Lost A Close Friend
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Ithaca, NY
Posts: 8
Lost A Close Friend
I'm posting this to get out my feelings and put what I've seen "out there" so to speak. Yesterday, I lost a very close friend to the disease of alcoholism. She died due to complications of liver failure. We met many years ago in AA and developed a close bond. As far as I knew, she was still sober. She moved out of the area a little over a year ago (only an hour), but I did not get to see her as much. I had asked many times how her sobriety was going and she was tell me things were going fine. Little did I, or anyone else, know that they weren't. Over the past 8 or 9 months, my friend was perpetually ill. She never felt good, was consistently nauseous, and seemed to be having strange health issues. Five months ago, she was hospitalized due to what she said were "kidney issues." I did not know at the time she was hospitalized and when I inquired as to why she didn't call me, she said said she didn't want to bother me with it.
Unfortunately, she stayed sick. I saw her in February and noticed how sickly she looked-lost weight (very skinny), but her face was bloated. We talked and I told her she did not look well and that I was worried for her. Fast forward to a few weeks ago...I received a call from her husband stating she had been hospitalized due to liver failure. I was in complete shock. She was transferred to the ICU unit major hospital. I went to visit with her and was able to speak more with her husband. I was informed that it appeared she had been drinking secretly for over a year. Her husband found hidden vodka bottles all over the house, car, and in her purse. Her BAC upon admittance to the hospital was a .30...needless to say, we were all very shocked.
At the hospital, I learned she had pancreatitis, an enlarged gallbladder, severe GI bleeding, a brain bleed, and acute respiratory distress syndrome. She later developed kidney failure. The person I saw in the hospital did not look like my friend. In fact, I have never seen a person look the way she did. To be honest, it was very traumatic. Unfortunately, my friend passed away due to the complications of cirrhosis. I just needed to get this out to a community that knows the what the disease of alcoholism can do. Has anyone been through this? I'm at a loss and having a very hard time understand what just happened.
Unfortunately, she stayed sick. I saw her in February and noticed how sickly she looked-lost weight (very skinny), but her face was bloated. We talked and I told her she did not look well and that I was worried for her. Fast forward to a few weeks ago...I received a call from her husband stating she had been hospitalized due to liver failure. I was in complete shock. She was transferred to the ICU unit major hospital. I went to visit with her and was able to speak more with her husband. I was informed that it appeared she had been drinking secretly for over a year. Her husband found hidden vodka bottles all over the house, car, and in her purse. Her BAC upon admittance to the hospital was a .30...needless to say, we were all very shocked.
At the hospital, I learned she had pancreatitis, an enlarged gallbladder, severe GI bleeding, a brain bleed, and acute respiratory distress syndrome. She later developed kidney failure. The person I saw in the hospital did not look like my friend. In fact, I have never seen a person look the way she did. To be honest, it was very traumatic. Unfortunately, my friend passed away due to the complications of cirrhosis. I just needed to get this out to a community that knows the what the disease of alcoholism can do. Has anyone been through this? I'm at a loss and having a very hard time understand what just happened.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so very sorry for your loss.
Most of us in AA, if we stick around long enough, lose people to this disease. My second husband was hospitalized with something very similar to your friend's illness (kidney/liver failure) and he came close to death but pulled through. When he had recovered sufficiently to undergo a biopsy, it turned out he had EARLY cirrhosis but would be fine if he never drank again. Sadly, he went back to drinking a short time later and I had to leave because I couldn't bear to go through that again. Somehow all these years later, he's still alive--and still drinking. I don't keep in touch with him, which is for the best, but I can't imagine what his health now must be like.
All I can say is that alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. None of us can afford to take our recovery for granted.
Many hugs,
Most of us in AA, if we stick around long enough, lose people to this disease. My second husband was hospitalized with something very similar to your friend's illness (kidney/liver failure) and he came close to death but pulled through. When he had recovered sufficiently to undergo a biopsy, it turned out he had EARLY cirrhosis but would be fine if he never drank again. Sadly, he went back to drinking a short time later and I had to leave because I couldn't bear to go through that again. Somehow all these years later, he's still alive--and still drinking. I don't keep in touch with him, which is for the best, but I can't imagine what his health now must be like.
All I can say is that alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. None of us can afford to take our recovery for granted.
Many hugs,
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. It made me cry not only for you and your friend but also for a long time friend of mine who has been diagnosed with stage 3 to borderline 4 liver disease while she continues to struggle with drinking.
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