ImLearning

My husband has an addiction to pain meds and has been working on his sobriety since April 2012. Since the beginning of January I detached myself from him to gain clarity and to take care of myself. There was still so much anger, resentment, confusion, self doubt, and I didnt trust my judgment. My therapist recommended a book called A Codependent No More which was such a huge eye opener. I learned so much about myself that I no longer feel like... Whats Wrong With Me. I am still learning so much about myself and his addiction. I am eager to learn more. The more knowledge I have, I gain more confidence and feel at peace within myself. I still have a lot of mixed emotions. Do I want the marriage to work? Should I move on? My feelings are inconsistent, will that go away in time? I still dont know what to believe from what he tells me. During this time that we are apart, is he truly working on himself? I guess time will tell but how much time? One week Im feeling confident, sure of myself. The next week I have doubt. Its frustrating!!

Hanna

That is a hard place to be in but 'One day at a time' works for Friends and Family, too.
You don't have to know all the answers today. When you are ready those answers will come to you. Meanwhile, some good advice from my best friend, "Now is not the time to get a tattoo!!!" Meaning, don't make any permanent or life-altering decisions at this time.

ConfusedinCT

As you read posts on this site, you learn that codependents are in recovery too. Its a process, it takes a lot of time and effort, and there are good days and bad days. Sometimes its two steps forward and one step back, other times one step forward and two steps back. The marriage needs to work its way to a new normal as both partners deal with their respective issues. If both are committed to healing and to the relationship, you will get there. My husband began his sobriety last April and I've been working on my codependency issues since then. Today I can say that I am feeling better than yesterday, and am hopeful for tomorrow. One day at a time. Good luck.