Carefully planned relapse.

[SoberAndy]

DSD is now in detox. She is a recovering IV heroin addict. She was not using heron this time. She was drinking, smoking pot and apparently taking meth.

DSD was back in the house for three months. We suspected that she had been using but timing her use to fool the tests at the treatment center, but then she recently turned up positive for pot. We told her move out and we would pay for her to go back to her sober living house. Well, upon entering she turned up positive for meth, and they sent her to detox for three days. The detox place is pretty scary, but she's going. She's been there before.

What makes me sad is this time the use seemed so carefully calculated. She's had two years of recovery and enough education that she could teach most of the classes. We believe that for two months she was drinking and doing other drugs on the weekend because she knew she wouldn't be tested until mid-week. She lied through her teeth when asked about her sobriety.

She's been through a relapse like this before only much worse. In the beginning of her treatment, she started drinking and then started shooting heroin again. She knows that drinking is a very slippery slope for her.

Yet she has told us many times that she wanted to be "normal" again. She claimed she wanted to live like a normie but not use. I'm not optimistic she's given up that idea.

[Impurrfect]

((SoberAndy))

I'm sorry she's relapsed, but I'm glad she is getting help.

It took me a long time before I could accept that I wasn't "normal"; I'm an addict. I fought that idea quite hard. Even when I knew it intellectually, it didn't register in my heart and my gut for a while.

We A's all get to the point of acceptance in our own way and time, but I know, for me, a big part of my finding acceptance was the consequences. It finally got to the point to where using = bad consequences, so I just stayed in recovery.

I hope that she finds acceptance and learns that in recovery, we can be "normal", we just don't use.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[ventuhome]

Isnt it amazing how well they can manage drug related activites? Too bad you can put down on a resume "I was a successful manager of my drug career for X years....??"!!! My ASIL is the same way, she forged her own prescriptions. Her habit was opiates. She would use 5-8 different aliases off different doctors, have them all have refills on the same day in the same nearby city so she could pick them up on one trip to save gas!! Hope she finds her way back to recovery.