no contact at last - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

steve137 · 02-27-2009, 12:31 PM

i'll start with saying that i have started no contact today. the events of the other day have led me to this decision. i cant remember if i posted about it or not. basically she was really restless and doing the face picking thing. i FEEL pretty sure she was on something, that or she is going crazy. with all i have been going through with her, the thing that pushed me over the edge was her saying that she would call me last night and didnt. i will now try to break my addiction to her. no, wait, i will do that.

**hydrogirl** · 02-27-2009, 12:36 PM

Hey Steve,

Good luck with your new boundary. Please let us know how things go! You are on your way to peaceful and bright days ahead.

Hugs, HG

steve137 · 02-27-2009, 12:45 PM

thanks hydro

MyJoey · 02-27-2009, 01:29 PM

Good Luck Steve, it is hard to stay away from someone you care about. If you can do it, it will be the best thing for both of you.

Serenity Bound · 02-27-2009, 01:31 PM

Steve, I agree it is hard to stay away from someone you care about, however in the long run IMO this is the best step you can take.

Hugs,
Chris

sailorjohn · 02-27-2009, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steve137

i'll start with saying that i have started no contact today. the events of the other day have led me to this decision. i cant remember if i posted about it or not. basically she was really restless and doing the face picking thing. i FEEL pretty sure she was on something, that or she is going crazy. with all i have been going through with her, the thing that pushed me over the edge was her saying that she would call me last night and didnt. i will now try to break my addiction to her. no, wait, i will do that.

Some good advice I ignored, they always come back, so be prepared, and don't forget the facts. You can do it!

steve137 · 02-27-2009, 02:24 PM

"and don't forget the facts"

sometimes that is the hardest thing to do. i can forget about them in a matter of hours.

anvilhead · 02-27-2009, 02:25 PM

on day at a time, one phone call at a time, one memory at a time, one weak moment at a time....good on you Steve.

marle · 02-27-2009, 03:03 PM

Watching someone you care about displaying bizarre behavior can be really uncomfortable. That was when I realized that I needed to let my daughter go and trust that God was holding her in His loving arms. I can still remember the horror that I felt though so I know how hard it it. Sending prayers your way that you can find some peace. Hugs, Marle

atalose · 02-27-2009, 03:28 PM

That’s a very healthy step in the right direction. And as anvilhead said take each trigger at a time. Once you get away from the drama/chaos remember sailorjohn’s advice, don’t forget the facts on why she is an ex.

livingalie · 02-27-2009, 03:43 PM

I agree Steve. They do come back. My XH did - many times - and I was weak each time. And each time it was the same...love and romance for a few days and then back to deep in the sh$T.

I wish someone had told me that - that they come back. Cause in the case of my XH, I would've moved....far away.

Good for you in making that step. Be strong and we are all here if you need us.

Yesterdaysnumb · 02-27-2009, 04:11 PM

This has to be really hard for you. But I pray that this decision that you made will bring YOU peace. Good luck. I really don't know your history so I can't offer any advice. Only prayers!!

In a Tailspin · 02-27-2009, 06:30 PM

Good for you, Steve. I have seen you struggle against admitting to yourself that she is an addict and is currently using. I'm sure it was hard to see her acting like that, but I'm sure that it helped to banish some of the denial you'd been clinging to for so long.

I agree with the "they always come back" theory. One of my girlfriends never erases a guy's number from her phone. I, personally, had always felt a great sense of satisfaction and "moving on" when I deleted a guy out of my phone. But she said to me, much like we're telling you here, that they always call again........and it's always best to know it's them on the caller ID than to get caught off-guard when you answer it. Best advice she ever gave me!! Now I know which calls just need to go straight to voicemail!

***greeteachday*** · 02-27-2009, 08:54 PM

Good for you Steve! And like every addiction, looking at it one day at a time makes it possible...Those 24 hours keep adding up and before you know it, you'll have days where you don't even think about it!

WLDKATZ · 02-27-2009, 09:51 PM

I believe it is called the yo - yo period, it is written down in their hand book that they must come back to make our lives more misrable at least 5 or 6 more times before the realize you have had enough............ever think about a restraining order.....weomen take that personally.........good luck
Pamm

NeedingHelp7 · 02-27-2009, 09:57 PM

Stick with your choice steve, you will be glad you did. There is better for you elsewhere.
One day, sometimes minute at a time. It will get easier.

