Urgent Need Help or Advice

[CrushedbyCrack]

My AH just called on his way home from an all day crack/beer binge. He said he thinks he's having a nervous breakdown and wants to get off the stuff. He said he wants me to take him to the hospital in the morning, take his work keys in to his work and turn them in and get his tools because he can't work there anymore because he always wants to use when he is there.

I have heard many times before that he wants to do this or that the next morning to get help...never really pans out. Just in case this time he is sincere, does anyone know...can we just walk into a normal hospital and tell them he needs to detox and is having a mental breakdown...or do we have to go somewhere else? He's been to outpatient rehab at a nice place nearby, but you just can't walk in there and be admitted, you have to make an appt, yada yada. What is the best route to go to get immediate help?

[sailorjohn]

Originally Posted by CrushedbyCrack

My AH just called on his way home from an all day crack/beer binge. He said he thinks he's having a nervous breakdown and wants to get off the stuff. He said he wants me to take him to the hospital in the morning, take his work keys in to his work and turn them in and get his tools because he can't work there anymore because he always wants to use when he is there.

I have heard many times before that he wants to do this or that the next morning to get help...never really pans out. Just in case this time he is sincere, does anyone know...can we just walk into a normal hospital and tell them he needs to detox and is having a mental breakdown...or do we have to go somewhere else? He's been to outpatient rehab at a nice place nearby, but you just can't walk in there and be admitted, you have to make an appt, yada yada. What is the best route to go to get immediate help?

Pretty sure he can walk into a hospital all by his lonesome and sign papers to have himself committed. Most hospitals have psych wards. Had a conversation with a person that told me that what they needed was to get off the street and away from there doc for thirty days to have at least a chance. He can do this by himself. If he's really sincere, he'll do this now rather that wait until the morning.

[Done-With-It]

Originally Posted by sailorjohn

Pretty sure he can walk into a hospital all by his lonesome and sign papers to have himself committed. Most hospitals have psych wards. Had a conversation with a person that told me that what they needed was to get off the street and away from there doc for thirty days to have at least a chance. He can do this by himself. If he's really sincere, he'll do this now rather that wait until the morning.

I agree with Sailorjohn, esp. with the part, if he's serious he'll do it now,
tomorrow morning is a long time away.
I know most places around here will take you in the psyche ward if you want help.


{CBC}

[Impurrfect]

I, too, agree with SailorJohn. If he really wants help, he'll do it now...not when he feels "better" tomorrow morning.

Anything I said, when I was smoking crack pretty much slipped my mind if I went 8 hours without it.

He can check out the hospital all by himself. He's old enough to smoke crack and drink beer, so he's old enough to get into recovery if he wants it.

Sorry, this sounds harsh, but I'm a recovering crack addict and when I decided to recover Iknew it and would have WALKED to a hospital if I needed to.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[CrushedbyCrack]

Did I mention he is suicidal as well? He's passed out now, so too late to do anything this minute. I pretty much think in the morning it will be a different story. It usually is. But he's been talking more and more about getting help, quitting, etc. He admits he's an alcoholic and a drug addict. I tried to tell him I think he has some kind of mental problem (bipolar or something-I really do believe this) and he said no, I'm just an alcoholic and a drug addict, my life is screwed up, and I can't go on like this...blah, blah, blah. But hey, at least he's not in denial anymore, right?
We'll see how things go in the morning. At least now I know he can just walk in a hospital and get admitted to a psyche ward...thanks guys....

[Impurrfect]

((Crushed))

I apologize for sounding so harsh on my earlier post. I guess it affected me because what he's saying reminds me of how I was in active addiction. It usually happened when I ran out of money and couldn't get dope...then I wanted to die, was miserable, hated my life, etc. Then, a few hours later, when I wasn't fiending for the dope, it was a different story.

I worked as a nurse in several ER's and it really depends on the hospital as to what kind of help he can get. Several people were given a number to contact for help. Most of the places I worked, they were not admitted to the psych wing unless they were an immediate danger to self/others. I am not saying this to discourage you, but ER's are used to having people come in after binges of their DOC, and wanting something done "NOW". If it is not immediately life-threatening, it is not an emergency. It's sad, but I know the ER's around here are just barely keeping their doors open because of money, and you have to be pretty darn sick to be admitted. Does he have insurance? That will help a lot.

I truly hope he wants help when he wakes up and that he gets it. There is a ton of help available, but he has to want it and they can't make him feel better RIGHT NOW. That, to me, was the hardest thing to accept. I was used to instant gratification and it was hard to get past that.

I also hope that you can accept that he's the only one that can do this. It strengthens our recovery when we do it ourself. I've had a ton of support, mostly "moral support" and it has helped tremendously, but they supported my RECOVERY, NOT my using. Now, when something good happens, I can say "wow, this happened because I did the right thing". That goes a huge way in recovery. If someone were "helping" me out, by taking care of my bills or my repsonsibilities, I would not be able to see that my actions are now causing GOOD consequences.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[CrushedbyCrack]

Well, he still wants to check himself into detox and inpatient. He wants me to take him. He can never do anything by himself, even make a doctor's appt. I think because he has been an addict since he was a teen (and now he is 39) he has never been responsible for anything, always had someone else to do things for him. He quit his job as of yesterday, and the insurance he had doesn't cover addiction help or even mental illness for that matter. I have no insurance, because we used his. I'm at a loss here. To my knowledge, they don't put him right into inpatient. They may not have an opening for another month. What is he supposed to do in the meantime??

