Manipulating....a good way with good end results! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

TrishaV · 10-05-2007, 09:45 AM

My grandson came to me last weekend and wanted to know why his mom isn't around. He said, grandma, you have your mom...why can't I have mine. Well, I decided to take this route:

I told him that there are lots of things that grow up without a mommy. Dogs are a good example...their mommy's have them but then they are given to other people to raise and love them. Of course, that led into talking about cows, goats, horses..etc..I think we touched on every flipping farm animal there was. (LOL)

Anyhow, we had been talking about getting a puppy but had been putting it off until we all had a little more control of our lives. Of course, my husband beleives that two large dogs in a 5 bedroom house was enough...(not sure what he was thinking). Anyhow, I told him that we needed to get a puppy that may help my grandson get over thinking that he is the only thing that is without a mommy. IT WORKED!!!

We drove 4 1/2 hours to look at and select a puppy. This little guy is adorable (photo below). When we got him back home..he was whinning...and..my grandson asked..grandma what's wrong with him..I told him that he misses his mommy..but...with all the love that we are going to give him...he will be fine!! IT WORKED TOO!!! The puppy kept us up all night (not the grandson)..but..i think this is showing him that it is okay to miss your mommy...and...feel safe and secure with the people who love you!!

**BigSis** · 10-05-2007, 10:41 AM

Awwwww..... both sound like cuties. Good analogy - something he could understand.

((hugs))

BrokenBridges24 · 10-05-2007, 11:03 AM

Awww the puppy is so cute. Great idea!!

caileesnana · 10-05-2007, 11:06 AM

Good idea! Glad he is doing so good.
susan

ctrom40 · 10-05-2007, 11:52 AM

Great analogy Trisha,

Cute puppy, I want one tooooo!!!!!!

If I have one of those throw myself on the Walmart floor and have a tantrum
can I pallllleeeese have a new puppy..... can I huh, can I...
I promise to take care of it...

My husband says no to another dog too.
He thinks our 75 pound "RottenLab"... is enough.

Give you grandson and new puppy a hug for me,
Colleen

TrishaV · 10-05-2007, 11:56 AM

Let me tell you...I would have every dog in the world if it weren't for my husband telling me no. I have wanted a puppy for some time now ...and..he had his mind set..that we weren't getting anymore dogs. We currently have a german shepard and a labmation (lab + dalmation) and...he thought that was enough. I tried every trick in the book make he agree that we needed another puppy...and..It didn't work! Until...now!! Although...after he heard the comments that my grandson was making..I think ..i hope he is happy that we got the puppy!!

Hummm...doesn't temper tantrums get you put in time out?? If not..and..they get you a puppy..I should have thrown one months ago!! LOL

***greeteachday*** · 10-05-2007, 09:42 PM

What a great share...The puppy is adorable and aren't you a wonderful grandmom to help your grandson to understand and feel the love you have for him. Hugs

Lobo · 10-05-2007, 10:06 PM

That is the most adorable puppy. What did you name it? And you are the most adorable gramma.

***marle*** · 10-06-2007, 04:49 AM

That is an adorable puppy. And don't worry, I have 5 dogs and only two bedrooms

Hugs and enjoy the puppy breath (the greatest smell in the world), Marle

sobercuse · 10-06-2007, 05:41 AM

That's a good story Trish, thanks.
I have my 3 year old Grand daughter here for the long weekend. She comes here one weekend a month.

I tried to get custody, but her Mother let custody go to the Aunt.
I'm still saddened by the whole darn mess. AS is sitting in jail, and his AGF is in jail too.

The disease of addiction has run rampant through the lives of me and my loved ones.

It's a difficult subject to talk about where Mama and Daddy are right now. It's very difficult. We say prayers and we bless them and everyone that we love. They need help and we need help too. We help each other................one day at a time, every thing's gonna be alright.

A new day is here, and my goal today is to be grateful for each moment.
We have a couple of pups too. We enjoy taking them for walks in the woods.

frankie_b · 10-06-2007, 06:21 AM

Your story warms my heart. You, Grandma Trisha have given grandson a beautiful lesson in the meaning of love.
Hugs

Easeful · 10-06-2007, 08:47 AM

Adorable pup! What kind is it? I hope he helps your grandson adjust to all the changes in his young life.

rahsue · 10-07-2007, 01:37 AM

you are one smart cookie
best of luck

bookmiser · 10-07-2007, 08:29 AM

Trisha,

I think your one great grandma, too.
What a great story to share.
Big hugs and lots of prayers to you
and your family. Special hugs to the
boy with the new puppy.

