I'm their Grandmother - But Mother to my Grandkids - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Charlene · 01-09-2008, 03:42 PM

Wow.... the last two year have been tough. My daughter's parental rights were removed from her due to her drug addiction. The three little one's (10 mo, 1 yr and 3 yrs at the time of removal) were given to me. They are wards of the court and placed with us as foster children. It looks like adoption is the only way I can keep them together and with family. So I will become mother to my grandkids and raise them.

My daughter's drug of choice... Meth.

I know all things work togeher for good and I was wondering if there is anyone else who is going thru or who has been thru the same thing?

:praying

ladybug81 · 01-09-2008, 03:56 PM

Well, I haven't been through the exact same situation, but I can tell you a little about what I've been through. My mother and father had me at an early age. My father ended up moving away and my mother drank all the time. I lived with my grandmother since the day I was born. Even though I was never adopted by her, she was basically like my mother. I knew who my mother was and she came around occasionally. Anyway, now that I am older, my mother has quit drinking and she is starting to be "like a mother" to me. We will never have a real mother/daughter relationship, but we are good friends.

Charlene · 01-09-2008, 04:13 PM

Thanks for sharing, I hope that my daughter can one day have a relationship with her children. It has been a painfull experience watching my daughter deterioate, but I am committed to my grandchildren and I hope that they will understand when they get older.

ladybug81 · 01-09-2008, 04:21 PM

It's a really difficult situation and I was confused when I was little. But now that I'm an adult, I realize it was for the better and my life would have been a lot harder if I hadn't lived with my grandmother. I love my grandma for all she has done for me and sacrificed for me and I'm sure your grandchildren will feel the same when they are old enough to understand.

puddinface · 01-09-2008, 07:59 PM

Charlene..I too, am mother to my 4 year old grandson. My son gained full custody of him when his mother gave him up to be with her boyfriend. He has been with me two years now. I have never felt such great love as I do from this little boy. And the feeling I get just knowing that he is in a stable, safe, loving environment with us overjoys me. I have to be a support system to my son (as he is a young father) and am doing what I know is right for the baby. He is happy and smart as a whip. I don't regret playing the mommy role again at all!! He knows I am grandma but I treat him as if he were my own. I love him too much. Best of luck to you and your babies.

Miss Pink · 01-10-2008, 05:41 AM

my sons father has abandoned him.....3 yrs now.

addiction destroys. Im sorry for you and the kids...but they have a new hero in their life.

YOU!!!!!!!!!!

rahsue · 01-10-2008, 06:24 AM

I tip my hats to you grandmothers stepping up. I don't think I could handle my little grandsons (1 and 4) they wear me down when I babysit, the thought of raising babies again would scare the crap out of me. But I guess we do what we have to and if the time came I'm sure I would do the same.

Charlene · 01-14-2008, 07:56 PM

Thank you all so much for your input. I has been a difficult and tiring two years and we are just now all feeling like we know our place in our newly formed family.

My grandchildren are just about to turn 6, 4 and 3... male, female, female. I find myself at 45 to be tired out daily but somehow I regain the strength to continue each day. The passing of the holidays was difficult for me as my estranged daughter (and her bday is this month... she'll be 27) and I do not speak much and she lives in another state. I am dealing with a lot of emotions as you all would expect. I feel as if I have buried one of my children and am grateful that somehow I have been able to keep my grandchildren with me and together.

Well there is so much more I would like to share with you but it is just so much to put into one post. Thank you for all of your thoughts and words of encouragement. I look forward to hearing from you again.

BBD · 01-14-2008, 08:12 PM

Hi Charlene, I command you for what your doing. Who wouldn't step up to the plate and raise their lil grandbabies. Your still young hon and those kids need a good family life. Your gonna do that and in the meantime you'll be getting so much love from them. I'm sorry your daughter has hurt you so much but we're all living with that.....damn drugs~!! Hugs, Bonnie

havehope · 01-14-2008, 08:13 PM

Hugs and Gratitude to all of you moms/grandmoms who are raising these children. Thank God they have you in their lives.

rmarion · 01-14-2008, 08:15 PM

charlene

your doing the right things.......

now get up, eat better, get healthly and run those little dudes/dudetts in the ground... being the strongest/healthiest Grandma around.........

BTW, 45 is YOUNG!!!!!!!!!!

