Time for another parent check-in - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

***marle*** · 07-23-2008, 03:07 PM

I think it is time for another parent check-in. It has been a while and I have not seen some of our parents for a while. My daughter will have 60 days clean on Friday. She is still in the halfway house, comes home on weekends and seems to be working her program. I am nervous about her coming home but I will just take it as it comes. Hugs, Marle

rozied · 07-23-2008, 03:32 PM

Oh Marle I am so happy your daughter has made 60 days clean. I will keep her in my prayers that her recovery lasts & lasts one day at a time.
My son is bk in jail. From what I hear he may have to stay another 17mts until his sentence maxes out. They did give him a chance. They ok'd his parole for Sept 10th & sent him to wk release on June 27th. He had a fight with a co-wker after only 4 days on the job & was charged with Misconduct. That mandated him being sent bk to jail & it revoked his parole.

rahsue · 07-23-2008, 04:24 PM

Marle, such good news, and rozied, one of these days he'll be good, but for now at least he's clean.
My son is clean and sober 6 months this month, I am so at peace now, I still have a worry or two expecially if he misses a meeting, but Life Is Good.

Chino · 07-23-2008, 04:36 PM

As far as I know, my daughter is 60+ days clean but not sober so who knows what's next? I'm hands off and doing fine

peaceteach · 07-23-2008, 04:46 PM

Thanks, Marle, for the opportunity to participate

My son is still on suboxone for oxy addiction and wants to stay on it long term (?). He also has had some beers lately after being sober and clean from drugs for 3 months, and I'm kind of watching for a relapse, but it is his program, right? Like Rita says, "I have a no-no and will use it."

BBD · 07-23-2008, 04:47 PM

Sounds like your all pretty lucky. Sober and clean kids. I'm worried about my son but thanks to all of you~~~I know what I have to do. Thanks~~and I'm guessing "No news is good news". Bonnie

painter · 07-23-2008, 06:25 PM

Have not heard from Ad for a month. Do not know if she is still using or where she is. She has not called about her children. But I do not have time to worry myself sick about her like I use to , to busy raising her two children.

BBD · 07-23-2008, 06:34 PM

Your a great Gramma Painter. Those kids are lucky to have you. I have grandkids also and I BET you are busy..Good luck and smiles, Bonnie

**Ann** · 07-23-2008, 06:41 PM

It's great to hear the good news here, and even news like Rozied's with her son in jail is good in its own way, he's safer there than most places he might be.

I haven't heard from my son in 4 years now, but each day I still give him to God to take care of and then live a good life knowing he's in good hands. Funny thing, this is the second week I have been in Toronto for a course (through work) and my lovely hotel room looks over one of the busiest streets in this city. I have watched the action, panhandlers, young kids making quick deals and a few hookers who are somebody's daughter/sister/loved one...and rather than upsetting me, it made me grateful to no longer live in that world. I pray that one day my son can return to mine, but I just cannot walk into hell anymore to try to save that which is not mine to save.

So, all in all, I am doing well. I love my life today, even with its element of pain, and although I wouldn't wish my life on anyone...I wouldn't trade a day of it either because I wouldn't be in the good place of light I am in today without having walked through the darkness first.

God bless the moms, and God bless the child.

Love you all

helpus · 07-23-2008, 06:45 PM

All in all things are well. RAD has more than 14 months clean. I am just so very sad about the breakup of her & her RAF. I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't turn off my mind. (some due to lovely hormones) She started moving her stuff back here today. I want to talk to her fiance to let him know he is still welcome at our house & we still love & care about him. But I figure being hormonal & sleep deprived isn't the time to do it. RAD is doing very well. She is actually at a meeting right now. Just so sad right now. I know her HP has a different plan, but dang it is hard when you get attached to these kids.

cece · 07-23-2008, 06:56 PM

hi everyone!
I cherish these check-ins so Thanks Marle.

Glad to see so many recovery-in-progress stories. It gives such hope and faith to so many.
Many of you who know my story know I was having a hysterectomy July 10 and my son wanted to come down and stay and help. ( I felt there is a second motive). And I was struggling with the decision.
Well my hysterectomy was hard. Having a tough recovery for the first two weeks but can now see the light of recovery!.

But my AS did come down and has been a blessing. He has been taking good care of me. Never letting me do anything and taking care of the household. I'm not totally surprised as he has a very sweet nature when sober and can do anything for a short time. His other motive was to attend a Drug and Alcohol screening down here as a term of his Oregon Probation and then follow up on any recommendations. I am playing it day by day and he knows it. I have been up front that I will not take any behavior that causes me any stress right now. ( I shouldn't at anytime but especially now!).
He has been free from coke and Heroin for over a year but still smokes pot and drinks occasionally. He does neither of those while here. ( Like I said he can do anything for a short time.)
He tributes his recovery from cocaine and Heroin to his new found beliefs in his God. He believes his body is a temple and those drugs kill his temple so he doesn't feel the need to do them anymore. He is all about eating a healthy vegetarian diet. And shakes his head at my food choices but wisely keeps quiet. He still feels the need to smoke pot because it's a part of his religion. ( Rastafarian). Its not all bad and I am learning to accept this as a part of who he is right now. Although not the pot part. I still think he is addicted to it and using the religious aspect as a rationale. He is constantly reading and researching this. He checks out books constantly from the library. His beliefs are one of the reasons he needed to come down and take care of me, but I keep hoping his searches will lead him spiritually away from pot!
He is very spiritually at peace I must say, even if it is a little wacky to me(!) Jeez! Sigh.

