ddincrisis

So my parents told me when they detoxed last year, while admitting everything to me, that they were spending upwards to 5k-6k a month on their addiction. That blows my mind. How much were your addicts spending? Is this the norm? Their DOC was pain pills and xanax.

neferkamichael

I spent $200,000 or more in 42 years of using. Blows my mind to.

starfish401

At my peak, I was using about $150-$200 (equates to about a brick and a half, or 75 bags) of heroin daily. Fortunately (unfortunately?) I got deals for purchasing in quantities, so I never paid the so-called "street-prices".

Looking back, it makes me sick. I paid for my dealers cars (and he has quite a few), I paid his rent, his daily new pairs of sneakers, his children's private school education, paid for his Christmas presents for family and friends... basically paid for everything that I wanted, that he had, but I couldn't afford. I could have purchased a house on Martha's Vineyard for the amount of money I spent on drugs. Never again.

Upsetnneedhelp

My son would go on alcohol and heroin benders. Not using for periods and then a binge. Heroin was more of an upper to him than a downer. Horribly, he resorted to robbing the local drug spots when he was completely broke. Or scrapping metals from construction projects to sell. He seemed to like copper the most. I'm not really sure it matters how much money the drug addicts wasted. If they are alive then they have the possibility to change. Many die from their habits.

AnvilheadII

it's ALL too much! when we were looking at renting a cute little beach cottage it was about double what we had been paying at the other house. we talked about it, did the math and said, well if we quit smoking crack every other damn day we'd have plenty enough! fortunately for us, that was motivation enough to make some real changes.....a year and a half later, after cutting back, tapering off, trying to have more non-using days than using days, we quit and a month later, bought our house. basically we were smoking a mortgage payment a month.

Sungrl

This is interesting to me because my ex was unemployed on a very limited budget. When he did get his cocaine and pills I always wondered how he could afford them, I always thought coke was a very expensive habit. He was not a daily user but often enough in the three years we were together. When I found all the various pills and the signs he was using he would always say his using buddies would just share and give him stuff at no cost. I know there were occasions he used his money, but is it typical for dealers and other addicts to just share their stash?? I never understood with his limited means how he could do drugs to the extent he was.

Kindeyes

They may do it once or twice but not on a regular basis....no. There are all kinds of ways that a person can buy drugs without cash. They can run "errands", do favors, steal & pawn, steal identities, steal credit cards, trade EBT card balances, trade gift cards provided by family, kite checks, sexual favors.......there are a myriad of ways that a creative addict can augment his/her habit.

But generally speaking....addicts don't share well.

gentle hugs
ke

dane5679

My AH said while in rehab that he spent at least 100,000 in the past year
Makes me sick.

cynical one

Have you recently ordered a report from all 3 credit agencies?

Ann

Keep in mind that I am at the codependent end of addiction.

In 10 years of enabling my son, helping with his rent and his groceries and clothes (mostly basics and winter wear) and tools each time he got a job (then relapsed and sold the tools), giving him a transit pass to get around and money for coffee at his meetings that he "said" he was going to...well you get the picture, basically I WAS the Bank of Canada...anyway, in 10 years at a minimum of $20 a day, it adds up to $73,000.

If I add what he stole from me, throw on another $20,000 and rounded up a tad for reality, my codependency cost me at least $100,000!!!

All I can say is that the life lessons I learned, the better healthier way of living that my recovery has brought me and the joy and beauty I see in each day, not to mention all the wonderful recovery friends I have met here and along the way...all this is worth whatever I lost to pay admission to this club.

Love you all.

Vale

100k, huh?
That was your SON.

I spent a bit over 10k, over 18 months.....on a person
two steps removed from a complete stranger. There are very few
here who would fault a Mom trying so hard for her son----
and fewer still who would not consider me an utter fool.

(THANK GOD for perfect SR anonymity!)

It may have been enabling, but I can think of no more
airtight parcel of mitigation than a Mom/Son relationship.

I, on the other hand, am privy to no such mitigation.
My sole solace & purpose here is to act as a navigation/
warning beacon......flashing red in the night......to as
many brave mariners as I can reach.......

