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Old 10-24-2008, 09:35 PM   #1 (permalink)
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How to blame others and make them speechless...

I'd love to hear someone top these addicts throwing blame around.

(My AS and GF lost their babies six months ago because the baby was born addicted......Our other children are praying to get permanent custody and we have six months of horror left!)

Ahemmmm.....

The only reason we got caught and the baby was born addicted was because they did not induce me on his due date.

It's the lawyer's fault we got contempt of court because he is stupid.

Our psychological evaluation is a bunch of lies. He just said what they told him to say because they want our kids.

It's your fault we aren't getting our kids back because you told them when we stole that money.

The next time I have a baby I am going to stay home and have an all natural birth so you can all go to h**l.

(Lord, grant me strength):praying
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It doesn't usually stay like this - though I guess it could. With my AD, the belligerence , the anger, and the constant blaming lasted only about a year. then she really did realize she had a drug problem, and it wasn't as bad. There are still lies, rationalizations, etc, but not so much anger. It's all part of their process - at first its really totally essential for them to justify everything in order to keep using and in order to not look at any problems they or their using is causing. crummy disease.

Fortunately for you and your family, the courts are pretty jaded and have heard it all!
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:54 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wenchris View Post
I'd love to hear someone top these addicts throwing blame around.

(My AS and GF lost their babies six months ago because the baby was born addicted......Our other children are praying to get permanent custody and we have six months of horror left!)

Ahemmmm.....

The only reason we got caught and the baby was born addicted was because they did not induce me on his due date.

It's the lawyer's fault we got contempt of court because he is stupid.

Our psychological evaluation is a bunch of lies. He just said what they told him to say because they want our kids.

It's your fault we aren't getting our kids back because you told them when we stole that money.

The next time I have a baby I am going to stay home and have an all natural birth so you can all go to h**l.

(Lord, grant me strength):praying

Isn't it just mind-blowing?! Reality seems to be a long, long, long way away from their minds. I often wonder how much is intentional, how much is manipulation, and/or how much of the BS they really believe.

Thinking about you and sending prayers for you tonight--

Hugs, Rica
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Old 10-25-2008, 05:10 AM   #4 (permalink)
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My Ad can come up with some pretty dumb excuses too. Seems she just always has bad luck nothing is her fault. Or she will take part of the blame but never all of it.
Sending prayers your way that the kids are kept safe.
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Mine just recently told me that she would not have gotten as badly addicted to heroin if I had stayed in her life. What she forgot was that she was the one who didn't want to see me because she was high. I think she said that because she is once again going down a slippery slope and she wants me to help her have both her addiction and a middle class lifestyle. Not going to happen but she is trying. Give yourself credit for realizing that they are just manipulating. That shows some real progress in your recovery. Hugs, Marle
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Old 10-25-2008, 08:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm in my angry stage - trying to find peace - so forgive me please - i'll be wiser and gentler in time i promise.
but (for my rant) these addicts with all their blame just make me so mad. nothing is their fault - its always someone else doing something to them. they seem to have such a victim mentality and never take responsibility for their actions. when innocent kids are involved its just gets me beside myself. I think we all need to carry a mirror and everytime we hear blame put the mirror up in their face so they can say it to themselves. they have no one to blame but themselves and as one of my new friends here says "quack quack quack"
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Old 10-25-2008, 09:04 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I would be afraid to think of how many maintained their middle class lifestyle for far longer than they deserved it. I have maintained my AS's lower class lifestyle for far longer than he has deserved it. I am finding some self satisfaction for keeping myself removed a bit more nowadays...

I have more crazy blame remarks that left me with my mouth hanging open and nothing left to say.......

This never would have happened if you had loved me as much as the other kids.

I'm not getting my kids back because my own mother won't help me.

We're not getting my kid's back because you keep telling the social worker what we are doing.

We can't see the kids this week because you won't give me the money to buy the stuff to make our drug test negative, even one time.

