His Grandmother passed away last night... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Savana 54 · 10-18-2005, 03:49 PM

I got a phone call on my vm this afternoon that exabf's Grandmother passed away. I feel bad, as exabf and I had become very close to her and his Grandfather when he became sober. His Grandfather was in AA and I think the president or whatever you call it. His Grandmother was a long time Al-Anoner until her health started to deteriorate.

At least she lived part of her life with her husband sober and was able to enjoy his sobriety after so many long and difficult years of his drinking.She felt the effects of having some of her children being active alcoholics.

I just wanted to say that I was so lucky to have known such a wonderful and strong woman!! May you rest in peace P....

cwohio · 10-18-2005, 03:52 PM

sorry for this loss - i know this is probably not helping you at this time. thank God they were able to enjoy many good years together!

Cynay · 10-18-2005, 03:54 PM

*hugs*

Sorry to hear that... sending you my prayers...

pmaslan · 10-18-2005, 04:21 PM

it seems to be pouring where your at.....(when it rains it pours)
I am so sorry to hear this, I know one more thing is not what you need right now.
I am glad you were able to be a part of her life.

Savana 54 · 10-18-2005, 04:37 PM

I thought about going to her funeral; thought it would be good for me to take a nice long drive (8 hours) but exabf's family will be there and don't know if thats such a good idea. He won't be there, as he is in back east somewhere.

Jazzman · 10-18-2005, 04:39 PM

It might be healthier for YOU, if you mourned her passing in another way... just a thought.

equus · 10-18-2005, 04:41 PM

I'm so sorry, I wish I could think of something sensible to say. Just I'm thinking of you.

Cynay · 10-18-2005, 04:55 PM

I have to agree with Jazz.

Number 1 is that your struggling as it is... why open that can of worms.

Number 2 is that you dont know how they are going to react to you... if I remember the ex was not to nice about the things he was saying about you when this all happened.

Number 3 is .... Gas prices are too high.... bahh ... *shrugs* pray about this one hon, she knows how you felt about her... do you really need the issues right now?

Minx1969 · 10-18-2005, 04:56 PM

Hey Savana,

Don't know if you remember but about a month ago my exABF father died..It was really tough for me cuz I really loved him..

I thought about going to the funeral but decided that my serenity was more important..

I sent flowers and a card to his family..

When my exABF called to thank me, he left a message..

I didn't return his call..

I had to do what was right for me..and that was to stay away..it wasn't an easy decision for me to make.

gelfling · 10-18-2005, 05:30 PM

Savana, if you're feeling the need to do something, consider sending a card to his grandfather. Just an idea.

Savana 54 · 10-18-2005, 06:02 PM

Thank you alllll!!!

Oh yes, thanks for jogging my memory Minx, I'm a little absent minded these days.

How much do you think flowers would cost? I have no clue. Kind of on a budget would like to send something. His Grandfather is really old and kind of forgetful, I wonder if he would even remember my name, as he always called me by another name.

:

Savana 54 · 10-18-2005, 09:03 PM

I found a really nice care and I'm sending that out tomorrow. The sad part about it, besides her passing, is that I had to call a friend that lives in the same town as exabf's family, the same town we lived in together and were he got sober, anyway the reason I called is to ask this friend if his Grandmother really did pass on. He is such a liar and will manipulate and try to get sympathy anyway he can, I wouldn't put it past him, but he wasn't lying.

minnie · 10-19-2005, 02:15 AM

Savana - I am so sorry to hear the sad news.

Don't beat yourself up for checking the facts - remember my post last week about not believing my ex about his dad being diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, that is true as well. If they cry wolf often enough, then we have to check first.

Cap3 · 10-19-2005, 07:08 AM

Sorry to hear.
My prayers go to you and all who knew Grandmother.
May she rest in God,s Peace,and Love.

10-18-2005, 03:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
Savana 54 too much on my plate!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: not kissing frogs anymore Posts: 646	His Grandmother passed away last night... I got a phone call on my vm this afternoon that exabf's Grandmother passed away. I feel bad, as exabf and I had become very close to her and his Grandfather when he became sober. His Grandfather was in AA and I think the president or whatever you call it. His Grandmother was a long time Al-Anoner until her health started to deteriorate. At least she lived part of her life with her husband sober and was able to enjoy his sobriety after so many long and difficult years of his drinking.She felt the effects of having some of her children being active alcoholics. I just wanted to say that I was so lucky to have known such a wonderful and strong woman!! May you rest in peace P.... __________________ There's no way around the pain, you just have to walk through it...