[awakeawake]

I always liked the expression "God helps those who help themselves," and "where the is a will, there is a way." I don't know what you can for him- he needs to figure that one out... If you love him, you will make sure you can stand if he falls further down the pit. Tell him get out the yellow pages and call every single place listed under suicide, rehab, recovery, etc.

Some of the hotlines/websites:

The suicide hotline (1800 SUICIDE).
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locater (1-800-662-HELP)
Alcohol and Drug Abuse Helpline and Treatment: 800-234-0420

He could even go to an NA meeting - maybe someone there might be able to give him advice/know what he could do.

You might want to consider going to some Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings before you go insane.

I'll be praying for you both

[Ladybugg]

The salvation army has inpatient treatment centers all around the us-and they are free. To my understanding there is no detox from crack so he should be able to get right in. If you just go to the website you can find your region and probably a treatment center near you. I would look and find the number and let him call when he is ready, to see if they have any space for him.

[rozied]

It has been my experience that people who are addicted and mess up will say anything at the moment to avoid consequences.
If he is serious about getting help the people who posted to you are right, many hospitals have mental health units & there is always Medicaid to pay the bill if you don't have insurance.

[WishIWasNormal]

Dear CrushedByCrack,

Look at AH's last paycheck stub. If it shows a deduction for the insurance, you/he should have coverage until the next premium is due (end of the month, the 15th etc.) Good Luck.

[Impurrfect]

(((Crushed)))

"in the meantime" he can go to meetings...and lots of them. I prefer AA to NA, but that's just me, and I was always welcome as long as I didn't talk about crack...I just talked about "picking up" and got tons of support.

There is no detox from crack. It's not a physical addiction..it's mental. It's out of your system in a couple of days. Not to downplay it, though, because the mental is really hard.

He won't learn how to do things for himself if he's not made to. Why WOULD he make phone calls if he knows you will do it for him?

Salvation Army is a great idea and it's free.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[helpus]

I would think the outpaitent place he has gone to would be able to point you in the right direction. Good luck. I will Keep you both in my thooughts & prayers.

[cinderellawkids]

wow, salvation Army isnt free here and Ive never met an addict with even $10 to stay the night as required here. Guess every place is different.
While there is no detox from crack my BIL always checked himself into detox for the alcohol he was using with crack, because when using high amounts of both, you BAL level is much higher than one would imagine (even a day later)

[Impurrfect]

(((Cindi)) - I think you're right about the $10, but I've seen them waive the fee many, many times.

Good idea about the detox for alcohol. I never even thought about that, but probably because I didn't drink when I was using.

We had a county treatment center where I used to live (and use) that would give you treatment based on your income. I got IOP for free. They would also help RA's find a place to live once they got out of the Salvation Army, if that's where they were staying.
Of course, you had to follow their treatment plans and pass drug screens, but it was a good option for those who needed it. I think THEY paid for the stay at Salvation Army for up to 2 months for people in their program.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[anvilhead]

i think i'd keep with the motto of FIRST THINGS FIRST. HE needs to get his butt to detox, or the ER.....i'm fairly certain if he says he feels he is a danger to himself and has a bad drug problem they have to do something??? i believe someone suggested voluntary commitment........most hospitals and detoxes are skilled at dealing with drug addicts and have resource information on hand.

but this has to be HIS decision. you say he can't do a thing for himself.....really? so how did he go get dope? i'm guessing you didn't drop him off at the crackhouse, or make the call to the dealer FOR him? and i bet he certainly didn't ASK you FIRST? when motivated, he is perfectly capable of doing what he wants or needs. do NOT see him as a helpless victim here. as impurrfect said so eloquently, if he's old enough to go drink beer and go smoke crack, he's old enough to find recovery. i don't think we can hammer that point home hard enough....

what are YOUR plans if he doesn't follow thru this time? his disease is progressing, he just quit his job, i can only imagine his state of mind - you've stood by him for a long time now, and yet his addiction continued to spiral out of control, didn't it? cuz it has nothing to do with YOU, it's all about HIM..........HIS choices. unless and until he takes up the charge and puts for the effort to quit and stay quit, the heartbreak and the destruction will continue...probably pick up speed.......it's ok to look out for yourself. who else will?

[hello-kitty]

Do you really think he's suicidal? Then why oh why haven't you called 9-1-1?

Crack addict always say they are done forever when they run out of dope because coming down off the stuff sucks immensely and they want to stay out of trouble with their loved ones. They know exactly how to manipulate the ones they love. How many times has he told you he was going to quit? How many times has he actually followed through for any reasonable and believable amount of time?

Sad but true, as long as you continue to try to save him, he has no reason to save himself.

You must be in so much pain. I'm sorry for you. Really and truly.

[CarolD]

The Salvation Army has free resources.

Good luck to the two of you