I just need to focus on the ridiculous to lose any shred of empathy....
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Old 10-25-2008, 09:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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a counselor told me once that everytime he says one of these ridiculous blame statements to pretend that he just said something equally silly like "mom you just caused an earthquake in china." then say to myself - "i did not cause an earthquake in china and i did not cause his problems." I kinda giggled the first few times i tried it - and it actually helped me to see the ridiculousness of his comments.
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Old 10-25-2008, 11:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
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here's one of my favourites from my ex:
he had a probation appointment in the morning and went out with his friends - it was the day that I had taken him to get his Ritalin prescription and I remember having a HUGE fight with him about leaving the pills home (by this time I had serious suspicions that he was not "losing" them every month) ... he was supposed to be home in a few hours, didn't come home at all ... called me the next day crying, freaking out because he'd been up all night, slept thru his probation appointment and his probation officer was breaching him ... left messages on our machine "oh sure, when i need you you're not there" ... (I was out looking for him to take him to his probation appointment)

His excuse? He told his probation officer he missed the bus ... but couldn't catch another one cuz he had no bus fair (well then how would he have paid the first time, right?) ... if he got breached he was going to kill himself, but didn't want his probation officer to call an ambulance ...

Told me the guy was an a-hole and hated him and always laughed at him when he talked to him (hmmm ... ya maybe he was laughing at the excuses he got EVERY time my ex couldn't make an appointment).

*sigh*
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Old 10-25-2008, 12:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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The last time my XABF asked me to bond him out of jail, he had his mom call me (she was the only one who would accept collect calls). I adored his mom, and she adored me. She said he wanted me to come pick him up...I was cool with that. Then she said he needed $250 and I said "oh, no!!" I told her why and she totally understood.

Next thing I know I get a 3-way call from him (she stayed out of it). When I told him I was NOT bailing him out, he gave me all these excuses of why he needed to get out. I told him "no" again.

He then says "well, okay...I'm just an addict..just toss me to the curb".

My anger got the best of me. I told him "yeah, well I'm an addict, too, but I don't use anymore...I have a job, I have a life, so don't throw that BS at ME!"

I didn't hear from him for a long, long time

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 10-25-2008, 12:50 PM   #11 (permalink)
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interesting ...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Impurrfect View Post
The last time my XABF asked me to bond him out of jail, he had his mom call me (she was the only one who would accept collect calls).
\

CRAZY!! This reminded me of the time when I DID agree to help my ex get out of jail ... he had his grandmother call me while i was having dinner at my parents' place because he'd been trying to call me all day at home and I wasn't there - I had told him I was going for dinner but I guess he was afraid I wouldn't get home in time to talk to him (cuz he's more important than dinner with my family, right?) His grandmother told me he was so sorry for the things he'd done (this was the time when the probation officer breached him that I'd mentioned above) ... and he confessed to me about using the Ritalin ... hmm ... only time I ever seemed to get much truth from him was when he was in jail ... *sigh*
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Old 10-25-2008, 01:03 PM   #12 (permalink)
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(((lovesmenot)))

My XABF is in jail again and he HATES that I'm not the codie I used to be As a matter of fact, I haven't heard from him since I told him "no, I will not send you money for food, no we will not get back together, and I am NOT the 'only person' you have to count on".

I'm sure if he knew about SR, he would blame everyone here

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 10-25-2008, 01:24 PM   #13 (permalink)
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it's my fault my brother has no money right now, because I 'took' Joe and his child benefit (about 12 a week)

He did have 27k 12 months ago from his wifes estate, plus a widowers pension. But, nah, I've broke him by taking the 12 a week that comes with Joe, it doesn't even pay for school lunches.
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Old 10-25-2008, 01:34 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It is the doctor's fault the AS and AGF are having their electricity turned off. The doctor would not give the GF her month's Ritalin prescription because he suspected she was selling it. Now they can't pay the electric bill.
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Old 10-25-2008, 01:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I really needed to laugh today, and this thread has allowed me to do that

Thanks!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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