Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > Friends and Family > Friends and Family of Substance Abusers
Forgot Password? Join Us!
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read Chat Room [1]


Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community

Already registered? Login above ---^
OR
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.



Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-06-2011, 09:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 100
What's a good way to "break up" with a drug addict?

I saw him recently and caught him stealing my money. Luckily, it wasn't that much. He also drives recklessly when I'm with him. I don't even know if he has a license. Those are the 2 big reasons why I want to end contact.

I also know if I stop enabling him, he won't talk to me anymore.

I don't know if its best to tell him in person or just ignore his calls/texts. I know if I tell him in person, he'll think I'm joking or whatever

This is the guy who I have a FWB relationship with on and off for over a year and have been friends for over 4yrs.

His drug addiction has gotten way worse over the last year. He has full-blown drug addiction and is in denial. I was reading the signs on the internet. I don't know what he's addicted to now. Far as I know he's addicted to painkillers and dope. On top of that, he likes his booze but not an alcoholic

I don't have contact with his family.
SarahBear is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 10:29 AM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 100
He also showers me with affection when I see him
SarahBear is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 11:17 AM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Chino's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,346
Blog Entries: 3
My opinion is to ignore him, go no contact. Block his number, do whatever it takes. Rip the band-aid off. He'll keep doing it if you continue to choose to be around him. If you let it go on, you're paying him to _____.
__________________
When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
Chino is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 11:52 AM   #4 (permalink)
totfit
 
totfit's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Murfreesboro, TN
Posts: 630
Blog Entries: 2
Be straight forward and tell him you are moving on. Don't even mention that it is because of the drugs or his behavior, because you will here, "I will stop or I will change". Just say you are done, be firm, and move on.
totfit is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 05:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
outtolunch's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,271
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahBear View Post


I saw him recently and caught him stealing my money.

Most folk call the police when they encounter a thief.

Luckily, it wasn't that much.

We codependents have a tendency to rationalize it's not so bad.

He also drives recklessly when I'm with him. I don't even know if he has a license. Those are the 2 big reasons why I want to end contact.

How about a third reason...you are worth more than this.

I also know if I stop enabling him, he won't talk to me anymore.

So...

I don't know if its best to tell him in person or just ignore his calls/texts. I know if I tell him in person, he'll think I'm joking or whatever
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahBear View Post
He also showers me with affection when I see him

Seems to be a connection between the last 2 statements. The affection is the payoff ? He's an addict doing what addicts do. He is not capaple of anything beyond drug seeking. If you want affection, buy a dog or cat. They are not going t steal from you or put you in harms way.
outtolunch is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to outtolunch For This Useful Post:
anvilhead (05-06-2011), atalose (05-06-2011), CatLover1234 (05-07-2011), wellwisher (05-07-2011), wicked (05-06-2011)
Old 05-06-2011, 05:56 PM   #6 (permalink)
Moment of Conception
 
Stimmed's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Planet Tragedy
Posts: 453
>>>> exit
Stimmed is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 07:18 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
barblsn's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: buffalo ny
Posts: 167
run, and don't look back.
barblsn is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2011, 08:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Medicine Lodge Kansas
Posts: 47
To paraphrase a Paul Simon song:
drop off the key
slip out the back,
hop on the bus,
make a new plan,
no need to be coy,
slugger9787 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to slugger9787 For This Useful Post:
Babyblue (05-06-2011)
Old 05-06-2011, 08:52 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Babyblue's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
Well.....Don't see him anymore.

Easy!

He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?

My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.

If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.

Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
Babyblue is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Babyblue For This Useful Post:
CanfixONLYme (05-06-2011), CatLover1234 (05-07-2011)
Old 05-06-2011, 09:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,902
Run fast, run hard and save yourself. Whatever it takes.
Callie is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Callie For This Useful Post:
CatLover1234 (05-07-2011)
Old 05-07-2011, 07:14 AM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by Babyblue View Post
Well.....Don't see him anymore.

Easy!

He stole from you so worrying about how to handle his feelings?

My sense is telling me that you care for him as more than FWB or you'd just not answer his calls and move on easily.

If you have feelings involved then that makes it harder to see how damaging he can be for you.

Drop him like a hot potato and don't look back.
The feelings and history we have shared makes it hard to just cut him out of my life. He knows it too.
SarahBear is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2011, 07:48 AM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
wellwisher's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,202
Rather than focus on what's good for him, focus on what is good for you.

Shine a light on what you want for yourself, what you want in your life, framed in the positive, and think about how you can attract those types of people into your life.

It has been drilled into my head that I have no control over people, places or things, and the only control I have is how I act myself.

People cannot "save" addicts....they have to save themselves.

Action...consequence.....and a strong bottom line -that's what gets people sober.

Good luck....
wellwisher is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiTweet this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:23 AM.


 
National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers
 
Drug Rehab | Best Treatment Center | Detox Center | Residential Treatment Center
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
 
Local Treatment Resources and Events
 
Alabama | Alaska | Arizona | Arkansas | California | Colorado | Connecticut | DC | Delaware
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming

© 2013 Internet Brands. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Health Disclaimer
A proud member of the SoberRecovery® Network of Addiction and Recovery Websites