TrishaV · 10-08-2007, 05:45 AM

Thank you all for such a great response. I have been having a difficult time answering my grandsons questions and I always try to find a way that makes things easy for him to understand.

For those inquiring about the puppy....He name is Kadin Alibi. The family choose Kadin because it was easy for everyone to remember....We have a Jade (lab-mation), Jadyn (my grandaughter), Kadin (new pup) and Cada (aka Cacadia) german shepard. We selected Alibi because look at his face...he has that "I didn't do it look to him. Anyhow...he is a Shar-pei Lab mix that is just too adorable. The only problem I have now is my grandson wants the puppy to sleep with him..but..unfortunately...we are working with my grandson because he still wets the bed and of course the puppy misses his family and whines a lot during the night. We told my grandson...the puppy can't sleep with him because he is still having accidents...like my grandson...this went really well!! As a matter of fact this was the first time in a year and a half that my grandson didn't pee the bed (saturday)!! Yay!! I am jut making all kinds of progress!!

Again, thank you all for your wonderful responses!!

pjbs55 · 10-08-2007, 07:30 AM

Trish,
Your grandson is a lucky little boy. He has someone to really love him at this time in his life, and who cares about his feelings. I hope the puppy does the trick and see that he can love something and have love given back to him.

**CatsPajamas** · 10-08-2007, 07:43 AM

This just really touched my heart. Pups are SUCH a good way to teach kids about so many things... and you have opened my eyes to a few more!

Welcome to the family, Kadin. Jack and Cocoa (co-dependent dogs) send their love.

(There should be a cute pic of my 2 dogs here but I can't get it to load and don't have time to mess with it right now.)

Cats

10-05-2007, 09:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
TrishaV Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Falling Waters, WV Posts: 150	Manipulating....a good way with good end results! My grandson came to me last weekend and wanted to know why his mom isn't around. He said, grandma, you have your mom...why can't I have mine. Well, I decided to take this route: I told him that there are lots of things that grow up without a mommy. Dogs are a good example...their mommy's have them but then they are given to other people to raise and love them. Of course, that led into talking about cows, goats, horses..etc..I think we touched on every flipping farm animal there was. (LOL) Anyhow, we had been talking about getting a puppy but had been putting it off until we all had a little more control of our lives. Of course, my husband beleives that two large dogs in a 5 bedroom house was enough...(not sure what he was thinking). Anyhow, I told him that we needed to get a puppy that may help my grandson get over thinking that he is the only thing that is without a mommy. IT WORKED!!! We drove 4 1/2 hours to look at and select a puppy. This little guy is adorable (photo below). When we got him back home..he was whinning...and..my grandson asked..grandma what's wrong with him..I told him that he misses his mommy..but...with all the love that we are going to give him...he will be fine!! IT WORKED TOO!!! The puppy kept us up all night (not the grandson)..but..i think this is showing him that it is okay to miss your mommy...and...feel safe and secure with the people who love you!! Last edited by TrishaV; 10-05-2007 at 09:48 AM. Reason: picture didn't show up

10-05-2007, 10:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
BigSis On a tear Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Volcano Country! Posts: 3,236	Awwwww..... both sound like cuties. Good analogy - something he could understand. ((hugs)) __________________ No matter how spoiled the past may be, our future is spotless.... BigSis

10-05-2007, 11:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
ctrom40 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 384	Great analogy Trisha, Cute puppy, I want one tooooo!!!!!! If I have one of those throw myself on the Walmart floor and have a tantrum can I pallllleeeese have a new puppy..... can I huh, can I... I promise to take care of it... My husband says no to another dog too. He thinks our 75 pound "RottenLab"... is enough. Give you grandson and new puppy a hug for me, Colleen __________________ Colleen Life is too short to wear uncomfortable shoes.

10-05-2007, 09:42 PM	#7 (permalink)
*greeteachday* Administrator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: out there Posts: 3,399	What a great share...The puppy is adorable and aren't you a wonderful grandmom to help your grandson to understand and feel the love you have for him. Hugs __________________ Sometimes your only available transportation is a leap of faith - Margaret Shepherd

10-06-2007, 04:49 AM	#9 (permalink)
*marle* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: East Tawas, MI Posts: 3,691	That is an adorable puppy. And don't worry, I have 5 dogs and only two bedrooms Hugs and enjoy the puppy breath (the greatest smell in the world), Marle __________________ "If we all knew the answers, there would be no need for questions."

10-05-2007, 11:03 AM	#3 (permalink)
BrokenBridges24 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Delaware Posts: 201	Awww the puppy is so cute. Great idea!!