01-09-2008, 03:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
Charlene Every day is a good day! Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 37	I'm their Grandmother - But Mother to my Grandkids Wow.... the last two year have been tough. My daughter's parental rights were removed from her due to her drug addiction. The three little one's (10 mo, 1 yr and 3 yrs at the time of removal) were given to me. They are wards of the court and placed with us as foster children. It looks like adoption is the only way I can keep them together and with family. So I will become mother to my grandkids and raise them. My daughter's drug of choice... Meth. I know all things work togeher for good and I was wondering if there is anyone else who is going thru or who has been thru the same thing? :praying __________________ What's REALLY going On???? Charlene aka littlemisssmartypants Las Vegas, NV !:so

01-09-2008, 04:13 PM	#3 (permalink)
Charlene Every day is a good day! Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 37	Thanks for sharing, I hope that my daughter can one day have a relationship with her children. It has been a painfull experience watching my daughter deterioate, but I am committed to my grandchildren and I hope that they will understand when they get older. __________________ What's REALLY going On???? Charlene aka littlemisssmartypants Las Vegas, NV !:so

01-09-2008, 07:59 PM	#5 (permalink)
puddinface Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: New York Posts: 203	Charlene..I too, am mother to my 4 year old grandson. My son gained full custody of him when his mother gave him up to be with her boyfriend. He has been with me two years now. I have never felt such great love as I do from this little boy. And the feeling I get just knowing that he is in a stable, safe, loving environment with us overjoys me. I have to be a support system to my son (as he is a young father) and am doing what I know is right for the baby. He is happy and smart as a whip. I don't regret playing the mommy role again at all!! He knows I am grandma but I treat him as if he were my own. I love him too much. Best of luck to you and your babies. __________________ Puddinface

01-14-2008, 07:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Charlene Every day is a good day! Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 37	Thank you all so much for your input. I has been a difficult and tiring two years and we are just now all feeling like we know our place in our newly formed family. My grandchildren are just about to turn 6, 4 and 3... male, female, female. I find myself at 45 to be tired out daily but somehow I regain the strength to continue each day. The passing of the holidays was difficult for me as my estranged daughter (and her bday is this month... she'll be 27) and I do not speak much and she lives in another state. I am dealing with a lot of emotions as you all would expect. I feel as if I have buried one of my children and am grateful that somehow I have been able to keep my grandchildren with me and together. Well there is so much more I would like to share with you but it is just so much to put into one post. Thank you for all of your thoughts and words of encouragement. I look forward to hearing from you again. __________________ What's REALLY going On???? Charlene aka littlemisssmartypants Las Vegas, NV !:so

01-14-2008, 08:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
havehope Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: tn Posts: 639	Hugs and Gratitude to all of you moms/grandmoms who are raising these children. Thank God they have you in their lives. __________________ Terri _____________________________________________ "No" is a complete sentence.

01-09-2008, 03:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
ladybug81 Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: OH Posts: 20	Well, I haven't been through the exact same situation, but I can tell you a little about what I've been through. My mother and father had me at an early age. My father ended up moving away and my mother drank all the time. I lived with my grandmother since the day I was born. Even though I was never adopted by her, she was basically like my mother. I knew who my mother was and she came around occasionally. Anyway, now that I am older, my mother has quit drinking and she is starting to be "like a mother" to me. We will never have a real mother/daughter relationship, but we are good friends.

01-09-2008, 04:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
ladybug81 Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: OH Posts: 20	It's a really difficult situation and I was confused when I was little. But now that I'm an adult, I realize it was for the better and my life would have been a lot harder if I hadn't lived with my grandmother. I love my grandma for all she has done for me and sacrificed for me and I'm sure your grandchildren will feel the same when they are old enough to understand.

01-10-2008, 05:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
Miss Pink Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Right here somewhere Posts: 509	my sons father has abandoned him.....3 yrs now. addiction destroys. Im sorry for you and the kids...but they have a new hero in their life. YOU!!!!!!!!!!

01-10-2008, 06:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
rahsue remember to breathe Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: philadelphia pa Posts: 1,266	I tip my hats to you grandmothers stepping up. I don't think I could handle my little grandsons (1 and 4) they wear me down when I babysit, the thought of raising babies again would scare the crap out of me. But I guess we do what we have to and if the time came I'm sure I would do the same.

01-14-2008, 08:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
BBD Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in my own world~ Posts: 1,241	Hi Charlene, I command you for what your doing. Who wouldn't step up to the plate and raise their lil grandbabies. Your still young hon and those kids need a good family life. Your gonna do that and in the meantime you'll be getting so much love from them. I'm sorry your daughter has hurt you so much but we're all living with that.....damn drugs~!! Hugs, Bonnie

01-14-2008, 08:15 PM	#11 (permalink)
rmarion Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 7	charlene your doing the right things....... now get up, eat better, get healthly and run those little dudes/dudetts in the ground... being the strongest/healthiest Grandma around......... BTW, 45 is YOUNG!!!!!!!!!!

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