AH responded to my attorney...

[sunshine003]

Stating he doesn't agree to my leaving the state (or county for that matter) because number 1, he has had the baby 30 percent of the time since she was born. therefore, I would be taking her and changing their relationship, blah blah blah.

First off, that is such a lie. He isn't even home that much. Second, I have on two, maybe three occasions, left him alone with her. He's never even been to a doctor's appointment with me for her. It's just absurd. Of course, I realize he had to say something and would more than likely come up with something that wasn't true. It's almost laughable but it's also frustrating. He'd never offer to take her so I could get something done or for me to have a break.....so I'm a tad bit angry.

The last time my ah pulled an all nighter, it was a biggie. It was the time I actually drove to find him.....was the first time I ever did that. Anyway, it was when I discovered his car at his office but that girls car still at the place I last saw ah. I ended up calling his mom that morning. She flew off the handle and started calling ah also. So by the time ah called me, I suppose he KNEW he was in big trouble. He strolled in around 8 am. I sat there silent and he proceeded to tell me he was moving out. I asked him why? He said he was tired of the daily struggle of being with me. That he saw an old boy friend of mine out after I left and that is why he didn't come home. It triggered all sorts of bad memories for him (from high school, LOL) and he couldn't handle it. That he has nightmares thinking of me with other people (again, from highschool 15 years ago, LOL), blah blah blah. It sounded so real at the time and of course, I fell for all this crap. He talked very angry in all he was saying. I ended up crying and crying, begging him not to go.....I was so sorry, etc. It makes me sick to think of it and how I acted. When I should have said, "if that's how you feel you should go." In any event, as absurd as all he said that night was, THAT'S HOW ABSURD ALL THE STUFF HIS PAPERS SAY!!!

Sorry to go off on a tangent, it just made me think about that night.

Finally I can relate to his saying "being with me is a daily struggle." Being married to him had become a daily struggle and still is at times.

[Ayers1995]

Good Morning Sunshine! I'm sorry that AH responded negatively to your attorney. I know they don't seem to do anything for the kids until we decide we can't take it anymore, then they are all high and mighty and can't stand the thought of being without them. It's awful that you can't take the baby and go, but just keep moving forward and standing your ground. Things will work out in one way or another....

Sorry, I know it's not much advice... but I will keep you in my thoughts...

[sunshine003]

hi ayers, how are you doing? hope you're hanging in there!

[gelfling]

Hiya Shine!!! You kept all documentation of his calls, emails, etc.? Right. Just consider his response your daily giggle. Because you know it's laughable and NOT TRUE!!!

Hang tight sweets.

[sunshine003]

yes, I did. this is just frustrating and I hoped something could be solved and not dragged out. but there I go, involving hope and ah just doesn't mix.

i'll learn one of these days, I just know i will

[denny57]

Originally Posted by sunshine003

yes, I did. this is just frustrating and I hoped something could be solved and not dragged out. but there I go, involving hope and ah just doesn't mix.

i'll learn one of these days, I just know i will

I only learn by doing. Every time I think something is going to go smoothly I'm setting myself up for frustration. So I hear you. Just hang in there and keep moving forward one day at a time. ((sunshine))

[megamysterioso]

Hi ((Sushine)). I'm sorry that this is hitting the fan the way that it is and I'll be thinking of you. YOU know the truth of your marriage and you will have to bring all of that to your lawyer's attention (which I'm sure you have). You have every right to be very ticked about all this, but don't be surprised. This may be the tip of the iceberg. He may "pull out all the stops" on this and bring up things from years ago to try and "get an edge." Just have your things in order there and you'll be fine . Edge smmmedge.

[minnie]

Deep breaths, Sunshine.

As you know, I have had my fair share of legal dealings with my ex. And one thing I have learnt is that much of the stuff that has come back from the other side is legal tactics. His lawyer is obliged to get the "best" for his or her client and many times these attempts stretch the truth in all sorts of ways, even if you leave aside the fact that the client lives in a fantasy world anyway. My ex has signed a sworn statement that goes against mountains of documentary evidence I have, but that didn;t stop him signing that bit of paper.

The only bit if advice I can offer is to do everything you can to take the emotion and "personal" out of this and deal only in fact. I know how trite that sounds and I would probably have thumped anyone who said that to me 6 months ago, but I have found it to be true. When I deal in cold, hard, documented fact, I am able to achieve a sense of calm amid the chaos.

Keep you side of the street clean, document the filth that is his side and the truth will out.