10-18-2005, 03:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	sorry for this loss - i know this is probably not helping you at this time. thank God they were able to enjoy many good years together! __________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

10-18-2005, 04:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
pmaslan Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 2,333	it seems to be pouring where your at.....(when it rains it pours) I am so sorry to hear this, I know one more thing is not what you need right now. I am glad you were able to be a part of her life. __________________ Patty you either make dust...or eat dust. H. Jackson Brown Jr.

10-18-2005, 04:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Savana 54 too much on my plate!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: not kissing frogs anymore Posts: 646	I thought about going to her funeral; thought it would be good for me to take a nice long drive (8 hours) but exabf's family will be there and don't know if thats such a good idea. He won't be there, as he is in back east somewhere. __________________ There's no way around the pain, you just have to walk through it...

10-18-2005, 04:56 PM	#9 (permalink)
Minx1969 Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Arizona Posts: 928	Hey Savana, Don't know if you remember but about a month ago my exABF father died..It was really tough for me cuz I really loved him.. I thought about going to the funeral but decided that my serenity was more important.. I sent flowers and a card to his family.. When my exABF called to thank me, he left a message.. I didn't return his call.. I had to do what was right for me..and that was to stay away..it wasn't an easy decision for me to make. __________________ Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want. Martha Beck, O Magazine, February 2003

10-18-2005, 03:54 PM	#3 (permalink)
Cynay Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,836	hugs Sorry to hear that... sending you my prayers...

10-18-2005, 04:39 PM	#6 (permalink)
Jazzman Occasional poor taste poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Back of the class, Northern VA Posts: 2,255	It might be healthier for YOU, if you mourned her passing in another way... just a thought.

10-18-2005, 04:41 PM	#7 (permalink)
equus Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: uk Posts: 3,055	I'm so sorry, I wish I could think of something sensible to say. Just I'm thinking of you.

10-18-2005, 04:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
Cynay Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,836	I have to agree with Jazz. Number 1 is that your struggling as it is... why open that can of worms. Number 2 is that you dont know how they are going to react to you... if I remember the ex was not to nice about the things he was saying about you when this all happened. Number 3 is .... Gas prices are too high.... bahh ... shrugs pray about this one hon, she knows how you felt about her... do you really need the issues right now?

10-18-2005, 06:02 PM	#11 (permalink)
Savana 54 too much on my plate!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: not kissing frogs anymore Posts: 646	Thank you alllll!!! Oh yes, thanks for jogging my memory Minx, I'm a little absent minded these days. How much do you think flowers would cost? I have no clue. Kind of on a budget would like to send something. His Grandfather is really old and kind of forgetful, I wonder if he would even remember my name, as he always called me by another name. : __________________ There's no way around the pain, you just have to walk through it...

10-18-2005, 09:03 PM	#12 (permalink)
Savana 54 too much on my plate!! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: not kissing frogs anymore Posts: 646	I found a really nice care and I'm sending that out tomorrow. The sad part about it, besides her passing, is that I had to call a friend that lives in the same town as exabf's family, the same town we lived in together and were he got sober, anyway the reason I called is to ask this friend if his Grandmother really did pass on. He is such a liar and will manipulate and try to get sympathy anyway he can, I wouldn't put it past him, but he wasn't lying. __________________ There's no way around the pain, you just have to walk through it...

10-19-2005, 02:15 AM	#13 (permalink)
minnie Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: England Posts: 3,410	Savana - I am so sorry to hear the sad news. Don't beat yourself up for checking the facts - remember my post last week about not believing my ex about his dad being diagnosed with cancer. Unfortunately, that is true as well. If they cry wolf often enough, then we have to check first.

10-19-2005, 07:08 AM	#14 (permalink)
Cap3 Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 727	Sorry to hear. My prayers go to you and all who knew Grandmother. May she rest in God,s Peace,and Love.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode