Well, here is the plan... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

JennyK · 01-05-2005, 08:14 PM

my husband has been fanatically cleaning our house. He has never done this before.

Tonight, and yes, he had had some beer, that he is getting the house ready for when he leaves for rehab.

He told me that he wants to have every thing set before he goes in a few weeks. He is going to speak to my father about helping us financially, so I will not have to worry. This alone is HUGE for my husband to even consider doing. He is going to tell his mother and his brother. Then he is going to have his therapist call and make the arrangements for him to enter a 14-28 day program.

I am scared that I believe that he just might do it. I so hope that he does and yet I am terrified of him being gone for so long (he will be in another state and there are no family visits in this program).

It is odd, it is like I express my feelings and emotions here and the very next day he changes something in his behavior.

What a ride we are on....I will keep you all posted.

Jenny

keepingthefaith · 01-05-2005, 08:26 PM

Wishing you both the best of luck! Yes, it's possible he'll go in... it's possible he'll back out, too. Or both -- change his mind this time, but go in later on. Just be supportive where you can and try not to be judgemental. This coming from my thoughts on if it were my AH getting ready to go in -- I cannot imagine that day yet, but you're giving me hope!

If he goes, use this time for you. Focus on what you want to accomplish, what some goals for yourself are. Learning to be stronger individuals can bring you into a stronger marriage if you both work at it.

faith

hope2bhappy · 01-05-2005, 08:35 PM

If being alone is your main concern, you'll be just fine. My H has been deployed twice (not out of the state, but out of the country) for a year at a time. It's not that bad -- especially in light of the good things that may come back to you.

Dee at Mt Bully · 01-05-2005, 08:55 PM

Jenny--here's hoping he sticks to his plan. Being alone will go fast and you can work
on your own issues and be ready to be supportive when he returns. Think about
all the positive things. I hope for both of you that this is the time. Smiles--Dee

cwohio · 01-06-2005, 06:18 AM

jenny - i hope and pray that this unfolds into a start of recovery for your ah and continued recovery for you. like the others said above, use this time to really get in touch with YOU and you always have your sr family so you won't ever truly be alone.

what i wouldn't give for some alone time (lol)

hugs - cwohio

Buster · 01-06-2005, 08:50 AM

My AH started a 30 day program on tuesday - it has been 7 weeks since he was assessed and I really thought he would chicken out and not go when the time came. We have family visits on Sundays and therapy every wednesday so it is not a isolated as the program you mentioned. You know...you do get an inner strength to cope and as I was told when I left him at the centre " you have dealt with worse sitautions and harder times than this"

I hope and pray that he does do through with this - for himself and for you

hang in there

lonlion · 01-06-2005, 09:05 AM

Jenny; I can understand where your husband is at totally. I decided to get help in March of 2003. Went to the hospital and signed up for detox followed by the treatment centre. Even though I was still using until the day I went which was May 2003, I was determined in my mind that I was going to go through with it.

I went home and told all my family members of my plans as well as close friends. It's like a phycological gearing up for what you know you have to do.

All the best to him in treatment, it will be the best thing he can do for himself and those he loves. You will be fine without him, and keep in mind the reasons for his absence.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you
Diana

wraybear · 01-06-2005, 06:38 PM

This is great news. I will pray that he follows through. I know it must be an exciting time, yet a little stressful too. jennyk, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!

JessicaNAJ · 01-06-2005, 08:10 PM

I think I would faint if my AH even considered a in-house treatment - and make the arrangements on his own.

Good luck to both of you!!