If he follows his usual pattern, he'll get antsy soon so not so sure about his beginning, let alone finishing, that part of his probation down here. Although he went through all the trouble of getting permission from Oregon courts.

But...
One day at a time here. Today he is being a blessing to me as I didn't realize how tough this recovery would be. So Today I am enjoying his peaceful, enlightened, loving, self.
Just for Today! right?!
( He does make yummy soups and sandwiches even if they don't have meat!)

Cathy

helpus · 07-23-2008, 07:51 PM

Update, My RAD came home from her meeting & got a txt that one of her friends who has 18 months clean has been trying to get ahold of a dealer. My daughter is so tired after moving alot of her stuff here (the most she has done since her appendix was out a couple weeks ago) But she went to help. She grabed her work clothes for the morning & said she had to be there for Sarah, it's all parralell, & left. I'm proud she will be there.

Chino · 07-23-2008, 08:20 PM

peaceteach, you reminded me that my daughter was also on subs for three months, so she's not been actively using for over five months. Each day away from active addiction counts

lostparent · 07-23-2008, 08:44 PM

Still not sure if my daughter is an RAD or an AD. But she does at least for the moment have a job.Hasn't stole anything from us since getting out of jail. She also pays back any money she borrows. But on the other hand she is with a guy that she says is still using.
So I'm taking things one day at time.
On a happy note the baby is doing great an her big brother adores her.

07-23-2008, 03:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
*marle* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: East Tawas, MI Posts: 2,943	Time for another parent check-in I think it is time for another parent check-in. It has been a while and I have not seen some of our parents for a while. My daughter will have 60 days clean on Friday. She is still in the halfway house, comes home on weekends and seems to be working her program. I am nervous about her coming home but I will just take it as it comes. Hugs, Marle
	__________________ "If we all knew the answers, there would be no need for questions."

07-23-2008, 04:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
peaceteach Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 938	Thanks, Marle, for the opportunity to participate My son is still on suboxone for oxy addiction and wants to stay on it long term (?). He also has had some beers lately after being sober and clean from drugs for 3 months, and I'm kind of watching for a relapse, but it is his program, right? Like Rita says, "I have a no-no and will use it."
peaceteach Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 938	__________________ "Every time you don't follow your inner guidance, you feel a loss of energy, a loss of power, and a sense of spiritual deadness." - Shakti Gawain

07-23-2008, 06:41 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light... Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 14,623	It's great to hear the good news here, and even news like Rozied's with her son in jail is good in its own way, he's safer there than most places he might be. I haven't heard from my son in 4 years now, but each day I still give him to God to take care of and then live a good life knowing he's in good hands. Funny thing, this is the second week I have been in Toronto for a course (through work) and my lovely hotel room looks over one of the busiest streets in this city. I have watched the action, panhandlers, young kids making quick deals and a few hookers who are somebody's daughter/sister/loved one...and rather than upsetting me, it made me grateful to no longer live in that world. I pray that one day my son can return to mine, but I just cannot walk into hell anymore to try to save that which is not mine to save. So, all in all, I am doing well. I love my life today, even with its element of pain, and although I wouldn't wish my life on anyone...I wouldn't trade a day of it either because I wouldn't be in the good place of light I am in today without having walked through the darkness first. God bless the moms, and God bless the child. Love you all
	__________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal, there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

07-23-2008, 06:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
helpus Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Cloud 9 Posts: 700	All in all things are well. RAD has more than 14 months clean. I am just so very sad about the breakup of her & her RAF. I didn't sleep last night, I couldn't turn off my mind. (some due to lovely hormones) She started moving her stuff back here today. I want to talk to her fiance to let him know he is still welcome at our house & we still love & care about him. But I figure being hormonal & sleep deprived isn't the time to do it. RAD is doing very well. She is actually at a meeting right now. Just so sad right now. I know her HP has a different plan, but dang it is hard when you get attached to these kids.
	__________________ God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can ; and wisdom to know the difference.

