Does an A ever change?

[Karivan]

My A hasn't had a beer in almost a month but I still don't like him. What's with that?? We're still sleeping in separate rooms and I can't even stand the thought of having sex with him. I thought once he stopped drinking we would get along a lot better. He still avoids responsibility and acts like a child.

My dog is really sick. We found out this week she has Addisons's disease, which means her adrenal glands stopped working. She was at the vets for 3 days and was in their ICU. She has to be on a lot of medications right now and they have to be taken on a schedule. I've been taking care of her but I have to go to work tomorrow and there are 2 times during the day that she has to take medication and he said he doesn't know how he is going to remember!! The thing is... if she doesn't have her medication she will die and I can't count on him to give it to her?? I'm so worried about it. It's not like she's going to have to take all of these forever... just until she stabalizes. Then it's down to a couple of pills a day.

I'm trying to come up with a plan so he remembers to give her the meds, like an alarm clock or something but you know... Why can't he remember??? Why do I have to remind him like he's a little kid?? He works graveyard so he sleeps during the day and won't hear the phone if I call so I've scheduled the medication so that he can give it to her when he gets home and when he wakes up... it's not like he has to wake up...

Anyway... thanks for listening. I know this isn't as terrible as what some people are going through but I love my dog... I just wish I had someone I could count on and support me and take care of my dog!

[osier59]

Hi Kari,
Is there a neighbor or someone who can do it? Maybe one of those pet sitters who can come over? I learned early on in my recovery that I had to quit trusting untrustworthy people. It appears that your beloved dog is much more important to you than it is to your A... so you may want to pay someone or figure out if you can work from home or take a break and run home so that you can take care of her.

Just a thought.... hugs and love to you, and your little dog too!
Love
Barb

[paradox]

How about notes in spots he's bound to see when he gets home and when he wakes up. If you put them where you know he'll see them. he won't have any excuses. It works at my house as long as I put them in the right spots like the fridge, the cabinet over the toilet on top of the remote control. You get the idea, places he can't miss.

[jeepgirl]

Hey Kari,
I agree with Osi, find another way then counting on your husband. My A is my daughter, but I have "needed" her to take care of things and she has let me down continually. It isn't worth it. I am presently working on staying out of her recovery, and would only ask her to do something that is non-essential. (I have 3 dogs!)
with love, jg