("Change course........do not allow your vessel to run up
up these rocks!")

needingabreak

DDincrisis, between paying off a car loan my husband cosigned for when my son was sober, college semesters he withdrew from, insurance payments, rehab, counseling, flights, sober living and all that goes with it, Id say the last three years we have spent well over 30k and that is not including the food, gas and other incidentals we have paid for over the years. My husband and I decided a couple months ago we are no longer giving him money for anything. He still has debts he needs to pay but that is his problem.
Vale, I dont think you are an utter fool at all. I think you are a very caring, compassionate man who extended a loving gesture to try and give someone a second chance. I think that takes a very special person.
We have certainly all learned a lot from it haven't we?

Upsetnneedhelp

I'm not sure how adding up how much the addicts in our lives wasted is helpful. My son spent close to a decade in prison which I would think is worse than any money.

needingabreak

Upset I think it is all sad. Don't think she meant it to be a contest of what is worse.She was blown away by how much her parents spent on drugs. It is both shocking and scary.

Vale

It IS all sad.
And very humbling.

As one who once felt there was no game
in this life that could not be won......

.....this was a good swift unexpected kick to the
private parts that RAPIDLY cured me of such a
foolish notion.

Vale......new & improved

(now with 99% more humility)

Lily1918

I was at about $600 a month at my peak. $300 a month at my lowest. Still....that is a lot for me considering rent is $750. That's just heroin. If I added ciggarettes in there it would be much closer to $1,000 a month.

Ann

Upsetneedhelp, no it's not a contest and I cannot imagine the pain of having a son in prison for 10 years. My pain is no greater than Vale's, your pain is no greater or worse than anyone here's. We all hurt deeply and we all came here for help because we could no longer help ourselves.

The lesson is here for the newcomer to see. Throwing money at addiction does not help, sobriety cannot be purchased.

The addicts who wasted thousands of dollars on their addiction and posted here, came out with the most valuable possession of all...their lives. Money is just "stuff". The real lessons, no matter what side of addiction you are on is that life is precious, faith is the light that conquers the darkness of fear, and love and support for one another is a gift no money can buy.

Love you all for sharing your light with me.

Vale

But Ann.........what if we had a WHOLE LOT of money!?
Like, bajillions & bajillions.......

like.......Rock Star money?!

Then, certainly, addiction would fall in defeat, if the aggregate sum were
sufficiently large.......no?

(everyone knows rock stars with their considerable resources, are immune to
addictive difficulties.)




The tragic truth is addiction is a disease of the spirit, apart and beyond the
biochemical aspect. We brave and intrepid codependent firemen with half-baked
unexamined rescue fantasies attack and flank the conflagration----but fail to notice
that our firehoses are throwing gasoline (not water) on the fire.

A predictable human interface is the "comparing of scars" ( e.g. mine is bigger than
yours). Some of you are old enough to remember the movie "Jaws"......where the snot
nosed kid and salty Captain are comparing scars.

While deep below them, a primeval ruthless unthinking killing machine
was stalking them all (and didn't care how many scars,or how deep).

Comparing scars is just one of the interesting things humans do.

(but don't forget the killing machine-/addiction/---it's down there....
.and it hasn't forgotten about YOU.)

......THAT damned fish cannot be bought off.....

it does not even know what money IS......it'll swallow you
whole,wallet and all.

Ann

Good analogy, Vale. Like jaws, addiction doesn't care who you are or what your history or background...or how many bajillions you throw at it.

Addiction is bigger than a mother's love. You can't find bigger than that.

starfish401

I used to think about this from time to time. What if I was a billionaire? A celebrity? What if I had an infinite amount of money at my disposal? Would I ever get clean?

For me, getting clean became synonymous with "my money running out" or "not having anyone else to scam". However, if I had the money to finance my habit, would I have been able to ever get sober? I was "functioning" certainly, but I was a mere shell of a person inside. But I was so used to feeling numb, I didn't really care anymore.

I suppose I'm grateful that I'm not a billionaire, because I would probably still be using heavily. Though I can't say it with certainty, I know that having no money was the push I needed to get clean, each and every time.