Manipulative Brother - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sisterblister · 02-07-2012, 01:58 PM

My brother is a recovering drug addict. Been clean for 90 days, been off hard drugs for 6 months or so, and has been working the program. It is amazing to see the person I saw when i was 9-10 years old.

We grew up in a pretty abusive household and my brother has real Daddy issues. It seems he latches onto almost unconsciously every older guy at NA who is nice to him. The latest one bought my brother $200 worth of clothes at the mall and is taking him out to dinner and a movie after a meeting tonight. My brother knows its wrong, he feels crappy when he comes back to the point of wanting to use again, but he cant help himself it seems. He doesn't seem able to connect how he feels when he gets back from hanging out with these guys to the situation to his childhood.

I told him it was wrong and that these guys all had agendas but he doesnt see it that way. These guys care about him, they are wise and have bank accounts, jobs, cars, etc... things my brother has never had. All I can do is keep going to Al-Anon and just allow my brother to continue. It seems thankfully the sober he gets the less he can tolerate this ****.

**Ann** · 02-07-2012, 04:21 PM

Welcome Sister, I'm glad you joined us.

I hope your brother can stay on a good path and take time to understand why he seeks out the approval and attention of older men.

Make yourself comfortable and take a read around. You will find a lot of helpful information here and support by friends who have been where you are.

Hugs

logo · 02-07-2012, 05:36 PM

If your brother goes to enough meetings he will come to and come to believe that recovery is an inside job and learn to depend on himself. I hope he makes it. Good luck. Logo

02-07-2012, 01:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
sisterblister Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1	Manipulative Brother My brother is a recovering drug addict. Been clean for 90 days, been off hard drugs for 6 months or so, and has been working the program. It is amazing to see the person I saw when i was 9-10 years old. We grew up in a pretty abusive household and my brother has real Daddy issues. It seems he latches onto almost unconsciously every older guy at NA who is nice to him. The latest one bought my brother $200 worth of clothes at the mall and is taking him out to dinner and a movie after a meeting tonight. My brother knows its wrong, he feels crappy when he comes back to the point of wanting to use again, but he cant help himself it seems. He doesn't seem able to connect how he feels when he gets back from hanging out with these guys to the situation to his childhood. I told him it was wrong and that these guys all had agendas but he doesnt see it that way. These guys care about him, they are wise and have bank accounts, jobs, cars, etc... things my brother has never had. All I can do is keep going to Al-Anon and just allow my brother to continue. It seems thankfully the sober he gets the less he can tolerate this ****.

02-07-2012, 04:21 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 26,143	Welcome Sister, I'm glad you joined us. I hope your brother can stay on a good path and take time to understand why he seeks out the approval and attention of older men. Make yourself comfortable and take a read around. You will find a lot of helpful information here and support by friends who have been where you are. Hugs __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

02-07-2012, 05:36 PM	#3 (permalink)
logo NAIOU Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Last house on the block. Posts: 286	If your brother goes to enough meetings he will come to and come to believe that recovery is an inside job and learn to depend on himself. I hope he makes it. Good luck. Logo __________________ The Message Is Hope. The Promise Is Freedom.

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