Hades- Pure Hades

Old 06-01-2006, 05:34 AM
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One brief hour...
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Angry Hades- Pure Hades

These last few days have been hellish. AH is getting uglier and uglier as the days go by and my move out date approaches. I'll spare you every detail, but put it this way, I've heard the following spew out of his mouth...

"When you sign the divorce papers, I'll say a prayer for your soul b/c no lie I've ever told you will equal the lie you told to God."

"I'm a 'loser' that has no idea of the real world and what it takes 'to survive'." This coming from a raging A who has such a grip on the "real world" right?????

"I always go running to Mommy and Daddy."

Oh yeah, and the booze free thing???? NOT! Yesterday was a run out of pot day, so yep-- he walked to the store and got beer. To think I actually thought that maybe this was "IT" for him. Yeah right.

He got on the phone w/all of his "friends" telling them about his "first drink" and how his whole attitude about is has changed. *rolls eyes* He referred to his recent arrest as "it ain't nothin'". He also said that "he refuses to surround himself w/people that allow that kind of stuff to happen to him." WHAT??????????? WHAT???????? He then capped it off by stating, "I'm a victim of my environment." :uzi2:

What a miserable soul he is and I'm so happy that I'm getting out of here soon. This morning he storms off for work telling me to have all my $hit out of HIS room by the time he gets home. I have furniture in there that he KNOWS is too heavy for me to lift!!! I'm really beginning to kick myself for not searching harder for ANY craphole apt. I could find so that I could have been out of here TODAY!!! I really don't know if it will be possible for us to last the duration here. I may have to rent a room or something if things get too bad. I do well at tuning him out and not dancing with him, but now that he's drinking again and given his proven propensity towards violence, I WILL NOT STICK AROUND if things get out of control.

Say a prayer for me that this maniac will not blow his top and go off the deep end.
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:46 AM
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My prayers are heading your way, I feel your pain. Do what you need to, for you.

Dolly
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:50 AM
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Ditto, Mega. Don't listen to his words - that's all they are - words, and coming from someone w/ obvious 'issues' - they don't mean anything. He's just saying that to hurt you (but you knew that.) Must be hard to listen to, and my prayers are w/ you for some kinda serenity. Is there somewhere you can to go chill out and get away from him? Wish we lived closer - I'd meet you for coffee - FOR 10 HOURS!

You hang in there - you're worth more than that.
-DG
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:51 AM
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(((Mega))) I will say a prayer for you... I'm sorry that he's getting so ugly with you. Guess maybe he's realizing what he's losing and he's scared... You've been his comfort zone and took care of him for years and now that's going to change. He's finally going to have to take responsibility for himself and his actions...
Take care of yourself,
Anguished
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:58 AM
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Even though you all got the "official thanks," I cannot help but thank you all right here.

Dolly- I appreciate it and I hope your ex has not given you any trouble since he got out of rehab. He's a piece of work himself.

Thanks DG and man-o-man I wish we could take a 10 coffee break together!

Anguished- thank you so much and I'm sure all of the hate he spews is just to cover up his own fears and insecurities. It probably pacifies his own sense of guilt in the matter (if he even has any- I'm beginning to wonder). His words are really just quacking to me, but man--- he's getting on my nerves!
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:03 AM
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I had to go through all the mean and nasty things being said by my Ex also. You ignore them but still it doesnt feel good. I think when they see that you are leaving their whole attitude changes into someone very mean. I will be thinking of you.
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:06 AM
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Thanks so much love. I'm just finding it really hard to keep my mouth shut I think. Some of the things he says are soooo off the wall that I just want to shout "Are you really THIS crazy????" I am by nature the type of person that does not take things lying down, but I've learned that responding back to his nonsense will do absolutely nothing but worsen the situation. It's hard to do sometimes though.
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:21 AM
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Oh man... the home stretch is a tough one... panic mode kicks in big time. And as far as surrounding himself w/ people who care enough to not let this happen to him?!?!? I would NOT know what to say to that.... except when this is over, take a vacation Mega!

Please keep that bag packed in the trunk!
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:27 AM
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Hang in there!! (errrr... I don't mean physically!).

