Hanging In There
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hanging In There
Hi,
It'll be 3 weeks on Tuesday since my final divorce hearing, and the hearing on the DV order. Hoping I'll hear something soon.
I think the DV order remains in place for an additional year, unless the judge listened to my AH lawyer and feels it should be overturned. I'm thinking it might be a good think that I haven't heard anything about the DV order. Maybe the judge doesn't feel like she should overturn it, or is just taking her time.
As to my division of property. All I know is I want it down fairly. Even though, my contribution to our 13 yr marriage/ relationship was about 75-80%, a 50-50 split is fine. Just want it over.
Our case shouldn't even gone to court, except my AH wanted it his way, and wasn't willing to negotiate.
It's difficult having your fate in the hands of a judge. I have to trust her to make a decision that is good for both parties. I'm sure she has dealt with situations like ours before.
I'm moving on slowly. It's a process, taking baby steps, but having more good than bad days. I never thought I'd be able to say that!
I'm looking forward to my wedding trip to Jamaica. That's coming up in a few weeks.
Letting go of your life and dreams, admitting to yourself that they're gone, but did exist is such a hard painful thing to do!
And realizing and believing you are in control of the new life and dreams ahead, takes a trust in oneself.
It's a good feeling, but scarey too!
I'm certainly getting there.
I have so many mixed feelings about my AH. They range from anger to pity. I think I've been fighting so hard to keep him out of my thoughts and life, not realizing I'm the one in control here not him.
Well, I'm rambling, but am in a much better place, and I'm looking at all the good things in life.
Thanks for listening!
Z
It'll be 3 weeks on Tuesday since my final divorce hearing, and the hearing on the DV order. Hoping I'll hear something soon.
I think the DV order remains in place for an additional year, unless the judge listened to my AH lawyer and feels it should be overturned. I'm thinking it might be a good think that I haven't heard anything about the DV order. Maybe the judge doesn't feel like she should overturn it, or is just taking her time.
As to my division of property. All I know is I want it down fairly. Even though, my contribution to our 13 yr marriage/ relationship was about 75-80%, a 50-50 split is fine. Just want it over.
Our case shouldn't even gone to court, except my AH wanted it his way, and wasn't willing to negotiate.
It's difficult having your fate in the hands of a judge. I have to trust her to make a decision that is good for both parties. I'm sure she has dealt with situations like ours before.
I'm moving on slowly. It's a process, taking baby steps, but having more good than bad days. I never thought I'd be able to say that!
I'm looking forward to my wedding trip to Jamaica. That's coming up in a few weeks.
Letting go of your life and dreams, admitting to yourself that they're gone, but did exist is such a hard painful thing to do!
And realizing and believing you are in control of the new life and dreams ahead, takes a trust in oneself.
It's a good feeling, but scarey too!
I'm certainly getting there.
I have so many mixed feelings about my AH. They range from anger to pity. I think I've been fighting so hard to keep him out of my thoughts and life, not realizing I'm the one in control here not him.
Well, I'm rambling, but am in a much better place, and I'm looking at all the good things in life.
Thanks for listening!
Z
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Zircon, there's no doubt in my mind that you're definitely moving right along in your life. Even if you feel like XAH is "winning" in some respects, in the bigger picture, I think it's pretty clear that you are the one who's coming out ahead.
Good going!
Good going!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
My lawyer was thinking it should be 2 weeks. I figured I'd hear sooner about the DV order. It doesn't matter to me, I think it stays enforced until the judge makes a decision.
I thought the DV order would be decided quickly, before the property settlement.
The thing is my AH is supposedly paying to have his guns stored, the judge knows that, it was made very clear to her. My AH probably want it decided sooner than later!
I'm hoping it's stays for the next year.
My feeling is, doesn't matter what the judge decides. There's going to be parts of her decision my AH won't like and will probably try to appeal if he can, so it would be really good if he didn't have access to an arsenal of weapons. He also has this angry, nasty girlfriend that's feeding into his anger!
Z
My lawyer was thinking it should be 2 weeks. I figured I'd hear sooner about the DV order. It doesn't matter to me, I think it stays enforced until the judge makes a decision.
I thought the DV order would be decided quickly, before the property settlement.
The thing is my AH is supposedly paying to have his guns stored, the judge knows that, it was made very clear to her. My AH probably want it decided sooner than later!
I'm hoping it's stays for the next year.
My feeling is, doesn't matter what the judge decides. There's going to be parts of her decision my AH won't like and will probably try to appeal if he can, so it would be really good if he didn't have access to an arsenal of weapons. He also has this angry, nasty girlfriend that's feeding into his anger!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, unfortunately court decisions are something you can't hurry along by complaining or checking up on it. And the thing is, too, that if the order is NOT extended, anything he does to harass you (directly or indirectly) might be a basis for getting a new one. I'd pursue that option sooner, rather than later, as soon as he does anything to alarm/distress you.
But hopefully the court will grant the extension. Just something to keep in mind--that it isn't a "done deal" if it isn't granted.
But hopefully the court will grant the extension. Just something to keep in mind--that it isn't a "done deal" if it isn't granted.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Lexie,
Thank you for letting me know that. I would have assumed there would be nothing I could do. When the judge decides it final. A question, you don't need to answer if it's not ok. If the judge decides, let's say my AH has 3months to buy me out or the house is listed for sale. Can my AH appeal that decision and ask for a hearing, to make this drag out longer?
Thanks
Z
Thank you for letting me know that. I would have assumed there would be nothing I could do. When the judge decides it final. A question, you don't need to answer if it's not ok. If the judge decides, let's say my AH has 3months to buy me out or the house is listed for sale. Can my AH appeal that decision and ask for a hearing, to make this drag out longer?
Thanks
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Generally speaking, anyone can appeal any final court decision. But appealing it doesn't automatically stop the order from going into effect. He would have to also file for a stay, and those are rarely granted. Usually, they are granted only when a party can show "irreparable harm" AND a likelihood of success on the merits (think about the wrangling over the litigation surrounding the executive orders on immigration--the same principles apply to other issues).
Your lawyer can explain to you what the standards would be in your jurisdiction, but I'd suggest saving your money for questions about things that actually happen.
The bottom line is that in the world of the law, a person can ASK for just about anything--but that's a far cry from being able to actually make it happen.
Your lawyer can explain to you what the standards would be in your jurisdiction, but I'd suggest saving your money for questions about things that actually happen.
The bottom line is that in the world of the law, a person can ASK for just about anything--but that's a far cry from being able to actually make it happen.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
