I'm a great-grandmother

[devastated]

How could this be? How could I be a great-grandmother at such a young age! I mean really.

Well, it's true. I found out last week that my son's daughter, who is 19 years old and whom I haven't seen (thanks to her Mom) for at least 11 years, gave birth to a baby girl in May.

As you all know, my son is in a fire camp and looking great and doing well.

He has been trying for years (on and off) to get back in touch with his children. Well, he has been writing letters to the children and addressing them with the grandmother's address. He has done this for the past three years without result.

He called me last week to tell me that his daughter finally wrote to him. She told him about her baby and told him like it was. She told him he was a very bad father and he missed a great deal. She told him that she and her brother have had a difficult time in this life because he was never there for them, and God knows they didn't have the best mother in the world. In short, she told him like it was.

He accepts the wrath because he knows he deserves it. He wrote back asking that she forgive him for all his bad choices. She told him that her brother, his son, will probably never forgive him and wants nothing to do with him. He understands, but still prays that somewhere along the line he will learn to forgive him. He is 16 years old now and hasn't talked to his father for probably 5 years.

In his defense I know he tried many times; however, he is so far behind in child support that he has lost any rights he may have had.

The mother also cut Mr. Dev and I off a long time ago. We went to court probably 5 times. I got grandparent rights but she would never give me her phone number as sh was suppose to do. Instead we would go to court and she would tell the judge she didn't have a phone. It would be the same thing every time. The judge would say as soon as you get one you need to give it to the grandmother. She would agree, but never did it. She moved away and never told me where. I finally lost contact with them.

We always had good times when we were together and I'm sure she remembers that about us. My son gave her my phone number, so perhaps she will call. We will see.

Just to let you all know that miracles do happen. Prayers help too!

As fo the boy, he is looking wonderful and doing well. He has the funniest sense of humour and even Mr. Dev has visited him with me.

I'll just tell you one funny thing that happened when we went to see him. Mind you he is in a beautiful environment in the redwoods and it's fun to visit him.

Last week we were there for a visit and before they let him hug us, they search him. Just as the guard was frisking each leg (you know the routine right?) my son said, "I love a man with strong hands!" The guard started laughing so hard, then said "get out of here!"

He was telling us that when he got there they interviewed him and asked him if he had any nicknames. He said you mean when I was a kid? They said yes like what, if anything, did your mom call you. He said, "Oh, ok, you mean like A==hole?" They almost died laughing. Me too!

He's been doing great. I asked him what happened to the ADD & BIPOLAR problem, as he certainly can visit with us and stay focused on the conversation.
Hmmmm? makes one think it may be drugs huh?

They kicked out six guys last week for dirty tests. He said they have got to be crazy to screw up and have to go back behind the wall. I mean if you have to be incarcerated, you couldn't ask for a nicer place.

In all the times he has been in various prisons and camps, Mr. Dev has never visited. The only reason he came this time is he didn't want me to drive the roads alone. Silly him.

Aren't you glad I don't post very often? It takes a month to read. Sorry, I've just got so much to say all the time.

Hugs, Devastated

[cece1960]

Ahhh Dev...congratulations great grammy!
You must have had YOUR kids at what...12?

I'm so glad that the visit went well. HP must be planning away for all of you,huh?

I'll keep the new little one and the mom in my prayers, that she realizes what a great gift both you and the Mr could bring to the childs life.
Miracles DO happen!
(((Hugs)))
Cece

[splendra]

(((devastated)))))

It sounds like your son is doing really good. You sound good too. I can't imagine some one wanting to cut their children off from family but, it happens.

I have niece who was cut off from my brother and all of the rest of the family and she is so messed up she can't seem to get over any of it.

I feel real bad for your grand kids they ought to be able to see their grand ma no matter what and I think they should know that you never stopped trying to be in touch with them.

[Momsrainbow]

Another great-grandmother at a young age? In spite of all our questions and doubts-the children make it worth it. Yes?

[marle]

Dev, So glad to hear that your son is doing great and that he took what his daughter said with grace. Sounds like maybe they may have a relationship again. I will say a prayer for that and also for you to get to see her and your great-grandchild. Hugs, Marle

[CarolD]

Hi Dev....Lot's of positive news ....Hugs to all of you

[greeteachday]

Congrats Dev. I really hope your grandkids get in touch with you so you can see them and the new baby. Sounds like excellent news with your son. I believe in miracles too. Hugs and prayers.

[CatsPajamas]

(( dev))

Thanks for the good news. Life tends to unfold just as it should. Perhaps this is the start of some healthy communication and healing for your son.

