Spin-off Thread from "Love & Hate"

[Texxie]

So did I fall in love with the person/addict combo?

TexasGirl asked this question in the Love & Hate thread that Heathenwench started. I think it's worth a thread of its own to explore, because that's been exactly my question/fear with my C. I'm kinda nervous and anxious about what our relationship will be like once he gets out of jail. He's been forcibly sober for a year, but I don't think his essential attitude has changed. (Isn't that called a dry drunk?)

I'm super-new to all this... I don't drink, never have, and I come from a family that has never drank. So be gentle with me, please!

Anybody have any stories/experiences to share?

[cupowater]

Dry drunk is when they still have the mood swings and attitudes they had when they are an active "A". I know my father would get like that. It was as if he was still drinking. Thats why they still need the help of AA and maybe even a counslor to help.

[TexasGirl]

Hey Texxie,
I fell in love with a drinker. I didn't know I fell in love with an alcholic. I thought alcoholics were just bums or homeless people. I know, I know, that sounds ridiculous! At that time, I thought it was great that I had fallen for a guy who liked to party. I always hated how boring my mom and dad were, and I refused to end up like that, sitting at home staring at the TV night after night. He was exciting and loved to have a good time. And I, at 21 years old, loved to have a good time too!! Can you believe that I dismissed alcohol-induced incontenince with, well he just got a little too drunk last night. I didn't have a clue. I only started to realize when I started growing out of drinking, and he started progressing further in his disease.

As for what happens when he comes home, first I guess actions speak louder than words. Second, as I've been told, there's a difference between quitting drinking and being in recovery. I'm still learning all of this stuff too, so I guess I'll stop now and let the experts take over...