bellanoviella

How long should withdrawal symptoms last? Today is day 6 with no drugs .. He was laying on my lap earlier while I did school work and he was sweating profusely. I haven't noticed him sweating as bad as he did tonight the past few days.. I've read it could take up to 2 weeks, even months, for withdrawal symptoms to subside. But I wasn't sure if the sweating stage would increase at this point like it is..? I've been with him every day and I know all too well when he is high, he has shown no signs of using since he stopped last week.. I don't want to be naive so I'm questioning it. But unless he's done some drug that he's somehow mastered the effects, which I highly doubt just because it's blatantly obvious when he's high , I just want to make sure this is normal.. Thanks in advance =\

barefoottoday

Thinking of you Bella! Sending hugs your way, I imagine things are a little rough right now. Sorry I don't have an answer to your particular question.

bellanoviella

This morning I asked how he was feeling.. He said fine, why? I told him how he was sweating and very cold.. He didn't even remember it.. He kept saying no way, like it definitely didn't happen. He said if it was withdrawal he wouldn't have slept, and he did sleep all night. So that was weird...

bellanoviella

I've been thinking of you too barefoottoday. Hoping things are looking up for you! Things have been okay with him and I.. He's been doing good, so we've been doing good. Just hoping it lasts.

barefoottoday

I'm glad to hear youre doing ok. I'm doing ok too. Doing a lot of thinking, coming up with a plan. My boyfriend found some suboxene. He was only sober for like a day, went to work and went back out. It was scary to see him how he was when I got home so I took the van keys, possibly for good. That night he got the subs. Today was his second dose. Honestly, and I hate to say this, I don't know that he's truly ready to get clean yet. That's why I'm coming up with my own plan, for me. Our lives are so intertwined, I don't know how I can just let go without taking care of all this stuff first, but I may not have a choice. I'm trying to get out of his way, if you know what I mean. I don't want to manipulate, enable, control, etc. And I feel like I'm taking forever to learn how I may be doing those things, even unintentionally. But I'll get there.

My bf was sweaty, feverish feeling even sometimes when he was high, but also when he's been in withdrawal. Tough to say what the case is for yours. From what I know and have seen, withdrawal lasts at least a few days, and it sucks. My bf also can't sleep well during withdrawl, but again, also when he's been high! He'll sit up in bed itching like crazy, but be half asleep. The thing is, as far as I've seen, he can sleep just fine the first day, maybe 2 after using. He can sleep for a long time. He can sleep when he's using if it's stretched out and not a high dose. This is just my experience.

I guess what I would ask you, and what I ask me, is do we want to live like this, guessing, not trusting, watching for this or that? Because let me tell you too, my bf has lied, lies hard, congress up with the best stories every time I've confronted him. Even when he's been "truthful," it's still not the whole truth. "I only spent $80." Ok, sure, but $200 is missing from the account. And I'm just gonna assume you spent that all on drugs. And why would it be any damn better if you only spent $80?! You still used! The less get mind boggling. And more than anything in this world, I hate being lied to. But since he's been using, he's done it over and over and over again.

Sorry, I kind of started rambling there!

If you want real info, look on the addict section, Google information, talk to people who are impartial that you trust. Or just listen to your gut. Not your heart, your gut.

I hope things work out for you, but regardless, know that we well be ok, we will get through this!

barefoottoday

There are other signs of use but I'm guessing you're familiar with them.

I don't want to feed too much into focusing on the addict, we gotta take care of ourselves, right?

bellanoviella

Absolutely. And I am taking care of myself.. something that I'm proud to say I haven't stopped doing, and don't plan to. Last night while he was sweaty/cold was the only time I've suspected something just because it was out of the ordinary. It's been great honestly. But even in the thick of it (and it may not be over) I would get SO MAD that I was being lied to and this is what my life had become.. towards the end.. whenever something would happen, I'd sort of "wipe my hands" of the situation. Cool, that's what you want to do? That's how you want to live? Good for you.. I'm not going to get dragged down or stressed out all day because of it. I'm working towards bettering my life, and I'm not letting him get in the way of it :-)

That being said, OF COURSE I want him to stay straight and on the right path.. But I can't let the what if's run my life.

