I hate holidays

[bren8854]

I'm not sure if my AS deliberately sabotages holidays or if it is just more noticeable because the family has higher expectations at holidays. My son has been in treatment many many times over the last five years and has been in treatment for the better part of the last year. He had been in treatment for five months at Christmas time and we brought him home on Christmas Eve. He actually had his dealer meet him in the airport bathroom and overdosed on Christmas Eve night. We sent him back to the rehab on Christmas day. We visited several times and on Easter planned to take his younger sisters along. He was caught using drugs in the sober living house and made to leave. He went to stay with a drug friend who, unfortunately, overdosed and died while my son was present. He agreed to go back to the treatment center. Lo and behold, he had a court date on July 1st and had to return to our town. He was supposed to return the next day to the treatment center. He took off that night and we haven't heard a word from him. We did receive one text last night saying "Im OK". He was ordered by the court to return to treatment for 60 days. I know what he will do, he will appear tomorrow night (Sunday) and act humbled and want to return to treatment on Monday. I'm not even sure if they will agree to take him back because of this last game he has played. He said he wanted to stay home until Monday and be with his FAMILY on the 4th (ha ha). I know that I am allowing him to ruin these holidays but don't know how to stop myself from getting my hopes up. I am frozen with terror everytime my phone rings or a strange car pulls down my streets. He has overdosed and been found at least five times. I know I can't stop this but I can't stop myself from my constant worry either. He will probably show back up tomorrow night and want to return to treatment on Monday because of his legal issues and because he knows he can't live with his drug friends for much longer. I don't know where or how much money he has. I believe he hoards the money he gets in the treatment center that he is supposed to use for his weekly Walmart trip. Thanks for listening.

[Freedom1990]

It took many years, a lot of worry (that changed nothing), and nearly losing my mind over my 31 year old AD before I finally got to where I am today.

I can't pray and worry at the same time. I have learned to replace fear with faith, faith that a loving God has plans for her, just as he has for me.

:ghug :ghug