Are you wondering when the pain stops? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

nytepassion · 01-13-2006, 11:05 AM

The Pain Stops: when you stop looking at the person you love as the person you love, and you begin to see them, not as a partner, a lover, or a best friend, but as a human being with the strengths and weaknesses and even the core of a child.

The Pain Stops: when you begin to accept that what you would do in a circumstance is not what they would do, and that no matter how much you try, they have to learn their own lessons, and they have to touch the stove when it's hot, just as you did, to learn that it is much better when it is cold.

The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away, when making love to them no longer makes you feel cherished, when you find yourself tired of waiting for the moments where the good will truly outweigh the bad, and when at the end of the day you can't count on their arms for comfort.

The Pain Stops: when you start to look inward and decide whether their presence is a gift or a curse, and whether when you need them, they cause more heartache than bliss.

The Pain Stops: when you realize that you deserve more than they offer and stop blaming them for being less than you wish. When the smile of a stranger seems more inviting and kind, and you remember what it's like to feel beautiful, and you remember how long it has been since your lover whispered something in your ear that only the two of you would know.

The Pain Stops: when you forgive them for their faults and forgive yourself for staying so long. When you know that you tried harder than you ever tried before, and you know in your heart that love should not be so much work.

The Pain Stops: when you start to look in the mirror and like who you see, and know that leaving them or losing them is no reflection of your beauty or your worth.

The Pain Stops: when the promise of a new tomorrow is just enough to start replacing the emptiness in your heart, and you start dreaming again of who you used to be and who you will become.

The Pain Stops: when you say goodbye to what never really was, and accept that somewhere in the fog you may or may not have been loved back. And you promise yourself never again to lay in arms that don't know how to cherish the kindness in your heart.

The Pain Stops: When you are ready.

softasylum · 01-13-2006, 11:40 AM

What a beautiful, powerful post-hurts and soothes simultaneously-wow-thank you so much nytepassion xoxo

Anguished · 01-13-2006, 11:46 AM

Nytepassion,

Your post is very eye-opening to me... So truthful... I feel like I can affirm all of it... Excellent post...

Thanks for sharing...

Anguished

guyinNC · 01-13-2006, 12:00 PM

You are a poet.

unstablelady · 01-13-2006, 12:06 PM

I'm guessing that came straight from the heart ? ... Beautiful xxx

Sharon

TexasGirl · 01-13-2006, 12:38 PM

Nyte, I always enjoy each of your posts. They give me such an uplifting feeling of hope. Thanks.

cwohio · 01-13-2006, 12:41 PM

lovely - it does come from the heart!

pmaslan · 01-13-2006, 01:03 PM

I hope you don't mind that I printed this....
I think it will be a good reminder for me
Thanks for posting this today.....

sarahlynnl · 01-13-2006, 03:09 PM

Lovely post and something that I so needed to read today. When I get a printer again it will be one of the first things that I print out.

Thanks!

equus · 01-13-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away, when making love to them no longer makes you feel cherished, when you find yourself tired of waiting for the moments where the good will truly outweigh the bad, and when at the end of the day you can't count on their arms for comfort.

Uhmmmm.... I get where your coming from and many times this may be true... but - you know NOT always.

My husband, my partner, is ALSO a human being, individual and free. As am I.

sunshinebluesky · 01-13-2006, 04:12 PM

hit it right on for me. a definate print out i need to do!! thanks and hugs.

reader · 01-14-2006, 07:11 AM

Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom!!!! Inspiring......

Numb · 01-14-2006, 08:58 AM

I printed this too, it was what I needed, I am in pain and this is great.

Thanks,
Kris

TexasGirl · 06-29-2006, 04:14 PM

Hey all -- I wanted to bump this post. It was one of my favorites I printed to keep, and when I found it in my folder the other day, I wanted everyone to be able to read it now too.

robina · 06-29-2006, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nytepassion

The Pain Stops: when you begin to accept that what you would do in a circumstance is not what they would do, and that no matter how much you try, they have to learn their own lessons, and they have to touch the stove when it's hot, just as you did, to learn that it is much better when it is cold. The Pain Stops: When you are ready.

