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Old 11-18-2007, 01:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Drug Use and Cheating

Why does drug use and cheating go hand in hand. I went to an Al-anon meeting and they just talk like it is a given. That if someone is using drugs, they are having sex with many different people.

What makes someone want to have sex with a lot of different people if they are using drugs. I also heard the word drug whores. I didn't hear that in the meeting, but I have heard the expression.

Can someone enlighten me on how that works? I can understand the lying because they are trying to cover up things that they are doing or have done, but I don't understand all the sex. Personally, I don't see how they can do it when they are so wasted.
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Old 11-18-2007, 01:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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some drugs make some people hyper-sexual. Some people also trade sexual favors for drugs when they have run out of money.
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Thank you raerae6. I think I understand now.
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:27 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Glad I could help...I might add that for instance-cocaine and meth make some people very sexually stimulated....but for others these same drugs will kill the sex drive.

I'm not sure how other drugs affect sexual feelings, but those 2 are pretty well known for having this effect. Of course alcohol is notorious for decreasing inhibitions....
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:31 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I think, in the case of my XABF, he cheated because it made him feel like a "real" man to have two women (or more for all I know). What he did to make him feel good left me with the feeling of being violated.

As to drug Whores.. well I have heard it said that a girl never pays for drugs at a party (at least not with cash).
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:44 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I have seen girls beg a guy to exchange a sexual favor for a tiny crumb of crack. I have seen them get turned down, too. There are crack addicted hookers in my neighborhood who are so desparate they charge only $5.00 for sex. Thanks to that, any woman walking alone down my street is solicited for prostitution-usually by men in brand new SUV's...who do not live in the area....

It's a sad state of affairs.
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Last edited by raerae6; 11-18-2007 at 04:05 PM.
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Old 11-18-2007, 05:21 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thanks you guys. Yes, cocaine and meth is what he used and definitely alcohol. He use to brag about how many girlfriends he had. He thought he was really hot. That he was a real Romeo and all the girls wanted him.

He's a little skinny cocaine addict that thinks he such a ladies man. He had about 20women's names in his cell phone that would call him all the time. He would always have to go outside to take the call. I just don't get it.

Elana, it just makes me feel very violated too. You guys told me pretty much what I thought.
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Old 11-18-2007, 06:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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My RAH says that using crack always made him hypersexual and desiring aberrant and kinky sex. He wasn't always able to perform and complete the act but that didn't matter to him. For him, crack was a very sexual drug. I have heard other people say that that wasn't the case for them. Also, RAH said that when he was using crack he didn't like to be alone and it was always easy to find a crack using woman to participate with him. They wanted the crack and didn't care what they had to do to get it. I've heard that meth is an even more sexual drug than crack - and that you can actually perform on that one. Many many addicts and alcoholics also have a concurrent sexual addiction - it is just as progressive and who knows which came first?

People in active addiction are possessed by demons. Take good care of yourself and try not to take ANY of it personally - it is not a reflection on you or your worthiness.

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Old 11-18-2007, 07:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Donna, thanks for your post. He told me one time that he thought women that used meth were some of the sexiest women he had ever seen. He said that most super models use meth and that is how they stay so thin. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. That really disgusted me.

His ex-wife was a meth user and his mother and sister told me she was really skinny and really ugly. So, no I won't take it personally. But it does hurt when someone says those things to you. He knows I've never used drugs in my life.

Very interesting what you said about sexual addiction. I never even thought about that!
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Old 11-18-2007, 07:18 PM   #10 (permalink)
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[Quote: ]"He told me one time that he thought women that used meth were some of the sexiest women he had ever seen" [Quote]

OMG
meth probably destroys a person's looks more than any other drug!!!!!!!!!!!!

It rots the teeth, they get sores all over from picking at thier skin, and so on....

Take a look....http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugI...ces/index.html
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Old 11-18-2007, 07:26 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Wow! That website is totally unbelievable! He has got to be out of his mind. Thanks
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks you guys. Yes, cocaine and meth is what he used and definitely alcohol. He use to brag about how many girlfriends he had. He thought he was really hot. That he was a real Romeo and all the girls wanted him.

He's a little skinny cocaine addict that thinks he such a ladies man. He had about 20women's names in his cell phone that would call him all the time. He would always have to go outside to take the call. I just don't get it.

Elana, it just makes me feel very violated too. You guys told me pretty much what I thought.
That is so my x-roommate!! Once he started mixing coke and meth, he got addicted to sex in such a weird weird way. He sounds very much like you described, skinny, thought he was all that.
Mixing coke & meth for him ended up to be very bad. He lost it.
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by raerae6 View Post
Glad I could help...I might add that for instance-cocaine and meth make some people very sexually stimulated....but for others these same drugs will kill the sex drive.

I'm not sure how other drugs affect sexual feelings, but those 2 are pretty well known for having this effect. Of course alcohol is notorious for decreasing inhibitions....
then why is it that young adults (I notice this more in females) seem to get EXTERMELY horny when drunk
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=raerae6;1569932][Quote: ]"He told me one time that he thought women that used meth were some of the sexiest women he had ever seen"
Quote:

OMG
meth probably destroys a person's looks more than any other drug!!!!!!!!!!!!

