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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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09-17-2008, 12:17 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 669
| Question for you all~~~
I haven't seen my son in 3 weeks and also haven't talked to him in 2. We are planning to attend a 50/60's week-end in Ellioctville NY this coming week-end and thats where Chris lives. Seeing that he hasn't gotten in touch with us lately~~~would you all call him when you got there or not. I'm kinda of thinking (if he remembers)) that I should let him get ahold of us. I'm not sure why he is ignoring us and it really hurts. His x-wife saw him last week-end and she said he looks great and is happy. I wonder if we are just a bad reminder of his screw-ups for the last 3 years......life can be so complex and I'm confused again...Hugs, Bonnie
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09-17-2008, 12:39 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,821
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I don't remember how long he's been clean, however, I would say NO. He is probably still feeling guilty, to what degree I don't know, and it's going to take him time to face up to all his screw ups and get around to being serious about saying I'm sorry. In the meantime, you are probably right to some degree and he just doesn't know how to talk to you or face you YET. Go enjoy your weekend. Remember, my mom didn't talk to me the last 2 1/2 years I used and then again in sobriety I didn't talk to her from '87 until '92. Just enjoy your weekend and HAVE FUN, lol Love and hugs,
__________________  God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road Of Happy Destiny (especially when you trudgin thru alligators up to your butt) |
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09-17-2008, 12:55 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Leap of faith survivor  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: In the pines, in the pines....
Posts: 1,364
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Bonnie, if it were me , I would let him be and leave it to him to contact... I know its hard, momma... ...try not to assume he is ignoring you but rather see it that he is just busy living his life... he has a lot on his plate..and trying to deal with recovery and work may be all he can handle right now... I am glad the report from friends is a good one, that is a blessing to be thankful for... Your 50's/60's weekend sounds like a blast!!! girl, I envy your social life..  Grateful
__________________  We are what we believe we are....C.S. Lewis You need to give up the life you have in order to have the life thats waiting for you... |
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09-17-2008, 01:11 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 196
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Ellicottville, NY. We are in the same area. I always go there for the Pumpkin festival and craft show in October and last few years have been gorgeous. I don't think I'd contact him either. Two weeks sure hasn't been that long, although to you I'm sure it's seemed longer. He may be having the guilt feelings and he may remember and contact you. I'd let him make the first move though. Maybe it's his time. Have a fun weekend. Sound's like my kinda time.
__________________ Baxter  "the happiest people don't always have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that comes their way" |
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09-17-2008, 01:32 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 669
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Thats amazing Baxter~~~Ellicottville is about an hour from us. I'm so glad that Chris is working and living up there and he doesn't go to all those bars....I'm glad its a little too e expensive for him. LOL OK~~I'll take all your suggestions and let it be. Thanks so much. Bonnie |
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09-17-2008, 02:17 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| get it, give it, grow in it  Join Date: May 2007 Location: Calif coast
Posts: 2,162
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I am sure that when I was in my 20s and busy with my life, that a few weeks went by w/0 me contacting my mother. That being said, I was never an addict. Perhaps leave him an email or voice message that you will be in town and for him to return the call if he'd like to get together at a neutral place for coffee or a meal. At least you got an update on him from his X and there seems to be no need to panic. |
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09-17-2008, 02:54 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Get Caught Reading  Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,397
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Hey, Bonnie. Good to see you, again. It's been awhile. I'm not sure why he's not contacting you, sweetie, but I think I'd have to let that go. He'll contact ya when he's ready. Whatever the reason, whether it's a "painful past", or maybe even a "maturing stage", he'll talk when he's ready. If you just wanna know if he's gonna go to the oldies weekend thingy...leave a message on his voicemail. "Hey, Chris. It's mom. Just wonderin' if your still interested in getting together when I'm in town this weekend. Just a reminder. Please let us know. Love ya, son. Take care." Hope you hear somethin' soon, Bonnie. I know how frustrating it can be. Have fun this weekend, regardless. Hugs, Linda
__________________ “The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss, "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!" |
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09-17-2008, 03:08 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New York, USA
Posts: 196
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Actually we live about an hour away also by Jamestown. Know what you mean about the bars being expensive. Cost a fortune to do a night on the town there. Good luck and hope you hear from him.
__________________ Baxter "the happiest people don't always have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything that comes their way" |
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09-17-2008, 03:26 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Jujubee Queen  Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In the SNOW belt!
Posts: 2,836
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BBD, He'll call. Believe me, he will eventually call you. Maybe he just needs some space right now, and YOU can use some too. Get your mind on other things... Enjoy that party, sounds like alot of fun... Hugs...
__________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. Diane |
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09-18-2008, 11:08 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Calif
Posts: 432
| Hi Bonnie
I have to agree with the others and, that is, I would go to Ellicotville and not contact him. If later, he finds out you were there and asks why you didn't, then you can tell him you didn't want to intrude. Ellicotville sounds like the town I live in......Kelseyville, California though! Sound like a Mayberry town to you? Well, it is! Beautiful though! Hugs, Devastated |
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