I like that part a lot

fartheralong · 06-29-2006, 07:44 PM

I love this. I hope you don' tmind that I'm saving it and printing it.

Wow.

FA

Aquiana · 06-29-2006, 09:52 PM

Wow, that was awesome!

StandingStrong · 06-29-2006, 10:21 PM

Alot of great ones there!!!!

thanks!

Janitw · 06-30-2006, 02:32 PM

On this weekend being the 1year anniversary of my husbands leaving us ... this really his home with me in a way that nothing else has all year long. It makes me cry for what was and also for what will be. I'm just so tired of all of it and I now want to just move on and not care what he's done to the kids and I. Thank You so much - I needed this very much. XOXOXOXO

Janet

Pick-a-name · 07-25-2006, 08:41 AM

Bump...

pmaslan · 07-25-2006, 08:44 AM

good idea Pick...I just read it again, I think with so many new
people it is definately a good read for them.....

Jwife22 · 07-25-2006, 09:23 AM

Wow...........that's all I can really say.

Tally · 07-25-2006, 01:13 PM

Gosh, that hit me hard. Am sitting here in tears..

Powerful and honest words but also beautiful..

You definately spoke to me with that post.

Thanks you xxx

blizzard77 · 07-25-2006, 02:44 PM

You definitely gave me something to think about today. I'm trying to decide if staying with my RHA (5months, I think). I don't know if I have anything left to give. Now, he's ready to try and I feel burned out from eight years of the insanity that our lives have become.
thanks,
Michelle

Pixie Dust · 07-25-2006, 07:57 PM

Thank you so much for that!! I printed it & it's right beside my pc where I can see it everyday.

01-13-2006, 11:05 AM	#1 (permalink)
nytepassion Drug Addiction Has No Mercy Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Milwaukie Oregon Posts: 677	Are you wondering when the pain stops? The Pain Stops: when you stop looking at the person you love as the person you love, and you begin to see them, not as a partner, a lover, or a best friend, but as a human being with the strengths and weaknesses and even the core of a child. The Pain Stops: when you begin to accept that what you would do in a circumstance is not what they would do, and that no matter how much you try, they have to learn their own lessons, and they have to touch the stove when it's hot, just as you did, to learn that it is much better when it is cold. The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away, when making love to them no longer makes you feel cherished, when you find yourself tired of waiting for the moments where the good will truly outweigh the bad, and when at the end of the day you can't count on their arms for comfort. The Pain Stops: when you start to look inward and decide whether their presence is a gift or a curse, and whether when you need them, they cause more heartache than bliss. The Pain Stops: when you realize that you deserve more than they offer and stop blaming them for being less than you wish. When the smile of a stranger seems more inviting and kind, and you remember what it's like to feel beautiful, and you remember how long it has been since your lover whispered something in your ear that only the two of you would know. The Pain Stops: when you forgive them for their faults and forgive yourself for staying so long. When you know that you tried harder than you ever tried before, and you know in your heart that love should not be so much work. The Pain Stops: when you start to look in the mirror and like who you see, and know that leaving them or losing them is no reflection of your beauty or your worth. The Pain Stops: when the promise of a new tomorrow is just enough to start replacing the emptiness in your heart, and you start dreaming again of who you used to be and who you will become. The Pain Stops: when you say goodbye to what never really was, and accept that somewhere in the fog you may or may not have been loved back. And you promise yourself never again to lay in arms that don't know how to cherish the kindness in your heart. The Pain Stops: When you are ready. __________________ "What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ~ Richard Bach.

01-13-2006, 11:40 AM	#2 (permalink)
softasylum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: the universal mind Posts: 9	What a beautiful, powerful post-hurts and soothes simultaneously-wow-thank you so much nytepassion xoxo __________________ deliver me from reasons why you'd rather cry---I'd rather fly....

01-13-2006, 12:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
guyinNC Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Lost in NC Posts: 416	Beautiful You are a poet.