10-05-2007, 11:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
caileesnana Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: dallas texas Posts: 1,613	Good idea! Glad he is doing so good. susan

10-05-2007, 11:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
TrishaV Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Falling Waters, WV Posts: 150	Let me tell you...I would have every dog in the world if it weren't for my husband telling me no. I have wanted a puppy for some time now ...and..he had his mind set..that we weren't getting anymore dogs. We currently have a german shepard and a labmation (lab + dalmation) and...he thought that was enough. I tried every trick in the book make he agree that we needed another puppy...and..It didn't work! Until...now!! Although...after he heard the comments that my grandson was making..I think ..i hope he is happy that we got the puppy!! Hummm...doesn't temper tantrums get you put in time out?? If not..and..they get you a puppy..I should have thrown one months ago!! LOL

10-05-2007, 10:06 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lobo Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: GO PENS Posts: 1,151	That is the most adorable puppy. What did you name it? And you are the most adorable gramma.

10-06-2007, 05:41 AM	#10 (permalink)
sobercuse Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Up North Posts: 105	That's a good story Trish, thanks. I have my 3 year old Grand daughter here for the long weekend. She comes here one weekend a month. I tried to get custody, but her Mother let custody go to the Aunt. I'm still saddened by the whole darn mess. AS is sitting in jail, and his AGF is in jail too. The disease of addiction has run rampant through the lives of me and my loved ones. It's a difficult subject to talk about where Mama and Daddy are right now. It's very difficult. We say prayers and we bless them and everyone that we love. They need help and we need help too. We help each other................one day at a time, every thing's gonna be alright. A new day is here, and my goal today is to be grateful for each moment. We have a couple of pups too. We enjoy taking them for walks in the woods.

10-06-2007, 06:21 AM	#11 (permalink)
frankie_b Living in the light Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Sweet Home Serenity Posts: 704	Your story warms my heart. You, Grandma Trisha have given grandson a beautiful lesson in the meaning of love. Hugs __________________ Frankie Follow your dreams :present:

10-06-2007, 08:47 AM	#12 (permalink)
Easeful Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nearby Posts: 231	Adorable pup! What kind is it? I hope he helps your grandson adjust to all the changes in his young life.

10-07-2007, 01:37 AM	#13 (permalink)
rahsue remember to breathe Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: philadelphia pa Posts: 1,234	you are one smart cookie best of luck

10-07-2007, 08:29 AM	#14 (permalink)
bookmiser Get Caught Reading Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Not in the boonies, thank God Posts: 1,406	Trisha, I think your one great grandma, too. What a great story to share. Big hugs and lots of prayers to you and your family. Special hugs to the boy with the new puppy. __________________ “The more you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” - Dr. Seuss, "I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!"

10-08-2007, 05:45 AM	#15 (permalink)
TrishaV Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Falling Waters, WV Posts: 150	Thank you all for such a great response. I have been having a difficult time answering my grandsons questions and I always try to find a way that makes things easy for him to understand. For those inquiring about the puppy....He name is Kadin Alibi. The family choose Kadin because it was easy for everyone to remember....We have a Jade (lab-mation), Jadyn (my grandaughter), Kadin (new pup) and Cada (aka Cacadia) german shepard. We selected Alibi because look at his face...he has that "I didn't do it look to him. Anyhow...he is a Shar-pei Lab mix that is just too adorable. The only problem I have now is my grandson wants the puppy to sleep with him..but..unfortunately...we are working with my grandson because he still wets the bed and of course the puppy misses his family and whines a lot during the night. We told my grandson...the puppy can't sleep with him because he is still having accidents...like my grandson...this went really well!! As a matter of fact this was the first time in a year and a half that my grandson didn't pee the bed (saturday)!! Yay!! I am jut making all kinds of progress!! Again, thank you all for your wonderful responses!!

10-08-2007, 07:30 AM	#16 (permalink)
pjbs55 Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 702	Trish, Your grandson is a lucky little boy. He has someone to really love him at this time in his life, and who cares about his feelings. I hope the puppy does the trick and see that he can love something and have love given back to him. __________________ Pam

10-08-2007, 07:43 AM	#17 (permalink)
CatsPajamas Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Trudging Posts: 2,423	This just really touched my heart. Pups are SUCH a good way to teach kids about so many things... and you have opened my eyes to a few more! Welcome to the family, Kadin. Jack and Cocoa (co-dependent dogs) send their love. (There should be a cute pic of my 2 dogs here but I can't get it to load and don't have time to mess with it right now.) Cats __________________ *"Recovery is about learning to live life on life's terms....and still being tickled pink to be alive each day." ~~ Ann*

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