LoveMeNow

Promises to myself....

I just had a rough 20 minutes. I cried so hard and really struggled with not contacting him. Whew, I made it without doing anything that I would regret later. I went to the stickies and read, bumped a couple of older posts, wrote an email, listened to some good music, and prayed for help to keep me in the light.

Now, I am making the following promises to myself....

I will never settle for less again.
I will never allow anyone to disrespect me.
I will never try to change anyone.
I will never fear the truth.
I will never engage with unhealthy people unless absolutely necessary.
I will never allow this disease to take more from me.


I will love myself.
I will be ok, more then ok. I will be great.
I will work hard to be healthy.
I will rebuild my life.
I will find my happiness from within.
I will stay in faith.
I will stay in gratitude.
I will laugh and smile any chance I can.



What promises will you make to yourself?

Ann

You said it well, LMN, it helps me to remind myself of where I want to go with my life...and where I don't want to go.

I will never again try to "fix" that which is not mine to fix.
I will never give so much of myself and my resources that I become spiritually, emotionally and financially broke.
I will never again do for anyone what they should and can do for themselves.
I will never spend so much time and energy on anyone else that my own health and self-caring suffers.

I will trust that God has a plan for each of us and that it is a good plan.
I will recharge my spiritual batteries daily to keep the light of faith burning in my heart.
I will find joy with every sunrise and embrace each new day.
I will find my own truth and stand in it, even if I stand alone.

Wow, once I got rolling that was easier than I thought.

Thanks for giving me something positive to begin my day.

Hugs

AnvilheadII

Personal Bill of Rights



Every man, woman, and child has the following rights by virtue of the fact that they exist.
These are reasonable and ordinary expectations, which create appropriate boundaries.




I have the right to make my own choices.

I have the right to follow my own values and standards,
as long as I am not abusive towards others.

I have a right to dignity and respect.

I have a right to all of my feelings.

I have a right to express myself as long as
I am not abusive toward others.

I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.

I have a right to recognize and accept my own value system as appropriate.

I have a right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

I have the right to say no when I feel I am not ready, unsafe,
or that it violates my values (this goes for kids too...they have
the right to say "no" to their parents)

I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

I have the right not to be responsible for others behavior,
actions, feelings or problems.

I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.

I have the right to make decisions based on my
feelings and judgment for any reason.

I have the right to change my mind at any time.

I have the right to my personal space and time needs.

I have the right to be flexible and be comfortable with doing so.

I have the right to be in a safe, non-abusive environment.

I have the right to forgive others and forgive myself.

I have the right to give and receive unconditional love.

I have the right to enjoy being sexual and celebrate my sexuality.

I have the right to my own spiritual beliefs and to celebrate them.

I have the right to grieve when I don't get what I need.

I have the right to grieve when I get something I didn't need or want.

I have the right to joyfully receive without feeling guilty.

I have a right to healthy relationships of my choice.

I have the right to be angry with someone I love.

I can take care of myself, no matter what.

I have the right to be, and can be, healthier than those around me.

I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.

I have the right to terminate conversations for any reason.

It is OK to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.

I have a right to expect honesty from others.

I have the right to change and grow.

I have the right to follow my own path.

I have the right to be happy.

Ann

I just love that, Anvil, it's truly a keeper.

Hugs

HealingWillCome

Anvil, it was easy for me to read that as an adult woman and go, "check, check, check...okay, got it."

But, then I backed up and read it through the eyes of my children. They are almost 21, almost 18, and almost 15. Whew. That was entirely different.

I have raised them by myself for the past 14 years. We are struggling in our relationships right now as I find it hard to let go of the reins (a cop-out way of saying "give up control") in many aspects of their lives. Single parenting has forced me to run the show for a long time, and now I'm having to learn to trust that they will be okay...in spite of the fact that they have an alcoholic father, a codependent mom (but, hey, I'm working hard on myself), and they come from a gene pool of alcoholism and addiction on both sides of the family. They also have a lot of blessings in the form of brains, talent, beauty, and big hearts. And they have a multitude of good, healthy people in their lives. So for those things, I am enormously grateful. But, it is a struggle for me to let go. So hard.

So, from a mother who needed to read this through her children's eyes, thank you.

HealingWillCome

And with respect to your original post, LoveMeNow, that was beautiful. Truly. I have been in your shoes, making it through those rough 20-minute patches. And I know how sometimes they can be 20-hour patches. Heck, 20-day patches weren't too far off sometimes.

Thanks, LMN, for a beautiful post.

AnvilheadII

HWC - this saying below is on a plaque i got my daughter years ago, that she has hanging right now in her bathroom located so she sees and reads it everyday. i noticed it when i was over there cat sitting this past week. i emailed her this morning as i couldn't remember how it started and she rattled it off verbatim:

I am the only unique me that will ever be.
I have the power to make a difference in this world.
I look forward to talking on the grand adventure of life, living,
and always remembering to be myself.
— Catrinka

HealingWillCome

Thank you. I love that she has it memorized. My oldest is struggling with finding herself right now. Struggling with fear of failure and has a lot of anxiety over a lot of things. I am finding that I can share things like this with her right now rather than try to talk to her. I'm afraid she hears a lecture the moment I bring up anything below the surface of day-to-day activities. Something like this is more empowering than threatening.

MLJ88

Beautifully written LMN.

Here's my promises to myself so far-

I promise to trust my instincts, no matter how difficult it may be.

I promise to demand respect in my life ( I hate when people say you cannot demand respect bc it has to be earned. Well I have put my time in and damn it I'm demanding it)

I promise to keep God with me every moment of everyday, and trust that he will lead me in the right direction.

I promise to pick myself up no matter how many times I get knocked down.

I promise to try to find the right path to take, and once I'm on it- stay on it!

I promise to love myself more then him.