Update.. having good days.

[sadface]

We have been separated for about 16 mos, married 17 yrs. We used to see each other every day and I started working a second job 6 mos ago. He didn't come over but we talked everyday. I got mad at him and didn't want to talk anymore. It has been about three months since things have changed for my AH and I. I have seen him once in those three months. He has stopped taking my son with him on weekends because he is working as a trucker out of state. He rarely calls my son or I. During that time, he did call twice very drunk...feeling sorry for himself. I believe he has OW and now she is enabling him. A friend saw him about a week ago, and AH told her we are separated. He used to get mad when I told people that. I know in my heart it is over. I don't cry everyday but I do miss him and think about him. I guess I still love him. Last time I talked to him about 10 days ago, he said when he came back, he was going to rehab. He called me at work about three days ago,but I didn't answer because I don't want to argue with him anymore. I see that my 14 year old son misses him. i have planned a week vacation in Canada. I hope this will help both of us and we will bond closer. I have alot to thank God for, I must admit. I have built a little bit of a savings, so I don't worry (not much) about losing my house. I have started Alanon meetings so I hope this missing him will go away for both of us. I read posts just about everyday here and it has helped. I also read "Co-dependents no more" and "For women who love to much." I recommend it to newcomers. It does get better. About a year ago, I used to cry every night and my son would sit beside me and cry with me. Now I am working on myself and trying to be supportive to my son. Thanks.

[doubletime]

Hello, sadface, "wow" keep up the good work. I hope both of you enjoy your vacation, you both deserve it. I have a son (10 years old), have been seperated for 6 months now and in the process of a divorce. My son and I both have to take a breather, or a good cry everyone once in a while but we both realize it is for the best. We both are so much more relaxed and starting to live again.


Sending ((hugs)) your way.



Doubletime

[denny57]

((sadface))

yes, keep working on your recovery and every day will get a little better. you can't turn the love you feel off like a faucet, but it will hurt less as time goes by. i'm glad to hear you are attending al-anon and hope it is as helpful for you as it is for me. how about your son? has he tried alateen? i hope you have a great vacation - where are you headed in canada?

[sadface]

Regarding my son, I took him to the one and only Alateen in town and he was the only one present. We tried a family Alanon, we didn't like it because one of the men said the only way to stop an alcoholic is to put a 45 caliber in him. My son was turned off and so was I. Now I am attending a womens only Alanon and it seems okay. My son doesn't want to try anymore. I am trying to get him to a speakers meeting today, and hopefully try a mens only Alanon later in the week. Eventually, I would like both of us to attend an AA meeting just to understand what they are going through. Doubletime: I see how hard it has been for my son so I can only imagine it is harder for your son at the young age of 10 yrs. old. You do seem like a good and smart mother (I used to cry al the time and it made it harder for my son) I wish both of you the best. Anyway, we are going to Victoria, B.C. we will take the ferry. Because I have 10 days off, we will also stop at Seattle, WA. We need to relax and I hope this will help.