Boyfriend or ex (unsure) started Recovery!!!!Amen
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 15
Boyfriend or ex (unsure) started Recovery!!!!Amen
Hey everyone,
My last post, I mentioned how my bf dumped me via text for no reason right before a date. This was a month after a drunken coked out episode at a family holiday party that caused me to take his care and go home. After which he admited to his addictions.
Yes he dumped me via text for no reason it seemed. Anyway it took me three weeks to cry and once I did, it wasnt for the relationship it was for my best friend being so wounded. I am more educated than ever and that caused me to be afraid. So I did what I had to and left a goodbye voicemail. Ive had so many ppl die and leave from illnesses and havent been able to say good bye. I felt empowered by doing so. So after ignoring me for a month, this man texts me saying he appreciates my messeges and promises we will talk soon. Im like the first time i feel good you wanna contact me. I was so fustated that i said something mean like whatever addicts dont care about promises im not stupid.
He then proceeded to tell me that his recovery is transfering his engery into his career goals and that he finally has the direction he needed and if he doesnt put all his energy into it he will be lost like before. He says he does want to talk but does not know what to say. In my head im like say sorry duh. They teach you that in first grade. But intead i said itll come to you and ive got your back. I told him i loath being ignored so he is coming up with a safe word for himself to say when he needs space.
A relationship? Thats up to God. I want to be a good wife one day and study God so I may get to know him through obedience. I am doing this for myself and my addict so i may.lead by example. I admire him and couldnt be more proud. I am choosing to allow him his own private time with God and am giving the situation up to my Lord.
I pray he finds balance during recovery.
Please if you feel confused and anxious, you are allowed your feelings. But remember this is Gods plan. I have to remind myself that everyday.
Peace,
Tyler J
My last post, I mentioned how my bf dumped me via text for no reason right before a date. This was a month after a drunken coked out episode at a family holiday party that caused me to take his care and go home. After which he admited to his addictions.
Yes he dumped me via text for no reason it seemed. Anyway it took me three weeks to cry and once I did, it wasnt for the relationship it was for my best friend being so wounded. I am more educated than ever and that caused me to be afraid. So I did what I had to and left a goodbye voicemail. Ive had so many ppl die and leave from illnesses and havent been able to say good bye. I felt empowered by doing so. So after ignoring me for a month, this man texts me saying he appreciates my messeges and promises we will talk soon. Im like the first time i feel good you wanna contact me. I was so fustated that i said something mean like whatever addicts dont care about promises im not stupid.
He then proceeded to tell me that his recovery is transfering his engery into his career goals and that he finally has the direction he needed and if he doesnt put all his energy into it he will be lost like before. He says he does want to talk but does not know what to say. In my head im like say sorry duh. They teach you that in first grade. But intead i said itll come to you and ive got your back. I told him i loath being ignored so he is coming up with a safe word for himself to say when he needs space.
A relationship? Thats up to God. I want to be a good wife one day and study God so I may get to know him through obedience. I am doing this for myself and my addict so i may.lead by example. I admire him and couldnt be more proud. I am choosing to allow him his own private time with God and am giving the situation up to my Lord.
I pray he finds balance during recovery.
Please if you feel confused and anxious, you are allowed your feelings. But remember this is Gods plan. I have to remind myself that everyday.
Peace,
Tyler J
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 408
I do not envy your situation, it is very similar to what I've gone through over the last few years. What I found is: It's easy for addicts to make promises and it's difficult for them to follow through. I do not hold my breath on anything he says anymore...
I had a very similar situation with my XABF. He broke up with me when he relapsed (I was unaware he had) randomly, abruptly, decided not to come to a dinner we had planned for weeks with my family. After being an hour late...I called him, clearly upset, and he made up a bogus excuse about "filling up his tank" and then blurted out that he "could not do it."
It was just an excuse for him to get high without feeling "guilty" that he had a loved one to come home to. (He ultimately confessed this to me after he finally got sober...)
But he did not get sober until I left him. Until he had hit his bottom. Lost everything. Sometimes, that's what it takes.
You'll know when you're done, when you're ready, you'll be ready-and not a moment sooner. Sending you peace and hugs.
I had a very similar situation with my XABF. He broke up with me when he relapsed (I was unaware he had) randomly, abruptly, decided not to come to a dinner we had planned for weeks with my family. After being an hour late...I called him, clearly upset, and he made up a bogus excuse about "filling up his tank" and then blurted out that he "could not do it."
It was just an excuse for him to get high without feeling "guilty" that he had a loved one to come home to. (He ultimately confessed this to me after he finally got sober...)
But he did not get sober until I left him. Until he had hit his bottom. Lost everything. Sometimes, that's what it takes.
You'll know when you're done, when you're ready, you'll be ready-and not a moment sooner. Sending you peace and hugs.
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