It sounds like he is in a really good place and is learning some important life lessons. How awesome that you can go visit and laugh !!

Hugs
Cats

[frankly]

((Dev))

Congrats on the great grandbaby, I hope you get to see her soon. Miricles happen every day, I'm praying this is your families time.

B

[devastated]

Thanks for all your prayers and congratulations!! I do believe in the power of prayer more than ever. Do you know when we pray and pray and we never see any change, and then we start doubting that anyone is listening???

WELL......Now I know that the answers to our prayers do not always happen in our time frame, but in HIS!

Yes, the boy looks great. The funny thing about all of this is they are usually placed as far away from their home as possible. You all know how many times you've had to travel 6 and 7 hours for a visit right? Well, don't ask me why but he got placed only an hour and a half away from us.

Anyway, he got his release date and it will be October 2008. It was suppose to be 2009, but between good time and going to the fire camp they take a year off the sentence. He told me that they were releasing everyone that have 6 months to go now because of the overcrowding. I think the longer he stays the better it will be for him and for us. I actually relax a lot more when he is there. Not when he was in San Quentin, but now in this camp.

Thanks again for the prayers. I sure would like to think things would always be this way. You know, him clean and decent! Keep the prayers coming.

Hugs, Devastated

[historyteach]

(((Dev)))

Congratulations, Grammy!!!
I remember my great-grandmother, well. My son, her great-great-grandchild, was @ 4 or 5 when she passed away. I have a wonderful picture with them both together. It's a treasure!

I hope you will be able to see the child. As angry as she may be at her father, you are a different story.

And I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing so well. My prayers remain with him.

Shalom!

[Elana]

Concentrating on the good news. Congratulations.

[Ann]

Congratulations great grandma Dev, you are far too young for this job. I hope that one day everyone speaks to everyone and that you all find peace.

If it's any consolation, I have two brothers, one of which speaks to nobody except at funerals. And he neither drinks nor does drugs and neither do we. It just works out that way sometimes and we can't do a thing about it except live our lives well.

I'm glad your son is doing so well and hope he can hang on to all this when he gets out. He sounds like he is getting stronger and wiser each time, so maybe this will be his time to shine. And he hasn't complained about the thread count in his sheets this time, so that in itself shows growth, yes?

I'm cheering him on with you Dev, and sending hugs to all of you.

[BigSis]

((((Dev)))))

You know, I spent my first years on this planet in Scocia and Rio Dell... at the tip of the redwoods. Beautiful, beautiful country. I wish your son the best.

Those kids of his are still SO young. Like many of us, I suspect they will eventually figure out that those resentments they carry only hurt them.... and my prayers are that they can find a way to let them go. Tell your son to be persistent. It may take years, (and he has "years" to make up for) but the reward is worth it!

I agree with Cece... this is what you get for being a "child bride", girly. Congrats on the new baby - and prayers that you can reunite with the granddaughter.

((hugs))

[Hangin' In]

I have a feeling I know where that son of yours gets his sense of humor.

Congrats on the great-gran. Like Big Sis said, it will all unfold in the right time, God's time. I'm sure your son knows that he can only make his amends and clean up his side of the street the best he can. God will handle the rest. And when and if the time is right for a reuniting, it will happen. But I just have to believe that you and your son's HP is in charge and has the best plan.

And thanks for the cute story re your son's comments. I'm convinced attitude is a huge part of the battle ... of life....and sounds like your son is making the best of his situation.

You hang in there. Tell sonny boy that Ms. Hangin' is proud of him. And if you want to post again and say alot, come sit by me. Maybe in our next life God will make us quiet women with few words. Talk about a miracle.....

[hope213]

congrats on you being a great grandmother....wow...you are to young. it sounds as if your son has finally got it. i am proud of him.i know you are. this is all great news & i am so glad you came to visit us. i've thought about you & wondered how u were & your two sons. hugs,

[devastated]

Thanks for the CONGRATULATIONS on being a great-grandmother. See, I knew I was "great" at something! Sure as heck was parenting, so let's try great-grandmother instead.

Ann, you're right! I just now realized that my son didn't complain about the thread count. That is a good sign isn't it??

So funny when Mr. Dev finally decided to go with me to see the boy and we were talking about me always trying to run his life. Well, Mr. Dev and the boy were talking about it. Mr. Dev was so serious and the son was listening and hanging on each and every word, while he was chastising me for always interferring. The son was totally agreeing with Mr. Dev until he got to the part where he said, "ok Mamma, now don ja no you no can do noting bout the boy. Now ja know he just bad!" With that the son stops him and says "now wait a minute pops, I was going along with you until you got to that point. Let's not get carried away here!" I laughed so much.