It rots the teeth, they get sores all over from picking at thier skin, and so on....

Take a look....http://www.drugfree.org/Portal/DrugI...ces/index.html
some of these people are not good looking to begin with
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:04 AM   #15 (permalink)
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[QUOTE=THE KING;1570079]
Quote:
Originally Posted by raerae6 View Post
[Quote: ]"He told me one time that he thought women that used meth were some of the sexiest women he had ever seen"

some of these people are not good looking to begin with

The point is how meth destroys your looks, mind, and body,
not about how 'good' looking they are.
Comments like that are uncalled for, people in recovery
deserve respect, You don't know who is a member on
this board, and/or who is reading this board.
One of them or their family members could be a member.
We are here to build each other up, not tear anyone down.
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Old 11-19-2007, 05:17 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Done-With-It, I don't know how to copy and paste your quote, but I'm curious as to exactly what you mean by your roommate lost it?
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Old 11-19-2007, 09:45 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Done-With-It, I don't know how to copy and paste your quote, but I'm curious as to exactly what you mean by your roommate lost it?
Well, we were both doing meth, he was the one who intro'd me to my dealer.
But he was doing a lot more than me.

He got violent fast, he started doing little things like slamming doors, when he'd get home from work, (at like 5-6 am) to wake us all up, then he'd get 'really' mad at me for whatever reason, and barge into my room up for a fight about whatever, then he'd do weird stuff like, move our other roommates bed into the living room out of the blue, he'd call me from our house from his cell phone like 20-30's a night, he'd go down the the internet cafe and write me emails saying he was going to sue me, he thought I had turned the whole building against him and was convinced we had planted cameras in our apartment and we were taping him sleeping and his conversation, he yell at me about how all of this was MY fault about how I ruined his life, his career, I did this, and that..

Yet, he knew I hadn't touched speed in years cuz I liked it too much, and he came home one day and was like GUESS WHAT, I found some real stuff for you, I brought you some ICE... and intro'd me to the dealer, but I ruined his life.

He would send me text messages saying I was the devil and if I was laying in a ditch being gang raped he's spit on me, it was horrible... a lot more stuff like that, my other roommates were too afraid too come home, so they just didn't.

This was a guy who 3 months earlier was like my brother, one of the best friends I'd ever had, for 8-9 years. We did everything together.

He flipped out on me when I kicked him out, it was horrible. To this day he still hates me, and says it's my fault, I ruined his life, 10 states away, I ruined his life and his career. He's not an addict and he doesn't use, it's all my fault.
I'm sure if he could he would probably hurt me, cuz he hates me so bad....
He was even close to my parents, spent Christmas's with us.

I talk to his brother sometimes and I guess he's doing the same thing still..
It was all kind of traumatic.
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Old 11-19-2007, 11:35 AM   #18 (permalink)
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then why is it that young adults (I notice this more in females) seem to get EXTERMELY horny when drunk
I said that alcohol is notorious for lowering inhibitions....meaning that-like you said-many people will be more likely to act out sexually (become more horney) when they are drunk....
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Old 11-19-2007, 04:47 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Wow Done-With-It, he really did flip out. What a shame. Good thing for you that he did move to another state. Thanks for letting me know what can happen.

I just spoke to my ABF this afternoon. I haven't spoken to him since last Wed. and I haven't seen him since the Thurs. before that. So since I've seen him last, he has been in jail and had his car stolen by a drug *****.

I asked him where he was last weekend and he said he was tracking down his car. I told him I didn't like the fact that he is around these drug chicks and he said they swarm to him like flys. That could only mean that he has drugs. Would I be correct in saying that?

He hangs out with his sister who is a very serious alcoholic. She can't even work or drive. She just drinks all day and she does sexual favors for xanax. Even sex with couples (a man and a woman). So when he goes to see her, there are always a lot of drug addicts and alcoholics there.

I told him I couldn't see him anymore if this is the kind of company he is going to keep. He says that he is not doing anything wrong. What does it take to get through to this guy that I can't accept him hanging out with drug whores and passing out and getting his car stolen by them. I'm sick of this. When I try to tell him, it is in one ear and out the other.
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Old 11-19-2007, 04:55 PM   #20 (permalink)
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GoodKarma,

Why are you telling him anything?

I'm so sorry. You can't change him, and you can't control his choices, and you can't make him have values like yours.

You can only decide if you want to spend your life with someone like him or not (doing drugs, hanging out with whores and dealers and alcoholics, "losing" cars, going to jail, making excuses, lying, exposing himself to HIV, etc.) It really is that simple. You keep trying to change him, make him "see the light" ......Is that the best you are willing to give yourself? This is the life you envisioned when you were a little girl? This is your dream man?

Sorry, I don't mean that like it sounds. I didn't start feeling sane & healthy again until I asked myself that.....my alcoholic, drug addict, unfaithful, lying, abusive X...."this is my dream guy, huh?" Finally I stopped trying to make my X into the person I wanted him to be. Think about cutting these lovely little chats with him short, letting him take the consequences of his choices, and focusing on what you want YOUR life to be like instead....just my two cents. You deserve a lot better than that dreadful stuff....

Hugs,
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