hopingicanhelp

This is for all of you who are trying to cope with loving an addict. It's a hard road, and most of us keep taking the wrong path before we actually make the right turn and realize life really is better without them, and that leaving usually is the right decision!!!



It doesn't mean

If you see me smiling,
it doesn't mean I don't love you,
or miss you, or wish you were here.

If you see me laughing,
it doesn't mean I'm not dying
on the inside, just because you're
not here.

If you look from the outside,
and it seems I am okay...it
doesn't mean I'm not struggling
to breathe in the air.

If you think I can forget you,
and pretend we never were,
it doesn't mean that I can.

Don't think for a moment that
I will get over you overnight,
I will hurt, I will cry, I will probably
wish I would die. But I know in
the end I will still be alive. It doesn't
mean I don't love you, or that
I don't still care, it just means I
have to move on with my life.

And at the end of the day,
secretly I still pray that you
would come back for just
one more day.


Out
I want out, out of this deep darkness that my
head, and my heart keep creeping into. I want
to be able to go a day without flashes of the
past presenting itself to me. I want to be able
to be normal again, and not still feel his hands
on me everytime I fall asleep. I want to be able
to sleep through the night without worrying if
tonight will be the night he sneaks up, and finds
me. I want out of the madness in my heart,
and I want to be able to give my heart easier
to those that have good intentions, those who
I know won't hurt me. I want to be able to
listen to the radio without thinking of the hell
he put me through. There are no tears for him
here, no regrets, no thoughts of wanting him
back. Just regrets in the fact that I ever let
him in, that I ever loved him, and that I stayed
around for so long...and let him hurt me
time after time...again, and again.



You made the choice


You made the choice,
to hurt me, and cause
me pain. You broke my
heart, twisted my soul
unlike any other.

You made the choice,
to believe in your fears,
to second guess me,
you caused the tears.
You cut open my wounds,
made them bleed as if
they were new.

You made the choice,
to walk out that door,
to turn away, and run even
though I've stood by
your side. No other
would have given you
the love, and the chances
I have.

When your broke down
inside, and you think I
tossed you away, know,
you made the choice.


When you're done

When you’re done, you’re just done
Current mood: confident
I remember this feeling quite well from the past,
before you are ready the tears always come, they
make it so your heart is blind and you cannot see
the right way.

I remember so clearly when I left another that feeling
of knowing I was done, and before you know you
just cannot walk away, you always give them another
chance, another day.

But when you know, then you know it's time.....you
know you're done, you know it's over, and you
must move on. Something inside you snaps, you just
cannot do it anymore. You see so clearly the path to
the door.

No more fear, no more being afraid, you know you
have to leave, and his feelings cannot come before your
own anymore. When you're done, you're just done....

....and I am DONE!!! I am gone, fed up, it's over, my
love has been walked on, used, broken, shattered all
over the floor...no more can you hurt me though, I'm
taking that away from you.

So go away, don't waste your time. Do whatever, whenever
with your life. Because I am done, don't cry, I'll tell you
what you told me every time you made those tears fall down
my face SHUT UP, don't cry, you're pissing me off! Because
it does, it pisses me off that you are pretending to care now..
when it's too late, you pushed me too far...I am not yours
anymore.

When you're done, you're just done..and I am done!!!!