Sure hope that things do change for him and that his HP put this new child in his life for a reason. Maybe he will realize what he has missed now.

I can't get real excited any more as I've been dissappointed too many times. I just will take it one day at a time from now on.

Thanks to you all. Keep the prayers coming.

Hugs, Dev

[Ann]

The son was totally agreeing with Mr. Dev until he got to the part where he said, "ok Mamma, now don ja no you no can do noting bout the boy. Now ja know he just bad!" With that the son stops him and says "now wait a minute pops, I was going along with you until you got to that point. Let's not get carried away here!" I laughed so much.

I just love Mr. Dev to death. Give him a big big hug from the Foxy Canadian Lady....the one who can't cook...the crazy one.

You crack me up, Dev, really you do.

Hugs

[Wascally Wabbit]

I don't know what to say. You have a son doing well, and then, grandchildren you can't see. Well, kids grow up and hopefully God will put a burning desire in their hearts to know you.
As your son continues to grow in recovery, his life will only change for the better.
I hope things work out for you all.

[devastated]

Which one of those three TALL ladies am I on your "Advar" (is that what's it's called?)

I think I'm the one in the two-piece bathing suit. Naaa, on second thought I don't see any rolls, so it can't be me!

Incidentally, It's ok if you can't cook, Ann, neither can I. My sister says I am so spoiled all I have to do is breath. This is true!

Hugs, Dev

[frankie_b]

LOL Dev. Finally arrived at great? Well, woman you'll be Dev the Great from now on.

[abtchonamission]

Originally Posted by cece1960

Ahhh Dev...congratulations great grammy!
You must have had YOUR kids at what...12?

I have it on good authority that she was actually only about 8 when she had her kids. (LOL)

Congratulations, Dev...on becoming a great-grandma (and no, it's NOT the only thing you're great at, I could list so many you'd get sick of reading my list) and congratulations on the possibility that you'll get your granddaughter back in your life. From the way you describe her telling her dad how things are, she sounds like she's got her head on straight and I think you'll be hearing from her all about how much she's missed you.

[frankie_b]

Dev, you and Ann have me laughing hard. Finally arrived at great? Okay, I'll call you Dev the Great from now on! LOL Oh heck just make it Dev the Greatest.

Glad to hear son is in a good place...ummmmm...well not the prison bit but
his attitude and sense of humor are going strong.

Your Mr Dev sounds like my Mr. Mine's the cook here too AND he does the grocery store too since he semi retired. Yippeee. Spoil me rotten I say. Yep, bring it on cause
I, Frankie the Grand ( not yet Great *smile*) deserve the best! First time I kissed him
I knew I'd found a Prince and not just a run of the mill frog.

Keep smiling girl. Enjoy yourself.
Hugs

[Jewelz]

awww Dev your a great grandma. I hope your granddaughter calls you I pray that she will. You may have missed many years but miracles happens every day. My dad didnt see his father for forty years! My father happened to be on the internet and came across a message from a woman looking for her brother. She had put it in an AOL profile of a her family member and left her address. it would have been so easy for my dad to miss it he only found it while doing a search of our last name within aol profiles. After forty years my dad went to Puerto rico met his dad, his sister and his neices. They still arent to close but we are closer to his sister. I now have an aunt, cousins and a grandfather that I never had. When I went to visit with them it felt like family instantly. And you know if by chance she doesn't call ask your son for her address... but she is reaching out probably seeing her precious baby makes her think of her dad, you and Mr. Dev.

Hugs,
jewel

[devastated]

Hi Ya'll (damn, there's Scarlett again)

You know, Frankie, that "great" does have a nice ring to it, don't you think? Dev The Great! Yep, I like that sound. Well, as long as it isn't connected to "Dev, the great (big), I like it!

Abtch, I don't know how well-adjusted the grandaugher is, but she certainly did tell him how she felt. That's ok though. He knows and is accepting the responsibility. He did say her spelling was just terrible. For a guy who quit school in the 11th grade he is very well-informed. After all, how many people do you know that has both a GED and a high-school diploma? Thanks to prison! He concentrates so much better there. Does a great deal of reading too. Good to hear from you. Hope all is going well.

Jewlez thanks for sharing that story with us; it gives us all hope that one day we will all see our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. Miracles do happen, don't they? My grandaughter is old enough now to realize that it was not our fault. My son did tell her that. We were very close when she was a little girl. Well see.

I'll keep you informed.

Hugs, Dev The Great (LOL)