Intervention???

[queenofthehwy]

Has anyone out there done an intervention? How does it work, does it work?
What about "you can't make someone get help"?

I have been thinking about talking to his family about this, but I'm not sure about it. He is a high functioning A (goes to work everyday, fixes things around the house, etc). Is intervention just for inpatient treatment?

Sometimes I don't want to go through all the BS, sometimes I just want to cut ties and leave, with 3 kids it probably isn't that easy.

Anyway back to the topic, what do you guys think? Just an afterthought he is very defensive and would be oh so mad at me for talking to his fam.

Mindi

[cwohio]

queen - don't know much except what i have read. (i too have considered this). there are different types, not only in patient but out patient, etc. look on the internet for intervention info - that's what i did. good luck - i feel your pain!

hugs - cwohio

[ahcb]

Since you asked.....
I think intervention, in most cases is risky. If you read up on alcoholism the only thing I am sure of is not everyone, though it may appersr to you, is an alcoholic. And those that you would not think are, are text book cases. Has he sought out help in the past? Does his family share your concens? What surprised me in regard to my wife is how one side of the family had no clue, and the other said we knew for a long time. I may add neither side suggested anything.

I would read up on it or perhaps call a treatment ctr. I thought that an intervention was when you were placing him in a full time program....good luck....

[Chy]

An intervention for the person not willing to be accepting or willing to admit they have a problem will most likely not be effective. Quitting is a very personal realization we have to come to accept for ourselves. Though some will do it short term for the family, if they're not ready, they're not ready and any attempt will more than likely, be a temporary fix.

[queenofthehwy]

okay I don't want to seem needy but, anyone else????????

[drgnfly30]

I agree with really researching this first.. I don't know much about them but I do know that my AH would perceive it as an out & out attack on him, not an attempt to help him deal with a disease. It would not only throw him into a REAL bender but he would lose trust in those in attendance.. he needs to reach rock bottom on his own, he can't be pushed there.
JMHO
Christine

[allalone]

I think intervention can go either way and unfortunately you don't know how it will go until you do it! I kind of disagree with some of the other posts. They are absolutely correct, the user won't stop until there is a personal realization; however, the addicts tend to think they are pulling the wool over the eyes of family and friends. An intervention could be the first step in their self realization once they see that others around them DO SEE WHAT THEY ARE DOING. If it doesn't work- so be it- your no worse off then you already were - in my opinion. Hitting rock bottom for some would be having their families realize how far gone they are. I think you need to look at the specific person and make your decision. AS far as them not trusting you anymore or something like that- I just don't buy it. There an addict- go back and read "What addicts do". IMHO-They don't even trust or love themselves therfore they don't trust or love you now. Good Luck with whatever you do.

[Dee at Mt Bully]

Queen--are you alone in this thinking or are there family members or friends that
think this is a good idea. Personally I have had one experience with an intervention
and it did not go well. the person did not make any changes and pulled away from us
for awhile. I think it's pretty risky myself. I think you are doing the right thing by
doing lots of research. Good luck and Smiles--Dee

[Dinky]

Qweenofthehwy, I paid for an intervention this past July that was done by a drug and alcohol counsler that I was seeing. I first read a book called Intervention,how to help someone who doesn't want help, a step by step quide for families & friends of chemically dependent persons writen by Vernon E. Johnson. The book was very helpful and gave alot of insight on addiction and intervention. The intervention managed to get my AH to go to a 3 day detox and his confession to using Heroin and many other drugs. Today, he is still activly using. What is the ? But I pray he will one day want to stay off all drugs. Peace be with you. Dinky

[dreamcatcher]

My AH's employer and I did the intervention. The employer paid the cost's for the 28 day program. After it was all said and done and he continued to drink his respose was "it was your idea not mine". One thing I can say is I got alot out of the visits which were a 4 hour drive every Sunday. The family support meetings were great, so it wasn't all for nothing. Sorry can't be more help as everyone has said it is up to the individiual.

[wraybear]

I can't speak about it personally, but Dr. Phil did one with a 20 year old boy. Of course, we think it may be easier for a younger addict. Maybe you could get a copy of that show. He actually used to have some info on his website about it. Sorry, can't help other than that.

[queenofthehwy]

Queen--are you alone in this thinking or are there family members or friends that
think this is a good idea

No, his sisters think it's a good idea, I haven't talked to his dad. My family would support me too.

his respose was "it was your idea not mine".

I can totally hear my husband say the same thing.

Thanks for the advice. I am not ready to do anything yet, just keep reading and praying.

Mindi

[dax]

This is what I did. I had decided I could not take any more. I was a stay at home Mom but I was ready to leave anyway.. I called alanon. The lady there told me about a chapter 9 meeting[ the family afterwards -for alcoholics and those who love them]. She said - tell him you are going and ask him if he wants to go just to lisen. Say this does not mean you have to quit drinking[this terrifies alcoholics]. I did this and he said he would go. At the meeting he saw a person fron his work. He told me later he went up and took a desire chip just so she would not think I was the alcoholic. Well I was extrememly lucky in that he never drank again[26 years]. This is not the norm but it is a positive part of my story. hugs dax