Poems for those loving an addict!!! This is for all of you who are trying to cope with loving an addict. It's a hard road, and most of us keep taking the wrong path before we actually make the right turn and realize life really is better without them, and that leaving usually is the right decision!!! It doesn't mean If you see me smiling, it doesn't mean I don't love you, or miss you, or wish you were here. If you see me laughing, it doesn't mean I'm not dying on the inside, just because you're not here. If you look from the outside, and it seems I am okay...it doesn't mean I'm not struggling to breathe in the air. If you think I can forget you, and pretend we never were, it doesn't mean that I can. Don't think for a moment that I will get over you overnight, I will hurt, I will cry, I will probably wish I would die. But I know in the end I will still be alive. It doesn't mean I don't love you, or that I don't still care, it just means I have to move on with my life. And at the end of the day, secretly I still pray that you would come back for just one more day. Out I want out, out of this deep darkness that my head, and my heart keep creeping into. I want to be able to go a day without flashes of the past presenting itself to me. I want to be able to be normal again, and not still feel his hands on me everytime I fall asleep. I want to be able to sleep through the night without worrying if tonight will be the night he sneaks up, and finds me. I want out of the madness in my heart, and I want to be able to give my heart easier to those that have good intentions, those who I know won't hurt me. I want to be able to listen to the radio without thinking of the hell he put me through. There are no tears for him here, no regrets, no thoughts of wanting him back. Just regrets in the fact that I ever let him in, that I ever loved him, and that I stayed around for so long...and let him hurt me time after time...again, and again. You made the choice You made the choice, to hurt me, and cause me pain. You broke my heart, twisted my soul unlike any other. You made the choice, to believe in your fears, to second guess me, you caused the tears. You cut open my wounds, made them bleed as if they were new. You made the choice, to walk out that door, to turn away, and run even though I've stood by your side. No other would have given you the love, and the chances I have. When your broke down inside, and you think I tossed you away, know, you made the choice. When you're done When you’re done, you’re just done Current mood: confident I remember this feeling quite well from the past, before you are ready the tears always come, they make it so your heart is blind and you cannot see the right way. I remember so clearly when I left another that feeling of knowing I was done, and before you know you just cannot walk away, you always give them another chance, another day. But when you know, then you know it's time.....you know you're done, you know it's over, and you must move on. Something inside you snaps, you just cannot do it anymore. You see so clearly the path to the door. No more fear, no more being afraid, you know you have to leave, and his feelings cannot come before your own anymore. When you're done, you're just done.... ....and I am DONE!!! I am gone, fed up, it's over, my love has been walked on, used, broken, shattered all over the floor...no more can you hurt me though, I'm taking that away from you. So go away, don't waste your time. Do whatever, whenever with your life. Because I am done, don't cry, I'll tell you what you told me every time you made those tears fall down my face SHUT UP, don't cry, you're pissing me off! Because it does, it pisses me off that you are pretending to care now.. when it's too late, you pushed me too far...I am not yours anymore. When you're done, you're just done..and I am done!!!! |
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