02-27-2009, 12:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
steve137 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: south jersey Posts: 80	no contact at last i'll start with saying that i have started no contact today. the events of the other day have led me to this decision. i cant remember if i posted about it or not. basically she was really restless and doing the face picking thing. i FEEL pretty sure she was on something, that or she is going crazy. with all i have been going through with her, the thing that pushed me over the edge was her saying that she would call me last night and didnt. i will now try to break my addiction to her. no, wait, i will do that.

02-27-2009, 03:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
marle Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: East Tawas, MI Posts: 3,691	Watching someone you care about displaying bizarre behavior can be really uncomfortable. That was when I realized that I needed to let my daughter go and trust that God was holding her in His loving arms. I can still remember the horror that I felt though so I know how hard it it. Sending prayers your way that you can find some peace. Hugs, Marle __________________ "If we all knew the answers, there would be no need for questions."

02-27-2009, 03:43 PM	#11 (permalink)
livingalie Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Eastern Shore, Maryland Posts: 61	I agree Steve. They do come back. My XH did - many times - and I was weak each time. And each time it was the same...love and romance for a few days and then back to deep in the sh$T. I wish someone had told me that - that they come back. Cause in the case of my XH, I would've moved....far away. Good for you in making that step. Be strong and we are all here if you need us. __________________ "The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life."

02-27-2009, 04:11 PM	#12 (permalink)
Yesterdaysnumb Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 321	This has to be really hard for you. But I pray that this decision that you made will bring YOU peace. Good luck. I really don't know your history so I can't offer any advice. Only prayers!! __________________ "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places..." Ephesians 6:12

02-27-2009, 08:54 PM	#14 (permalink)
*greeteachday* Just Me Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: a better place Posts: 3,849	Good for you Steve! And like every addiction, looking at it one day at a time makes it possible...Those 24 hours keep adding up and before you know it, you'll have days where you don't even think about it! __________________ Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith - Margaret Shepherd

02-27-2009, 12:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
hydrogirl Forum Leader Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Paris, I wish....... Posts: 3,067 Blog Entries: 1	Hey Steve, Good luck with your new boundary. Please let us know how things go! You are on your way to peaceful and bright days ahead. Hugs, HG

02-27-2009, 12:45 PM	#3 (permalink)
steve137 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: south jersey Posts: 80	thanks hydro

02-27-2009, 01:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
MyJoey Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Lancaster Co. Pa. Posts: 533	Good Luck Steve, it is hard to stay away from someone you care about. If you can do it, it will be the best thing for both of you.

02-27-2009, 01:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Serenity Bound Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Home of the Ravens-MD Posts: 1,342	Steve, I agree it is hard to stay away from someone you care about, however in the long run IMO this is the best step you can take. Hugs, Chris

02-27-2009, 02:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
steve137 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: south jersey Posts: 80	"and don't forget the facts" sometimes that is the hardest thing to do. i can forget about them in a matter of hours.

02-27-2009, 02:25 PM	#8 (permalink)
anvilhead Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 14,564	on day at a time, one phone call at a time, one memory at a time, one weak moment at a time....good on you Steve.

02-27-2009, 03:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
atalose Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 653	That’s a very healthy step in the right direction. And as anvilhead said take each trigger at a time. Once you get away from the drama/chaos remember sailorjohn’s advice, don’t forget the facts on why she is an ex.

02-27-2009, 06:30 PM	#13 (permalink)
In a Tailspin Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Western WA Posts: 132	Good for you, Steve. I have seen you struggle against admitting to yourself that she is an addict and is currently using. I'm sure it was hard to see her acting like that, but I'm sure that it helped to banish some of the denial you'd been clinging to for so long. I agree with the "they always come back" theory. One of my girlfriends never erases a guy's number from her phone. I, personally, had always felt a great sense of satisfaction and "moving on" when I deleted a guy out of my phone. But she said to me, much like we're telling you here, that they always call again........and it's always best to know it's them on the caller ID than to get caught off-guard when you answer it. Best advice she ever gave me!! Now I know which calls just need to go straight to voicemail!

02-27-2009, 09:51 PM	#15 (permalink)
WLDKATZ Hell on Wheels Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Flint MI Posts: 4,455	I believe it is called the yo - yo period, it is written down in their hand book that they must come back to make our lives more misrable at least 5 or 6 more times before the realize you have had enough............ever think about a restraining order.....weomen take that personally.........good luck Pamm __________________ Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!

02-27-2009, 09:57 PM	#16 (permalink)
NeedingHelp7 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NY Posts: 1,058	Stick with your choice steve, you will be glad you did. There is better for you elsewhere. One day, sometimes minute at a time. It will get easier. __________________ "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." (Jerem 29:11-12)

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