I hope the time passes quickly till taking a verbal kicking is no longer part of your life! It does sound awful to live with - is getting a room very hard where you are?
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:28 AM
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(((mega)))

Blimey - we should put your hubby and sunshine's in a room together. Have a BS-challenge.

Not long to go now, hon, then you are free to begin the rest of your life.
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:48 AM
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Thanks friends.

Jazz- I already have a trip planned for September LOL.

EQ- getting a room is really not difficult in this city, but the prices are outrageous. I would pay more for a furnished room than what I pay in rent for my 2 BR apartment. Money is very tight, but I'll make it happen if I must.

Minnie--can't wait to be out of this mess. I don't know who would win that challenge Minnie LOL. We sure know how to pick 'em don't we?
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Old 06-01-2006, 06:55 AM
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Do you get it now?

That you and your soon to be ex AH really cannot be friends and confidants? It's just not possible, no matter how much you like each other. Maybe many years from now, if he's not dead, but for now, you need to make a clean break with him.

Personally, you have dragged this on too long and if you thought his behavior was going to be any different than what it is, you are quite naieve, and I don't really think you are.

Mega, have you gone to an attorney to start separation proceedings leading to a divorce?
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:07 AM
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Oh Mega! I'm so sorry. Isn't it amazing how they all sound the same???? I swera the more I read, the more all of our's A's spew the SAME crap at us! Just goes to show you how wide reaching and destructive A is. If I could hop in my car and come get you I would. You baby, deserve soooo much better. We all do! I know exactly what you are talking about when you say it's hard to keep you lips buttoned. I am always one to debate or try to defend and that is so out of my realm I am amazed that it's been acomplished, though sometimes I fail miserably.
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:07 AM
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Oh yeah Judy-- I do "get" it. I don't think I'll be interested in being "friends" with him even years down the road. He is toxic. You're right too about the "if he's not dead" part. I really think that he IS the alkie that will never hit his bottom until it kills him. He's already lost so much PRIOR to me and considering all that has gone on lately, if he still doesn't get it, he really is hopeless IMO.

Mega, have you gone to an attorney to start separation proceedings leading to a divorce?
I'm going today. I'm not concerned if he is out of state by the time the papers are done b/c if so and I get no response, I'll get a quick, easy divorce by default. I'm getting it done so don't you worry. Money has been a prob. My parents are helping me with the divorce $. I tried for it not to come to that which is why I've waited for so long.
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:12 AM
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Dang Deettah!! There is no thanks button under your name for some reason! Well I do thank you and yes, the ravings of an A are really very predictable. It's the same ole' tired dance. I do deserve a lot better and one thing I'll be grateful for when this is all over is the wisdom I have gained.
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:21 AM
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Well money is always a valid reason LOL
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:28 AM
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I'm just finding it really hard to keep my mouth shut I think. Some of the things he says are soooo off the wall that I just want to shout "Are you really THIS crazy????" I am by nature the type of person that does not take things lying down, but I've learned that responding back to his nonsense will do absolutely nothing but worsen the situation. It's hard to do sometimes though.
that was one nugget of knowledge that i learned early on - you can't engage in the conversation - and before recovery i didn't realize this or that i had a choice. whenever the "words" started and didn't die down - i left the house - that was the only way i assured myself of not getting sucked into some kind of verbal exchange that only ended up exhausting me.

prayers out to you mega - lots of us know exactly how you are feeling.
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:33 AM
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Thanks so much cwohio and it is tough. I've been OK at not exchanging with him, but it still stresses the mind to listen to any of it at all. I think I'll be making myself scarce around here a lot in the near future.
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Old 06-01-2006, 07:37 AM
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Ugg.
Quack quack.
This is unhealthy anger at its finest.
Well, Mega..look on the bright side, think of how many days in the rest of your life you will have without this insanity.
I used to say, Geez, I cant take another week of this..that was not helping me. I started thinking, I am looking forward to the rest of my life, this is just a speed bump...
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Old 06-01-2006, 08:09 AM
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Hey Mega...do you see that light at the end of the tunnel?
It is getting brighter and brighter...soon it will blind you...LOL
Hang in there only a month to go, we can do anything for a month.
if we know what the pay off is.....
All I can say about you H is....waddle waddle quack quack....
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