Calm this week

[Rose56]

Hi folks, I am feeling calm this week. I have attended some additional Alanon meetings and I do feel calmer. I am trying to focus on me. I have been writing in my journal almost every night. But I still don't have a plan of action. I don't know how to respond to my ever changing husband and our situation. I can focus on myself but what about the realities? Like he still doesn't have a job and the credit card he is using is adding up. I think I should be doing something else. I am thinking about getting a second job. Any thoughts?

[bonbon]

((((((Rose))))))))

It is so hard to get a plan together, start with little things, and sometimes those little things really can add up to a complete plan that is right for you. Stop worrying about how you should or would react to your husband, that is worrying about what ifs, I had to stop worrying about things that had not happened yet, I was REALLY bad about that. For the first time in almost 9 years I stopped reacting to my A and he doesn't know how to act or what to think. It is amazing to watch.

Hang in there, a part time job sounds good, but if your doing it to spend more time away from home, it is the wrong reason.

Your a wonderful person and deserve the best!!!

Love ya!

[Ann]

Rose

It sounds like you already have a plan...to work on your recovery ang gain some calm moments. When you are calm, the clarity comes.

If he is using the credit card and expecting you to pay, I would take it away or call the bank and tell them he cannot pay and you will not. If taking a second job is just to pay for this, I would not do it.

I agree with Bonbon, that making a plan can start with little things. To try to plan the whole picture is too overwhelming all at once. Make a list of the things that trouble you. Then one item at a time, think of what you can do to solve that problem, or to work through it.

You are an amazing lady and have really come such a long way. My prayers are with you.