OT - when the going gets rough

[Impurrfect]

Feeling a little bit stressed today.

Most of you know about the wreck I had in May, and found out my insurance had been cancelled because of nonpayment (the only payment of any kind I'd forgotten about in over a year ). Anyway, I got another car that I love, and things were going okay.

Just got a letter from the insurance company of the guy I hit...they want $1400. I knew this might come, and figured I would just make a payment arrangement, which the letter says they will (and charge interest).

My problem is, I still owe the $1600 in 4-year-old tickets in the town I used and they are locking people up for this. I'm 2 hours away, but still don't want this hanging over my head and want to get them paid. I HAD the money, until I wrecked and had to spend almost $500 to get my car out of the shop (still wrecked).

Work hasn't been busy enough to work extra shifts. I am making about $100/month LESS than that my bills are and gas for my car. These are basic bills...I don't spend money on hardly anything! I am paying for 2 credit card debts from years ago, have paid off a few creditors. I just don't see how I'm going to come up with any extra money for more payments.

On a good note, my dad had told me he would pay me for the trip where I wrecked my car, even though he had to come get me (I was making a delivery for him). He has been struggling with money, too, and I'd told him to just keep the money...it's just as important, to me, that HIS bills get paid since I live in HIS house!

He just came in and gave me the $240, and I hadn't even told him about the insurance company. With that and what I have saved, I may be able to pay most of the tickets off.

I'm looking for a better job, closer to home (driving 80 miles round trip is killing me with the gas), but it's not easy these days.

I'm NOT thinking about using...that's the last thing on my mind. I KNOW these are all consequences of my own doing, but sheez......I could use a break, ya know?!

I posted here, because you all have always helped me to see things I couldn't see for myself...even if it's just a reminder to have faith. I am very aware of the many blessings I have in life, and just reminding myself to put one foot in front of the other, and keep doing the right thing. The other thing that always helps me is to reach out to the people who support me....so here I am

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[Japic05]

Originally Posted by Impurrfect

I'm NOT thinking about using...that's the last thing on my mind.

Amy,

Just wanted you to know how beautiful those words are to me. As a wife and a mother of addicts/alcoholics - it breaks my heart when I see my loved ones struggle thru difficult times; it breaks my heart when I hear of your struggles. But as I was reading your post, and I read that sentence, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and tears of joy filled my eyes.

To have your reassurance that there is a place is in recovery that a recoverying A doesn't think about going back to the old behaviors makes my heart leap with joy, because it gives me hope that mine will truly someday find and embrace the solution that is available for them.

I pray that your HP will guide you to a way to ease your struggles, that He will pour out His Best Blessings on you for you and your life, according to His Perfect Plan.

Love & HUGS,
Rita

[JMFburns]

((Impurrfect))
I sure know how you're feeling. I've been trying to take on a 2nd job (PT) in addition to my FT job - I am fully aware that my enabling of my AS has gotten into the financial situation I am in. I am willing and capable of working a second job and pray to God that he will put that there if that is what's meant to be.

Somehow, I've managed to pay enough on my bills to keep the phone on, electricity on, a roof over my head and food in my belly. But sometimes I begin to panic that it isn't going to stretch . . . I remember to turn that fear to faith.

Hope things get better for you!

Joan

If it can't be easier Lord . . . help me to be stronger.

[Callie]

Impurrfect - I feel the same as you. Right now I am working massive amounts of hours to make up for AH, my house needs tended too, kids need more attention, my yard is a mess, my kids are being shuffled around because I don't have and can't afford a constant babysitter so I can go to work, so I am relying on family. Things are very stressed for me right now. AH continues using on and off and is not much help at all right now.

But you know what?? We're doing it. You are trying to right the wrongs you've done, you're putting one foot in front of the other to get things done, keep up with bills. You're digging deep in these troubled times to find the strength to proceed. In the end when things settle as far as your debts, when you find a different job, when I make it to the other side - in the end WE DID IT!

Hang in there girl - you've made it this far, in reality this is just a bump in the road considering the long road you've already traveled.

[helpus]

Amy, sorry everything is piling up at once, but you will manage just fine. Have you thought of waitressing as a second job? You can make some serious cash.

[Impurrfect]

helpus- that's actually what I'm already doing! The problem is, when gas prices started going up, people stopped eating out as much. For the hours I actually work, it's good money, most nights. I work 3rd shift in a 24-hour restaurant. I've applied to numerous other restaurants, but they just arent' hiring. Talked to a girl who had 10 years experience, on her 3rd interview with a restaurant and she said she'd been looking for months for a job.

I'm not against getting a 2nd server (waitress) job, but I have to admit..it's hard work, and I'm not getting any younger

[Callie]

Amy - I use to waitress while in College - have you thought about asking the restaurant that you work in for more hours hostessing, cooking or washing dishes? You're already established there, maybe they could give you more hours that way? Or have you thought about cleaning houses locally? Just something that popped into my head.

