very crappy day

Old 04-22-2014, 09:35 PM
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very crappy day

Well, my day totally sucked. my son didn't go to bed til 230 am. he was crying for his father saying I miss daddy. I didn't know what to tell him. I can't stand the fact that he doesn't care, didn't care, gave up on himself, our marriage. I feel like screaming at him. But I don't. There"s no point.

So as you know, the reason I finally couldn't take him and his ways when I found out he lent his mother(whom I have a pfa against) $100 of my money. I say my b/c he hasn't worked in over 2 1/2 years. He didn't even bother asking me before he did it. And he blew another$100 on God knows what!.
Grr. So I threw him out, told him I'm done with this marriage. He had been out of detox for 3 months. Applied for 1 job. 1 job. Well his mom can deal with her lazy 28 year olf child now.
I'm getting off subject. I'm mad tonight b/c I don't have enough money to make it until pay day. Do u think he cares? No. His reply to that..I'll have to see what my mom can do. Uhh..no. you lent her money, and I should be fine with the$15 I have until Friday, but I can't not have money. Come on now, I have a6 yrold son to support.

Sorry I am really starting to doubt that he was telling the truth at all since he left detox. We wesupposed too buy a car. $500 he gave the lady. She won't pick up her phone so we can get the car transferred over. So tonight I asked him for the phone# so I can call her. He tells me I have too get it for you later. Did he even give her money? Is that why he was acting so off the past couple of weeks?.

Oh, and back to our son. I told him tonight that mommy and daddy broke up. He hasn't noticed him not being here until last night. Do I asked the advice from the psych mds and therapist I work with and they told me I should tell him. He didn't even cry. Only asked ifs he getting a new daddy. He knew he hadn't been sleeping here, but I guess it didn't bother him. Of course I cried my eyes out. I'm so lonely. I miss him terribly. My x that is. I hate that it had to come too this, that he just doesn't care, have up. Never in a million years did I ever think that he would act like this.

I read a previous post and they said when enough is enough, and you just can't take it A ny more you have too left go and just walk away. I did that. I am so glad I did, but so hurt that I was trying to keep out marriage and family together when he obviously gave up long before I did.
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Old 04-23-2014, 04:18 AM
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Ann
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It's hard now, and you will have hard days ahead, but none so hard as living with an active addict.

If his stories are similar to my sons, there is no lady and no car, just drugs. Please hang on to your money and keep it safe, and your valuables too. Maybe change your locks and install an alarm. Sadly, he may come back for more.

My prayers go out for you and your son. Your son will do better with one happy parent than 2 who are living under the dark cloud of addiction.

Hugs
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Old 04-23-2014, 09:57 AM
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cmfl23 - I know that it get's easier. The time that the kids miss their father (mine) is difficult and it's okay to cry with them. There feelings are real. It's okay to miss someone. Yet, sometimes we can't be together. I bought some books on divorce and read them to my kids. I wish someone would write a child-based book on addiction. Daddies not here because he's a junkie and loves drugs more than us. (sorry, angry). It gets me so angry that my own husband has hurt my kids so much. Not being there, jail, rehab... it's not responsible.
I go day by day. Sometimes hour by hour. Vent away!
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Old 04-24-2014, 08:35 AM
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Thank you both
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:32 PM
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Cmfl, thinking of you tonight, and hope you have found a bit of peace about your decision.

It is sooo true that children are happier with one parent, in a household of peace, joy and laughter, than a life spent with an addict parent who is making the other parent sad and miserable.
You both deserve to be as happy as you can be! you and your precious son. I hope his father gets well someday soon, but til then, show your son a happy life, and a happy momma.

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