I finally saw the neon flashing! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

walkingtheline · 05-23-2005, 09:55 AM

Sometimes I am just BLIND!

I SEE the alcohol...and even when I don't, I see the inability to walk, to speak clearly and I certainly smell it. And it happens every day. Reality crashed last night. I don't think it's just alcohol, now I think it's drugs as well.

I am fairly sure it's a depressant...he sleeps WAY too much. And sadly, I suspect it's heroin. I do NOT see his body...we've not been intimate since last year. I've told him I am DONE and have insisted he leave me alone. We do not share a bed. He's taken to wearing long sleeves. He sits in his car and "nods offs".

And now, the might-as-well-be-flashing-neon. I am suspecting he's supporting this new habit by selling. People knocking on the door LATE last night. Phone calls from voices unfamiliar on the house phone and he's glued to his cell phone. A neighbor called this am, complaining that the ABF almost hit him (with the car) leaving our building around 1:30 am. His sleep habits have changed drastically...he passed out yesterday around 6 pm, was up at midnight with the TV blasting, apparently he went out, now, it's almost 10 am and he's still in the bed. He needs to leave for work in about an hour, I am suspecting this will be yet ANOTHER monday where he'll call off sick.

Pray those people in the house MOVE OUT-I need to move in ASAP! I work from home. I need this computer and the phone to earn a living, so moving to a temp arrangement would be extremly difficult, the phone company needs 5 days notice to move the service. The calls, the knocking, the driving out in the middle of the night are new behaviors. I am praying if the cops are going to kick in the door or he dies from an overdose, it happens AFTER I move.

I am so angry with myself for getting "hooked up" with this...person.
Because of the industry I work in, if I were arrested (even if I were not actually charged..i.e., once they sorted it out I was cleared) I would ALWAYS have to disclose the arrest to various state agencies and it would threaten my abilty to earn a living.

NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN!

**Cynay** · 05-23-2005, 10:01 AM

ACK..... hugs and prayers coming your way!

Im sorry that this neon sign was such a horrible one, but I guess what they say is true. The truth will set you free and BOY did you get alot of truth

escape artist · 05-23-2005, 11:30 AM

praying for your protection (((walking)))! keep your eyes on that light at the end of the tunnel!!

gelfling · 05-23-2005, 11:37 AM

Be safe!!!

cwohio · 05-23-2005, 12:53 PM

WTL - i am sorry yet another ugly thing rears it's head! i pray you will be safe until you can move!!!!

FormerDoormat · 05-23-2005, 08:47 PM

((((wtl)))))

Mr. Christian · 05-23-2005, 08:58 PM

WTL,

I’m sorry to here this I really am.
I think you are right, someone needs to leave.
We had a dealer live next door to us until the cops brought him down. There were people going in and out all hours of the day, it was bad.
I’m sorry to hear you going through this.
What are you waiting for as far as others moving?
You have a place picked out?

05-23-2005, 09:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
walkingtheline Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Anaheim,CA Posts: 549	I finally saw the neon flashing! Sometimes I am just BLIND! I SEE the alcohol...and even when I don't, I see the inability to walk, to speak clearly and I certainly smell it. And it happens every day. Reality crashed last night. I don't think it's just alcohol, now I think it's drugs as well. I am fairly sure it's a depressant...he sleeps WAY too much. And sadly, I suspect it's heroin. I do NOT see his body...we've not been intimate since last year. I've told him I am DONE and have insisted he leave me alone. We do not share a bed. He's taken to wearing long sleeves. He sits in his car and "nods offs". And now, the might-as-well-be-flashing-neon. I am suspecting he's supporting this new habit by selling. People knocking on the door LATE last night. Phone calls from voices unfamiliar on the house phone and he's glued to his cell phone. A neighbor called this am, complaining that the ABF almost hit him (with the car) leaving our building around 1:30 am. His sleep habits have changed drastically...he passed out yesterday around 6 pm, was up at midnight with the TV blasting, apparently he went out, now, it's almost 10 am and he's still in the bed. He needs to leave for work in about an hour, I am suspecting this will be yet ANOTHER monday where he'll call off sick. Pray those people in the house MOVE OUT-I need to move in ASAP! I work from home. I need this computer and the phone to earn a living, so moving to a temp arrangement would be extremly difficult, the phone company needs 5 days notice to move the service. The calls, the knocking, the driving out in the middle of the night are new behaviors. I am praying if the cops are going to kick in the door or he dies from an overdose, it happens AFTER I move. I am so angry with myself for getting "hooked up" with this...person. Because of the industry I work in, if I were arrested (even if I were not actually charged..i.e., once they sorted it out I was cleared) I would ALWAYS have to disclose the arrest to various state agencies and it would threaten my abilty to earn a living. NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN!
	__________________ Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. -Robert Fulghum

05-23-2005, 11:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
escape artist Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: over the rainbow Posts: 344	praying for your protection (((walking)))! keep your eyes on that light at the end of the tunnel!!
	__________________ *********** The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein

05-23-2005, 12:53 PM	#5 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	WTL - i am sorry yet another ugly thing rears it's head! i pray you will be safe until you can move!!!!
	__________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

05-23-2005, 08:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
FormerDoormat Wipe your paws elsewhere! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Puppy Heaven Posts: 2,843	((((wtl)))))
	__________________ "Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?--Geneen Roth "The bare minimum my partner needs to give me is 100%."--Wpgwoman

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05-23-2005, 10:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
Cynay Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,683	ACK..... hugs and prayers coming your way! Im sorry that this neon sign was such a horrible one, but I guess what they say is true. The truth will set you free and BOY did you get alot of truth

05-23-2005, 08:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
Mr. Christian My Cape Is at The Cleaners Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Metropolis Posts: 1,117	WTL, I’m sorry to here this I really am. I think you are right, someone needs to leave. We had a dealer live next door to us until the cops brought him down. There were people going in and out all hours of the day, it was bad. I’m sorry to hear you going through this. What are you waiting for as far as others moving? You have a place picked out?

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