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|12-23-2007, 10:00 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Kicked out of sober recovery house....
My 17 year old AS called tonight and he is getting kicked out of the oxford house for taking someone's prescription paxil. He told me the guy in the house gave it to him. The president of the house told me he took it from one of the house members. The conditions by the court are that if he doesn't finish his time there successfully he will go to jail. He was crying at first, but then seemed a bit better later. His dad, my ex, will go get him tomorrow. As far as jail is concerned, maybe it is the best thing. I feel like such a traitor as a mom to say this. But he just keeps getting by with things, and he never learns his lesson.
When he called me later, I had been crying and he could tell. I told him that maybe jail is the best thing for him.....to make him think. He got really angry and said, but i'm not using! I'm not doing anything illegal. Sigh....he still doesn't get it. My question is, if the court has ordered rehab an a recovery home as conditions of his treatment, and he made it through 2 months of rehab and 3 months of sober recovery, will they still send him to jail? And how long? I know that you all probably don't know the answer to the questions, but these are the questions plaguing me now. So much for a merry christmas. Any thoughts?
|12-23-2007, 10:01 PM||#2 (permalink)|
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
I don't have any idea, but I send you prayers and hugs!
"The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place."-Barbara Deangelis
|12-23-2007, 10:27 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: New Jersey
I join you with the "sigh... he still doesnt get it." You aren't a bad mother at all for saying maybe jail will bring him some insight. You are a mother who loves her son and whose life has been so torn apart by addiction, that you will wish for anything (even him going to jail) if it meant he would finally "get it." I am so sorry your Christmas will be tainted and I understand. WHen I hear my brother say certain things I breathe the same long sigh and wonder when he'll truley "get it." My pray is that YOU can enjoy the other people in your life this Christmas who do get it...... Take care of yourself...
|12-23-2007, 10:36 PM||#4 (permalink)|
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
It is out of your hands. The let down of him not suceeding at Oxford is another disapp. for both of you. From your posts it seemed like only a matter of time 'til this would happen. My son got fired.kicked out of everywhere and he always minimized and never took full respson.
His version of the truth was never accurate.
Sorry to hear of another let down. Remember, it is out of your hands.
If tears could build a stairway I'd walk up to Heaven and bring my son home.
|12-23-2007, 10:47 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
He got out while brother stays another 4 years. He got out and did very well for 9 months. He had 5000.00 saved! All of a sudden, he got addicted to drugs and alcohol and blew every single cent in 2 weeks.
He was on probation. His prob officer took him in cuz he couldn't pass a pee test. If he hadn't gone back to jail, he'd probably be dead right now.
Traitor or not, he's alive now thanks to the stint in jail.
He spent another 4 months inside.
Right before he went back in, he tried out a rehab. This place was FREE for 3 months. They have RULES. He broke a rule and they threw him out! Literally out on the street. Unfortunately for him, the "street" was a dirt road out in the country. I didn't go pick him up either. He waited around till someone came by, a pastor, and got a ride.
He made up all kind of excuses as to how it wasn't his fault. I told him that others made it through with no incedents. How is it that you are the only one who can't seem to follow rules?
So darn hard headed! Ok, then, go ahead and suffer the consequences of your actions!
My oldest has been in a halfway house since he got out this last time. He's doing well now. But, again, if he hadn't gone back in and gotten away from the drugs, he'd be dead today.
In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down.
- Brian Weir
|12-24-2007, 01:52 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Social Network Moderator
Join Date: Sep 2007
So sorry that you are going through this and that he just doesn't get it yet. It really is up to a judge as to what they will do. I have a feeling he will be spending time in jail, but it sounds like that's what he needs. It seems we A's have to learn everything the hard way. Hopefully, he will soon realize that the consequences just aren't worth breaking the rules.
Hugs and prayers!
"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer
"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain
(Tinker, Elvis [RIP], Patches [RIP] and Mots - Mouth Of The South)
|12-24-2007, 02:36 AM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Stealing, or even taking someone's prescription medication is against the law. Even if they gave it to you. I hope you pointed this out to him.
Other than that I agree jail may be the best for him.
Please remember to take care of yourself first.
It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation
Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".
|12-24-2007, 05:59 AM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2005
I am so sorry you are going through this
from your previous posts, it seemed your son was not quite ready to do the serious work of recovery
mom to mom...I know how hard it is for you....
it is such a sad situation when a mom prays for jail time for her son but it may be the answer....
is it possible for him to be in a more restricted program....(Day Top...Phoenix House etc...)....I know for my son it was essential that he have structure and limitations....he has still never had permission for an overnight or even more than a few hours to visit....he will need to be really ready before he is granted that privilege....he does work but is required to be "home" for dinner and evening meetings
I will keep you in my prayers this Christmas
|12-24-2007, 06:24 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Khrea, I'm sorry this is happening but you are not a traitor to him...You're a mom who cares. He will not get it no matter what you say until he is truly ready to get it.
As to jail, you're right, no one knows...But I believe that he is going to be placed right where his Higher Power needs him to be. One more thing we can't control...Sending mom to mom hugs and lots of prayers.
Be strong, but not rude; Be kind, but not weak; Be bold, but not bully; Be humble, but not timid; Be proud, but not arrogant.
|12-24-2007, 07:27 AM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Thanks all, your support is so important to me. I feel a bit more grounded today after a night's sleep. Whatever happens, happens. I am going to try to take your advice and just enjoy the people in my life who are there to support me.
|12-24-2007, 07:28 AM||#13 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Sending hugs and prayers your way. Not much else you can do at this point. His HP has him. You can just love him. Hugs, Marle
"If we all knew the answers, there would be no need for questions."
|12-24-2007, 07:45 AM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Newark New Jersey
|12-24-2007, 11:47 AM||#17 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: North Royalton, Ohio
After dealing with my 2 addict sons, I think of jail as a happy place.
It gives me piece of mind.
Have somewhere warm to sleep.
Most of my most restful nights have been when they're in jail.
Try not to look into the future, he may not even have to go, who knows?
I also do that alot, always worrying about what could happen. It's a waste of our good energy.
Hugs to you.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
|12-24-2007, 11:56 AM||#18 (permalink)|
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
(((Moose))) Thank you - I don't think I could say it better.
(((krhea))) HP has your son already, He knows where this path will lead... and His solutions are always far better (and more difficult!) than any *I* can devise.
Your son will get what he NEEDS... and we can't anticipate what that may be. Perhas there is someone he needs to meet, something he needs to hear... HP will get him to the right place - at exactly the right time.
During the holidays, it is difficult for me to get to my face to face meetings - but when I do, I realize that I should be INCREASING them, rather than skipping them...
Wishing you the best day you can have. (((hugs)))
No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless....
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