JessicaNAJ · 01-06-2005, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cwohio

what i wouldn't give for some alone time (lol)

My AH did 30 days in jail 5 years ago - it was the best 30 days I had in a long time....lol

01-05-2005, 08:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
JennyK Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: US Posts: 316	Well, here is the plan... my husband has been fanatically cleaning our house. He has never done this before. Tonight, and yes, he had had some beer, that he is getting the house ready for when he leaves for rehab. He told me that he wants to have every thing set before he goes in a few weeks. He is going to speak to my father about helping us financially, so I will not have to worry. This alone is HUGE for my husband to even consider doing. He is going to tell his mother and his brother. Then he is going to have his therapist call and make the arrangements for him to enter a 14-28 day program. I am scared that I believe that he just might do it. I so hope that he does and yet I am terrified of him being gone for so long (he will be in another state and there are no family visits in this program). It is odd, it is like I express my feelings and emotions here and the very next day he changes something in his behavior. What a ride we are on....I will keep you all posted. Jenny

01-05-2005, 08:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
keepingthefaith Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: montana Posts: 22	Wishing you both the best of luck! Yes, it's possible he'll go in... it's possible he'll back out, too. Or both -- change his mind this time, but go in later on. Just be supportive where you can and try not to be judgemental. This coming from my thoughts on if it were my AH getting ready to go in -- I cannot imagine that day yet, but you're giving me hope! If he goes, use this time for you. Focus on what you want to accomplish, what some goals for yourself are. Learning to be stronger individuals can bring you into a stronger marriage if you both work at it. faith
	__________________ If you love someone, the greatest gift you can give them is your presence. The sun always rises, and a new day begins.

01-06-2005, 06:18 AM	#5 (permalink)
cwohio Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Litterbox City Posts: 6,142	jenny - i hope and pray that this unfolds into a start of recovery for your ah and continued recovery for you. like the others said above, use this time to really get in touch with YOU and you always have your sr family so you won't ever truly be alone. what i wouldn't give for some alone time (lol) hugs - cwohio
	__________________ *Learn to write your hurts in sand. Learn to carve your blessings in stone! - Unknown*

01-06-2005, 08:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
Buster Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Ireland Posts: 79	re My AH started a 30 day program on tuesday - it has been 7 weeks since he was assessed and I really thought he would chicken out and not go when the time came. We have family visits on Sundays and therapy every wednesday so it is not a isolated as the program you mentioned. You know...you do get an inner strength to cope and as I was told when I left him at the centre " you have dealt with worse sitautions and harder times than this" I hope and pray that he does do through with this - for himself and for you hang in there
	__________________ Life may not be the party we hoped for....but while we are there, we might as well dance

01-06-2005, 09:05 AM	#7 (permalink)
lonlion Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 422	Jenny; I can understand where your husband is at totally. I decided to get help in March of 2003. Went to the hospital and signed up for detox followed by the treatment centre. Even though I was still using until the day I went which was May 2003, I was determined in my mind that I was going to go through with it. I went home and told all my family members of my plans as well as close friends. It's like a phycological gearing up for what you know you have to do. All the best to him in treatment, it will be the best thing he can do for himself and those he loves. You will be fine without him, and keep in mind the reasons for his absence. My thoughts and prayers go out to you Diana
	__________________ WHEN WE SPEND TOO MUCH TIME LOOKING IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR, IT TAKES OUR FOCUS OFF THE ROAD AHEAD, AND WE CAN CRASH

01-05-2005, 08:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
hope2bhappy Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Dixie Posts: 609	If being alone is your main concern, you'll be just fine. My H has been deployed twice (not out of the state, but out of the country) for a year at a time. It's not that bad -- especially in light of the good things that may come back to you.

01-05-2005, 08:55 PM	#4 (permalink)
Dee at Mt Bully Dee at Mt Bully Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Placerville, Ca Posts: 251	Jenny--here's hoping he sticks to his plan. Being alone will go fast and you can work on your own issues and be ready to be supportive when he returns. Think about all the positive things. I hope for both of you that this is the time. Smiles--Dee

01-06-2005, 06:38 PM	#8 (permalink)
wraybear Caring for the 3 little bears Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Oz Posts: 511	This is great news. I will pray that he follows through. I know it must be an exciting time, yet a little stressful too. jennyk, you will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!
	__________________ wraybear

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