01-13-2006, 12:38 PM	#6 (permalink)
TexasGirl Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 782	Nyte, I always enjoy each of your posts. They give me such an uplifting feeling of hope. Thanks. __________________ Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~AnaÃ¯s Nin

01-13-2006, 12:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	lovely - it does come from the heart! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

01-13-2006, 11:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
Anguished Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Maryland Posts: 64	Nytepassion, Your post is very eye-opening to me... So truthful... I feel like I can affirm all of it... Excellent post... Thanks for sharing... Anguished

01-13-2006, 12:06 PM	#5 (permalink)
unstablelady Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Devon UK Posts: 16	I'm guessing that came straight from the heart ? ... Beautiful xxx Sharon

01-13-2006, 01:03 PM	#8 (permalink)
pmaslan Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 2,333	I hope you don't mind that I printed this.... I think it will be a good reminder for me Thanks for posting this today..... __________________ Patty you either make dust...or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown Jr.

01-13-2006, 03:09 PM	#9 (permalink)
sarahlynnl Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: dennis, ms Posts: 26	Lovely post and something that I so needed to read today. When I get a printer again it will be one of the first things that I print out. Thanks!

01-13-2006, 04:12 PM	#11 (permalink)
sunshinebluesky Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: north carolina Posts: 365	hit it right on for me. a definate print out i need to do!! thanks and hugs. __________________ I answer to two people--myself, and God.

01-14-2006, 07:11 AM	#12 (permalink)
reader Alcohol is a cruel mistress!!! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: crownpoint newyork Posts: 814	Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom!!!! Inspiring...... __________________ Kerry __________Don't Tread On Me______________________ To Thine Own Self Be True!!!!

01-14-2006, 08:58 AM	#13 (permalink)
Numb Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: wayne, Michigan Posts: 21	I printed this too, it was what I needed, I am in pain and this is great. Thanks, Kris

06-29-2006, 04:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
TexasGirl Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 782	Hey all -- I wanted to bump this post. It was one of my favorites I printed to keep, and when I found it in my folder the other day, I wanted everyone to be able to read it now too. __________________ Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~AnaÃ¯s Nin

06-29-2006, 07:44 PM	#16 (permalink)
fartheralong Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Nowhere TX Posts: 60	I love this. I hope you don' tmind that I'm saving it and printing it. Wow. FA

06-29-2006, 09:52 PM	#17 (permalink)
Aquiana Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: In my own world... Posts: 444	Wow, that was awesome! __________________ Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.

06-29-2006, 10:21 PM	#18 (permalink)
StandingStrong Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: In Search of Finding ME! Posts: 1,246	Alot of great ones there!!!! thanks!

06-30-2006, 02:32 PM	#19 (permalink)
Janitw Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: OHIO Posts: 929	On this weekend being the 1year anniversary of my husbands leaving us ... this really his home with me in a way that nothing else has all year long. It makes me cry for what was and also for what will be. I'm just so tired of all of it and I now want to just move on and not care what he's done to the kids and I. Thank You so much - I needed this very much. XOXOXOXO Janet

07-25-2006, 08:41 AM	#20 (permalink)
Pick-a-name Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,580	Bump...

07-25-2006, 08:44 AM	#21 (permalink)
pmaslan Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 2,333	good idea Pick...I just read it again, I think with so many new people it is definately a good read for them..... __________________ Patty you either make dust...or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown Jr.

07-25-2006, 09:23 AM	#22 (permalink)
Jwife22 Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: SC Posts: 1,027	Wow...........that's all I can really say.

07-25-2006, 01:13 PM	#23 (permalink)
Tally Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: England Posts: 735	Gosh, that hit me hard. Am sitting here in tears.. Powerful and honest words but also beautiful.. You definately spoke to me with that post. Thanks you xxx

07-25-2006, 02:44 PM	#24 (permalink)
blizzard77 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NC Posts: 240	You definitely gave me something to think about today. I'm trying to decide if staying with my RHA (5months, I think). I don't know if I have anything left to give. Now, he's ready to try and I feel burned out from eight years of the insanity that our lives have become. thanks, Michelle

07-25-2006, 07:57 PM	#25 (permalink)
Pixie Dust Pixie Dust Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: N.Canton,Ohio Posts: 7	Thank you so much for that!! I printed it & it's right beside my pc where I can see it everyday.

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