What's YOUR program?

[StandingStrong]

I think everyone has their own kind of program. Some may insist on going to face to face alanon meetings, some may believe that following the steps in order is the very best approach, - but I think it's more important to find what works for YOU, even if it's not the recommended program or the one that someone else does.
I have my own weird kind of program. Actually, it's not a real program. But I believe that I've come a very long way in my recovery. I'm not the same person I was a few years ago. Others see it besides myself and that makes me feel good about myself. Shows me that I am getting better.
Anyways....
I come to this site.
I have read about everything I can about alcoholicism, and it's effects on people (the user and the non user). I'm much more educated than I ever was about this topic. I've also studied codependancy.
I also read books concerning relationships. (I've mentioned Dr. Harley here before, he's my favorite). I've learned alot about relationships and myself. I'm much better with relationships than I ever was before - with my family, my friends, ah, - just everyone. (this includes the relationship I have with myself)
I am one of those people that seeks to learn. I've always been that way - I have a need to understand things. Saying it's so just isn't good enough for me. So I try to learn why I am the way I am, why this and why that. I look for the root of the problem - not to fix the branches.
My "program" if you call it that is discovering everything there is to know about ME! Learning to set boundaries. Learning to express my true feelings and to express exactly what it is that I need from others and myself.
So while I may not have a complete planned program (the steps of Alanon, I've done and redone) I've added my own things to it. And have tried to come up with something that works for me. Is it working? Well, I'd like to believe so. But I admit I have a long way to go. Then again, I believe a person should never stop growing so hopefully I'll never be done with my program of finding myself.
What about you? What's your program?

[best]

Reading the bible and trust in God is my program.
After finding a sober way of living, through reading and studying the bible, I found that the 12 steps mirror the same things I had learned from God's word.
So 12 steps as I have found them through God's word is my program.

[Cap3]

First for me even before i found recovery programs i started to learn about the teachings of Dr.Wayne W Dryer.My mentor!!!!!Then,My recovery programs first with Al-anon,then AA.For 5 years steady i stuck faithfully to these teachings,of the 12 steps.I wanted foundation.Then i started to read and apply the Holy bible to my life.There is a host of books i have here.All of them are in a-linement,with what all the above teaches.Only says it in a different way.Im really into the spiritual books.Just luv them.Reading now about not taking life and folks way to seriously,for at times i can do this.What this does is hurt me.Then im hurful towards others demanding that they change,..Still,i need to work on this in myself.Ho hum.The book,who do you,think you,are anyways....hehehee,,sounds like its just up my ally...lol.Can't make out the authers name.I borrowed this book from a friend.Its teachings is to be in "spirit".looks good.

[liveweyerd]

Mine is similar to yours Standing Strong, I derive much from a diversity of sources and also believe learning and growing (evolving) is an ongoing quest as long as we live.
I have no ONE program, but I have a diversity of sources of education and wisdom.
hugs,
live

[CarolD]

thanks! Basically....

I practice the Golden Rule and don't drink.

[susane1408]

My way is pretty much like yours too SS.

I've taken everything I can from all the sources that I have found so far and researched them; tried out what fits the need in each situation that occurs, and have run with the ones that work.
Like a few others on SR, I am lucky in that my partner will communicate with me and work with me.
Today is our 7 weeks sober anniversary

[equus]

To begin with SR was the only community where I talked about living with and loving someone with big alcohol problems, individually I read, listened and thought about things - none of which I regret.

I also used alcoholism counselling, but only one or two sessions, I used the help line when I needed to touch base. For me it was important to have reliable feedback that I hadn't shot off in the wrong direction through my reading and listening, I wanted an addiction proffessional's input.

My first step into a more structured approach was to take up our workplace counselling service, I had 6 free sessions and I worked hard at it. It came to a natural end as we simply ran out of things to discuss.

Throughout this, from first coming to SR to about April this year I let friends in real life knowmore and more about what was happening, in particular my longest friend. The real life support was needed and SR provided support from others who'd been through similar things.

Then D had/nearly had a breakdown with a full relapse. That rapidly opened up services to both of us, which we've both used fully. We had as many sessions as we could/wanted to squeeze in with an addiction counsellor who had come from a mental health background. She used 'Task Centered Social Work' to work with us as a unit, partnership, interdependent couple. It isn't a global treatment it was tailored to us and I believe that atiloring has made a tangible difference in the excellent results it's had.

Now? Unfortunately our counsellor moved, D is so much better some of the services offered freely last month are a little more scarce. I've been reading about CBT and trying to apply some of it's principles - so has D. Hopefully I'm already signed on to teh waiting list to recieve CBT.

In the meanwhile we were left with some tasks that also seem to be having powerful effects. I'm still at SR and something else has happened, my best friend and her partner have come round us, I feel as though we are as much a little unit of 4 as we were of 2!! Although unrecognisabley better D is still a long way off 100% but he gets support from them too. I have an evening meeting and they invite him to tea. I need a break so my best friend is coming with me on a mini holiday while her other half stays with D so they can look after all four dogs and play video games.

I learned to talk about it here and that spread into real life. I'm still learning here and I wonder what else will spread into real life?

I wish we hadn't lost our counsellor, at first I was afraid and felt unready to lose the structure but as we began the tasks she left I realised why she felt we would be okay. We can always go back and see if we strike it just as lucky with a second counsellor.

So I think 3 things have mattered to me:

** Human contact, friendship and support.
** Learning, reading, checking, - homework!!
** Structure, outside, qualified, good quality guidance.