Al-anon for narcotics abuse?
 

I am new and am overwhelmed by this forum and don't know where to ask this question. Been dealing with 18 year old daughter with addictions. Finally realized that I needed help but there aren't NA meetings for families in my area. A friend told me to go to Al-anon meetings. I have been to three in the last four days. Just listening and being there. Am I breaking any rules? Are the Al-anon meetings appropriate for me? This is just so new to me. I've been trying to hide my daughter's addictions for so long that talking about it is stressful but I refuse to keep living the way I have for the last 5 years. Anyway, thanks.

Welcome wrkinrose. You have come to the right place on the SoberRecovery Boards. You will meet lots of parents who are dealing with addict children here. There are wonderful, supportive and understanding people here.

As for Alanon, it's the right place to go for face-to-face meetings. There are no Naranon meetings anywhere near where I live either and I've been going to Alanon since 2003. There are just as many parents of addicts in the meetings that I've attended as there are families of alcoholics there. Times have changed so much and these meetings have changed with the times. No one is afraid to speak and everyone does fit there. We may all be dealing with different addictions but they are ALL addictions. Most people that are dealing with alcoholic loved ones are also affected by someone who is or has used drugs too. I am the Mother of an alcoholic/addict son and I've met many just like myself.

Please go to the meetings and feel free to join right in. You definitely belong there as much as anyone else. And I do hope that you'll keep coming back here to post & to read what others here post.

Wrkinrose, Welcome to SR! I, too, am the mother of an AD (addicted daughter). I found my way to the rooms of Al-anon 9 years ago, and believe me when I say, it saved my life. I was too embrasessed to talk to anyone about this, and was headed toward a nervous breakdown. Addiction is addiction in my book, whether it be drugs or alcohol, so I'd say yes you are in the right place, and you will find the sharing of experience, strength and hope in the rooms of Al-anon to be very beneficial to you.

Sending you hugs from one mom to another.
Chris

Thanks so much for the welcome and the information. I have been reading here for a few weeks and appreciate the candor and caring I've seen. Listening at the meetings has helped me understand a few things about myself and I bought a book at one of them. It's hard because I want to do things fast and I am purposely slowing myself down. That's all I am doing right now. Learning and taking my time.

Hi Wrkinrose-

I am the mother of a addicted daugher. I know how you feel. I wouldn't talk to anyone either and finally about 2 years ago, I walked into an AlAnon room. Hardest thing I ever did because then I had to admit defeat. Best thing I ever did too. I too was ready for a mental break (if I hadn't already had one and just was to far gone to know). There are people here also that are full of wisdom and can really help you. Hope you keep coming back.

You are not alone
Gotahavfaith
:c009:

((Wrkinrose))

another mom here too - How great for you to seek help - by focusing on my own recovery I have given my loved ones a wonderful gift - a saner and more serene woman to deal with. Plus I have learned how to set healthy boundaries which helps them have the ability and opportunity to learn to take care of their responsibilitys - in turn that helps their self-esteem.

Hope you will keep reaching out for help - Don't give up before the miracles happen in you - YOU deserve them!!
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude & serenity)
Rita

Another mother of an addict here! Alanon restored my sanity! :)

Hello wrkinrose. :)
Non of my qualifiers have problems with alcohol, and both are in recovery and doing great. I've been attending Al-Anon for many years. At first I went there because there was only one Naranon meeting and for various reasons I didn't seem to fit in with that particular group. The whole idea of my recovery really is not affected by the drug of choice, I go for myself regardless of what choices others make about using, drinking or anything else.

Alanon is a great program for families of alcoholics AND families of addicts. The steps are the same. The lessons are the same. I hope you give it a try. I think it will help you feel better.

Mom of an addict son here, your definitely in the right spot. Alanon, and Naranon are great programs, and they give excellent advice for families who suffer the consequences of loving and living with an addict. Best not to enable, and TOUGH LOVE works wonders. Good Luck to you and your daughter.

Anything'll work. I did Naranon meetings with my mom when I was like.. 12 maybe? They helped me understand a little better but, I mean.. I was 12.. probably woulda been more helpful now. I think Al-anon is way more common than any naranon meetings so you'll find a lot of families of addicts and alcoholics there that'll help you. Best of luck.

welcome from another mom...
working the Al-anon program and steps has helped me in all my relationships.
I've made a couple great friends from the mtg. that are also a needed support system.

Don't go down w/ your AD. Focus on yourself and make the changes that you have control over. When we start taking our own inventory we see there is lots of room for change with ourself.

My son has just completed his 3rd inpatient rehab. This one lasted a yr. plus another he is now committed to another 6 mos. of after care outpatient sober home.
Don't give up on your girl but be patient and detach as necessary until she is ready to go. Then get her to treatment.

Hi wrkinrose,
Another mom of TWO addicts here. (...just lucky, I guess)


You're in the right place, glad you found us!

I also attend Alanon, and find my group to be supportive,
and knowledgeable of the steps.

Hugs, and hugs.....

P.S. There are NO rules in Alanon, only no crosstalking...which means don't interrupt whensomeone is talking. People share their EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH, and HOPE..(ESH) it's a wonderful place.


Are you feeling a bit better after attending a few meetings?



Hugs and hugs.........

malamariom
 

i joined an Alanon group 4 months ago . I have a son who has a drug addiction . We had a c meeting today about weather or not our meeting was open or closed . The end result was it was decided it was closed . I took over service as treasurer a few weeks ago . I have found the meetings a life saver for me but today the rug was pulled from under my feet when someone said we should remember to keep the focus on the alcohol connection . How Do I Cope with this need advice feel really uncomfortable now knowing that maybe someone does not think I should be attending this group help and some guideance needed please . Really find comfort and friendship here and also feel for other members who were really upset .

Malamarion, this thread is several years old so the original posters may not reply....but it remains very relevant and I'm glad you brought it back for the newcomers. Welcome to Soberrecovery.

My son is a drug addict, I found my recovery at CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) as my home group and also attended Al-Anon regularly and was accepted by everyone at the meeting. Nar-anon was harder to find and when I did find a meeting, each person there was dealing with a partner who was addicted (which is great for them) and I just didn't feel connected sharing about my son. That said, it was a good meeting too.

Where we find our meetings, the kind of meetings we find, is not as important as the fact that we DO find them and commit to our own recovery embracing the support of others who have been there.

I encourage each person here who has not attended any support meetings, to find something and try it this year as a good start to working your own recovery.

Yes, you are welcome there. You may also seek out Celebrate Recovery which is a lot the same.

Big hugs!

Malamarion,
I attend Al-Anon also. I obviously cannot speak for every group or even everyone in my group but I know you would be welcome. In our opening readings it clearly states to “keep the focus on us, not our alcoholic.” To me, addiction is addiction. Would you feel comfortable asking your group for clarification?
Jaeger