Quick question... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

happy33 · 07-25-2007, 07:41 PM

Has anyone ever gone through the 12 steps of al-anon or nar-anon at the same time that their A was going through the 12 steps of AA or NA?

ladyamalthea · 07-25-2007, 07:47 PM

actually, from what I understand, tons of people do it this way and have success with it. Just don't veer from your 12 steps in the event that your A veers from his or hers. My parents are going to meetings twice a week currently, and both are actually at the same time and location as a meeting my sister goes to.

**greeteachday** · 07-25-2007, 09:24 PM

Yes, not uncommon. I would suggest, however that you let your recovery be yours and your addicts his. I personally think it can be uncomfortable to go to the same open meetings....much harder to share from the heart. It's different if there is an "anon" meeting at the same time as NA or AA (like Lady's folks and her sister), but the same meeting together often...I just think it is harder to be open.

Japic05 · 07-26-2007, 07:27 AM

yes - I have - actually my AH was working on his before I started on mine.

It is totally different tho - For me, the steps are a guide to learning what is good and healthy for me; improving my relationship with my HP and learning to give support to others who have walked with similiar path.

It doesn't really matter what is going on with my AH - it still affects me, but it doesn't control me.

As the same with him - he has the choice to continue his recovery regardless of what I do - my actions may affect him, but if he is truly focused on his recovery the lose the power to control him as so does the active part of the disease.

Just my e, s, & h,
Rita

lightseeker · 07-26-2007, 05:58 PM

I started Alanon/Naranon at the same time that RAH started in NA. After my 5th step I ended up in AA as well as Alanon. I finished my 12th step in Februrary of this year. RAH has gotten up to the 8th and sputtered out.

My experience has been that the more RAH works his own program and I work mine - the better. He actually has barely scratched the surface of the steps and it is showing in our relationship. He is 2 years sober and a dry drunk/dry addict.

07-25-2007, 07:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
happy33 Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Venice, CA Posts: 21	Quick question... Has anyone ever gone through the 12 steps of al-anon or nar-anon at the same time that their A was going through the 12 steps of AA or NA?

07-25-2007, 09:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
greeteachday Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: out there Posts: 2,454	Yes, not uncommon. I would suggest, however that you let your recovery be yours and your addicts his. I personally think it can be uncomfortable to go to the same open meetings....much harder to share from the heart. It's different if there is an "anon" meeting at the same time as NA or AA (like Lady's folks and her sister), but the same meeting together often...I just think it is harder to be open.
	__________________ To acknowledge life as being filled with opportunity rather than problems is a tiny shift in perspective that gives us huge rewards -Karen Casey

07-26-2007, 07:27 AM	#4 (permalink)
Japic05 I have a no no & will use it Join Date: May 2006 Location: Louisiana Posts: 3,205	yes - I have - actually my AH was working on his before I started on mine. It is totally different tho - For me, the steps are a guide to learning what is good and healthy for me; improving my relationship with my HP and learning to give support to others who have walked with similiar path. It doesn't really matter what is going on with my AH - it still affects me, but it doesn't control me. As the same with him - he has the choice to continue his recovery regardless of what I do - my actions may affect him, but if he is truly focused on his recovery the lose the power to control him as so does the active part of the disease. Just my e, s, & h, Rita
	__________________ HP, if my prayer limits Your will and Your plan for my life, please disregard my request. Serenity is always available to me, but it is my job to seek it where it can be found. Courage to Change pg 346

07-26-2007, 05:58 PM	#5 (permalink)
lightseeker Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: North Carolina Posts: 619	I started Alanon/Naranon at the same time that RAH started in NA. After my 5th step I ended up in AA as well as Alanon. I finished my 12th step in Februrary of this year. RAH has gotten up to the 8th and sputtered out. My experience has been that the more RAH works his own program and I work mine - the better. He actually has barely scratched the surface of the steps and it is showing in our relationship. He is 2 years sober and a dry drunk/dry addict.
	__________________ "If I stay in the light of what I can do to make my life better, rather than in the darkness of anger, blame and fear of the problem, my path remains lit and my world is a better place."

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07-25-2007, 07:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
ladyamalthea Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: My House Posts: 839	actually, from what I understand, tons of people do it this way and have success with it. Just don't veer from your 12 steps in the event that your A veers from his or hers. My parents are going to meetings twice a week currently, and both are actually at the same time and location as a meeting my sister goes to.

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