[krhea75]

You have added such sage advice to those on this site. I was impressed when I saw the struggles you are having and you are still giving from your experiences and your time. I know this is a crazy thought, but how about going back to school? Or maybe some type of training so that you could get a better job. Yeah I know, the stress of that could send you over the edge. or it could give you a plan.
krhea

[Done-With-It]

I don't blame you not wanting to get a 2nd waitressing job.
I was almost postal by the time I waited my last customer.
Your right it is a hard job. Doing two is a nightmare...

Have you thought about seeing if you can lower your payments
on something?
Or what about getting into something different?
I have heard from a lot of waiters here about the gas price
affecting their tips..

Have you also tried Craigs? Or th ought about adding osme
catering instead of a new 'waiting' tables job?

Or helping others do stuff is a great way to make money.
I'm not sure how big Craigs is where you live, but here
a lot of people make a living on it, and people are always
willing to pay people to do stuff for them..

I dunno, just a thought.

I'm NOT thinking about using...that's the last thing on my mind. I KNOW these are all consequences of my own doing, but sheez......I could use a break, ya know?!

It's great to get to this point, eh. I never really think about using when problems come about either, kind of seems odd I used to think about that
to solve problems.....
But it has taken almost 3 years for me to see some of the positive charma
of not using spill out into my life, kind of crazy eh...

Just remember it's all happening the way it is supposed to.
If you need more money now, there has to be a reason someone/thing is pushing you to go this route.....
Uncomfortable things/stess, etc. usually move us into a better place if we act on it.... eventually anway.. lol,

JMO..

[Chino]

You're stressed, you have problems and you're facing them. You will find a solution because you've become the person you were meant to be. And I'm so happy for you! I will say prayers for a workable solution and your ongoing beautiful recovery

[anvilhead]

we got your back, babe!!! i cannot think of a person i would feel more confident about working thru this stuff than YOU!!! you are a solution seeker and one tough cookie. AND it's ok to feel a tad overwhelmed from time to time!!!! some days it's like Holy Sh*T, enough already!!! i "try" to see it as the Universe having more faith in my abilities than i do.........i think ya need some of this......

[Ann]

A credit counsellor may be able to help you, and there are many good ones who charge nothing. Make a list of all your debts and then also make a list of a workable budget showing every dime you make and what you must pay out for necessities such as rent and food and car costs.

If I read you right, your expenses exceed what you make. If you have included payments to creditors then they can be contacted and asked to waive interest while you make a payment arrangement you can afford. When I used to help clients with this, I would tell the creditors that my client was trying to avoid filing for bankruptcy (which would mean they get nothing) and that seemed to catch their attention. Creditors will often make a deal if they know you are trying. This may mean giving up your credit cards for now, but that's a pretty good idea anyway, and then just having one for emergencies later.

Check around and see if there are any credit counsellors who can help you. It's better to have someone like that involved and it makes your request appear (and rightly so) as if you are doing the best you can and getting help to meet your debt.

Filing bankruptcy is not an awful thing either, especially if your credit rating is already not so good. It would totally eliminate most debt and give you a chance to start over. It also give you a head start in rebuilding your credit, just by paying bills on time. A Trustee in Bankruptcy can help you without charge for the initial consultation, and then if they take on the bankruptcy they charge only a small amount and often let you spread the payments over one year.

It's awful to be over your head in debt or expenses and just tucking away pride and reaching out for help may be the answer you need to resolve this.

Good luck.

Hugs

[caileesnana]

Hey Amy!

I'm glad you are doing well and handling all the crap that has come your way. The economy is so bad all over, lots of folks loosing jobs or hours.

Just keep doing what you do, the next right thing. Things have a way of working out when you are doing that!

I think of you often and will say an extra prayer for you. Something good is coming your way!

Love ya friend,
susan

[Abundance]

Hey Amy!!!

"when the going gets tough/rough...... the TOUGH gets going!" And I think you are an experienced and strong person..... and are using all the tools you have learned to help you get through this.

I was thinking about the debt for tickets..... have you gone to the courts to get them lowered? Or what about making monthly payments?

Sometimes debtors are good about lowering monthly payments for awhile that times are hard??

I like the idea of Craigs list too.... my brother and nephew have used it a lot... usually selling things. Or buying low and selling it later higher.....
(to be frank, I don't have the patience or the interest in doing it, but maybe you will?)

I actually don't feel right even giving you advice, because I think you'll know how to get through this... but I just wanted you to know I was thinking about ya!

It's wonderful that you are not looking at using as a quick fix..... that you are able to play that tape all the way through. That gives so many of us hope!

I like Done's response in regards to this being a motivating factor in the form of 'change' in regards to your finances.... it's interesting to me how we get forced into these changes without consciously asking for them!

Best of luck Amy... please keep us posted........ I'll be thinking of you

[greeteachday]

Hey Amy...lots of oggod thoughts here..I sure do hope you can find a job closer...can't imagine what you are paying in gas! All I can add is hugs and lots of prayers. I know you will get through this...you rock!!