February13

I need to share this...

I was feeling good being away from my XABF and was considering cutting him off completely (though we have a 2 year old daughter).
He is addicted to heroin and the only type of detox he will consider is ********.

I really hope it works for him but I am so scared. His lungs are in really bad shape (part of what caused him to relapse). I don't want him to die. I know that none of this is up to me but (I know I already said it) I am so scared.
I can't stop thinking about it . There is nothing I can do. The people who have agreed to treat him are in town. They are great and knowledgeable but anything can happen.

I hope this post helps me let it go.

I am breathing all weird.

So glad Alanon meeting is tomorrow morning!

Ann

It's hard to be strong sometimes, but for your sake and that of you child it would probably be best if you made a plan for yourself and your future.

An active heroin addict will have many health issues, the very fact that they shoot heroin into their veins is a big one.

Pray for him and take care of yourself and your child. Sometimes life takes a turn where we have to be strong and find new beginnings.

Hugs

Faithlove

(((hugs to you)))

Turn to your Higher Power and lean on Him. Give Him your addict and give Him your anxiety.

I'll be praying for you.

tjp613

We understand. It's natural to feel so much concern and it's part of the insanity we come to realize we just can't live with anymore. It's part of what helps us learn to let go. For now, try to catch your worrisome thoughts as they are happening, take deep breaths and say the serenity prayer until you feel your body relax. Stay in the here and now by focusing on something interesting or beautiful around you...right now...the way the birds are singing outside of your window, how cute your cat is when he's snuggled in your lap, how precious your daughter is when she giggles,.... Life IS beautiful if we learn to see it. ((((Hugs)))

February13

Thanks everybody.

Ann, I am not so sure what you mean by a plan.
We (Me and my little girl) moved out 3 months ago and even if the ******** treatment is successful I am not considering moving back in with him. I am planning to stay home with my little girl for a few more months to ease the transition and then get a job.
We have a lot of scheduled activities during the week and a lot of fun.

XABF is not shooting up as far as I know (he is spending a lot of $$ though).

I spent hours obsessing about him the day I wrote the original post. I knew I had to let go but somehow I was unwilling to do so. I felt like I might come up with some decision
like begging him not to do it or trying to scare him out of it..
In the end I had to let it go. It's his decision. If he doesn't get clean soon he won't get to
see us at all. I guess the detox/treatment he chooses is his decision.
Having a child makes things so different.Before I would have gone for a long hike or (kayak) paddle to find some peace/let go but with a 2 year old things feel like a lot more of a struggle.