07-23-2008, 06:56 PM	#11 (permalink)
cece Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: san diego, ca Posts: 392	hi everyone! I cherish these check-ins so Thanks Marle. Glad to see so many recovery-in-progress stories. It gives such hope and faith to so many. Many of you who know my story know I was having a hysterectomy July 10 and my son wanted to come down and stay and help. ( I felt there is a second motive). And I was struggling with the decision. Well my hysterectomy was hard. Having a tough recovery for the first two weeks but can now see the light of recovery!. But my AS did come down and has been a blessing. He has been taking good care of me. Never letting me do anything and taking care of the household. I'm not totally surprised as he has a very sweet nature when sober and can do anything for a short time. His other motive was to attend a Drug and Alcohol screening down here as a term of his Oregon Probation and then follow up on any recommendations. I am playing it day by day and he knows it. I have been up front that I will not take any behavior that causes me any stress right now. ( I shouldn't at anytime but especially now!). He has been free from coke and Heroin for over a year but still smokes pot and drinks occasionally. He does neither of those while here. ( Like I said he can do anything for a short time.) He tributes his recovery from cocaine and Heroin to his new found beliefs in his God. He believes his body is a temple and those drugs kill his temple so he doesn't feel the need to do them anymore. He is all about eating a healthy vegetarian diet. And shakes his head at my food choices but wisely keeps quiet. He still feels the need to smoke pot because it's a part of his religion. ( Rastafarian). Its not all bad and I am learning to accept this as a part of who he is right now. Although not the pot part. I still think he is addicted to it and using the religious aspect as a rationale. He is constantly reading and researching this. He checks out books constantly from the library. His beliefs are one of the reasons he needed to come down and take care of me, but I keep hoping his searches will lead him spiritually away from pot! He is very spiritually at peace I must say, even if it is a little wacky to me(!) Jeez! Sigh. If he follows his usual pattern, he'll get antsy soon so not so sure about his beginning, let alone finishing, that part of his probation down here. Although he went through all the trouble of getting permission from Oregon courts. But... One day at a time here. Today he is being a blessing to me as I didn't realize how tough this recovery would be. So Today I am enjoying his peaceful, enlightened, loving, self. Just for Today! right?! ( He does make yummy soups and sandwiches even if they don't have meat!) Cathy
	__________________ "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up."

07-23-2008, 03:32 PM	#2 (permalink)
rozied rozied Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: PA, USA Posts: 974	Oh Marle I am so happy your daughter has made 60 days clean. I will keep her in my prayers that her recovery lasts & lasts one day at a time. My son is bk in jail. From what I hear he may have to stay another 17mts until his sentence maxes out. They did give him a chance. They ok'd his parole for Sept 10th & sent him to wk release on June 27th. He had a fight with a co-wker after only 4 days on the job & was charged with Misconduct. That mandated him being sent bk to jail & it revoked his parole.

07-23-2008, 04:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
rahsue remember to breathe Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: philadelphia pa Posts: 1,118	Marle, such good news, and rozied, one of these days he'll be good, but for now at least he's clean. My son is clean and sober 6 months this month, I am so at peace now, I still have a worry or two expecially if he misses a meeting, but Life Is Good.

07-23-2008, 04:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
Chino Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: In a good place Posts: 566	As far as I know, my daughter is 60+ days clean but not sober so who knows what's next? I'm hands off and doing fine

07-23-2008, 04:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
BBD Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New York Posts: 504	Sounds like your all pretty lucky. Sober and clean kids. I'm worried about my son but thanks to all of you~~~I know what I have to do. Thanks~~and I'm guessing "No news is good news". Bonnie

07-23-2008, 06:25 PM	#7 (permalink)
painter Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Front Royal , Virginia Posts: 77	Have not heard from Ad for a month. Do not know if she is still using or where she is. She has not called about her children. But I do not have time to worry myself sick about her like I use to , to busy raising her two children.

07-23-2008, 06:34 PM	#8 (permalink)
BBD Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New York Posts: 504	Your a great Gramma Painter. Those kids are lucky to have you. I have grandkids also and I BET you are busy..Good luck and smiles, Bonnie

07-23-2008, 07:51 PM	#12 (permalink)
helpus Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Cloud 9 Posts: 700	Update, My RAD came home from her meeting & got a txt that one of her friends who has 18 months clean has been trying to get ahold of a dealer. My daughter is so tired after moving alot of her stuff here (the most she has done since her appendix was out a couple weeks ago) But she went to help. She grabed her work clothes for the morning & said she had to be there for Sarah, it's all parralell, & left. I'm proud she will be there.
	__________________ God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can ; and wisdom to know the difference.

07-23-2008, 08:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
Chino Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: In a good place Posts: 566	peaceteach, you reminded me that my daughter was also on subs for three months, so she's not been actively using for over five months. Each day away from active addiction counts

07-23-2008, 08:44 PM	#14 (permalink)
lostparent Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 444	Still not sure if my daughter is an RAD or an AD. But she does at least for the moment have a job.Hasn't stole anything from us since getting out of jail. She also pays back any money she borrows. But on the other hand she is with a guy that she says is still using. So I'm taking things one day at time. On a happy note the baby is doing great an her big brother adores her.
lostparent Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 444