I hope things work out for you in a way that's manageable. If you want to email or something, let me know! Our stories are more similar than anyone else I've talked to on here.

barefoottoday

Bella,

Seriously, you sound like such a strong woman! I definitely let myself get so wrapped up in my bf and what he was doing that I was unable to manage my own life, my head was literally spinning. I don't feel that way now, but I'm kind of at a crossroads, or something. I've decided to give him this last chance. I'm really guarded about it, pretty much expecting things to go bad...though hoping for the best. But how do I do that? Do I just wait and see? Do I keep tabs (which I don't want to do, it's too draining)? How will I know if he's lying? All these what-ifs and blah blah.

But what I'm going to do is focus on me, keep going to Al-Anon meetings, learn how to take care of myself. Not sure what else I can do!

We do have similar stories, and it might be nice to email and keep in touch. The people on here seem pretty amazing. So much support and caring, it's helped keep me sane Hopefully one day I can pay that forward.

bellanoviella

I hope things work out for you this time.. I'm also giving my boyfriend a last chance. I've told myself I'm going to stop snooping, checking up on him, and asking questions.. Because you're right, it's draining and I'm tired of my days revolving around making sure he's okay. It's crazy that I'm giving him this last chance given that yesterday he relapsed and got high.. But instead of taking suboxone to get off of it, he got sick last night (still is currently going through it) so he remembers how crucial it is to stay clean. He's tired of letting it run his life and make him feel like an older man, when he's only in his 20s.. I don't know why I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt this last time, I guess I just haven't given up full hope on him.. I know he's still in there.. But I'm past my breaking point, and I'm strong enough to walk away if this doesn't last. I hope you are too.

I'm hoping for the best for both of us! Keep in touch :-*

Footdown

Two months later, is he still clean? And how would you know if he wasn't?

bellanoviella

No, he's not. He was clean for 38 days and then relapsed again. He's in rehab right now.

How would I know if he wasn't what? Clean? It's obvious when he's using.

Footdown

I think that just helped me decide. And I could never tell when my boyfriend was. Ever. It was crazy.

cindy90

He does not need your help . He needs rehab and professional help. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

bellanoviella

Thanks, but this post is very old...

ardy

Hi Bella know just where you are coming from... hubby and I have been together 22 years... knew of his problem in 1992. we had just started dating and then I walked in to his apartment and found to much.. said have a good life kiddo.. Iam out of here.. I worked in stocks and Bonds and was a Lady Clown that worked with sick and dying children.. my Kids let him sit on the porch in the snow for 7 hours.. yep.. my Teenagers read him the riot act.. he stopped cold ahahha had to.. it was not untill the surgeries that he got hooked on the pain pills.. now his body is fighting him and me every step.. the new one hives....everytime he has to take the morphine .. and he is cutting that back.. know how to tell when things are not right.. he shouts at everything anger is out of control and when he does try to be sweet the little guy will not work.. and in Oct he turns 60.... my standing joke ... Old man you are in for the long haul... and it is not going to get easier.. nope.. and I am 64....give the Doctors Hell and we have not gone back to an ER in almost 18 months... for anything.. tough it out at home... all of the side effects... the only thing I fear is his mind... have worked in Child Protection with a bunch of great people they taught me what to watch for in public and on runs to pick up kids... the animal that will turn and bite... have seen that animal try to step out of my hubby acouple of times.. that is the only part I fear.. love and prayers ardy

ardy

the sweating is a huge part of it... nervous and anger follow that animal.. and pacing and being afraid and then you will be the target for rage.. and then you do realize that they just find something else to over due on .. my hubby comic books and cartoons... and down loads of anything that will make me happy from the net.. so we are up to 19 flash drives of audio books we have 450 movies on flash drives.. their mind never goes back to the beginning.. but I did get to see the hubby of the 1990's this weekend.. right down to the twinkle in the eyes.. and the apple in his checks for a couple of hours and then the anger showed up and sweating.. have to hang on to the good moments forever. ardy