Not Sure What To Do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi,
His lawyer was brutal! She questioned my mental competency r/t in her exact words that "brain thing I had". At this point being a medical professional I had enough! I got up and ask her does she know what "brain thing" thing I had? She couldn't answer. Asked her what medical qualifications does she have to talk about someone's medical condition when she doesn't even know what it is. And most importantly what does that have to do with my AH abusing me! That was just one incidence of her cruelty. The judge let me talk, but told me I needed to ask his permission next time. I'm very passionate and a huge advocate of people with disabilities!
Then I have a letter she wrote to me through my attorney calling me a thief, actually saying it!!! No alleged thief, I am a thief! Please return the stolen funds. It was clearly documented where the money went, she was listening to my AH, and didn't read the information provided.
This one I understand her doing. At the last hearing, was our motions to compel my AH to answer some questions. One was if he was beneficiary of a trust. I told the judge I knew he was. I saw an email from his lawyers law firm in January stating that he needed to come down to the lawyers office to sign paperwork to remove himself from the trust. His lawyer said in court how could I have seen an email I. January when I wasn't in the office? I answered I checked email remotely until I was locked out. I understand her doing that! I have since checked my computer and found the attachment from her law office emailed to him to fill out to resign as trustee of the trust. It shows he clearly lied, when he said he knows nothing about a trust, so can't produce a trust document.
Hopefully if I can afford it my lawyer will come with me. He wanted an additional 1000.00 to come with me last time. I frankly don't have the money. Not complaining, but living on very little right now!
Again, I understand what you said in a previous post regarding the law. I still find it hard to understand why during such a difficult time for both parties, why she can't be a little less judgemental.
It appears she is just listening to him, and not reading the information provided to her.
I feel like she is targeting me!! Her accusations feel like myAH saying them!!
I'm rambling! I think you can get the flavor of how I feel!!
Z
His lawyer was brutal! She questioned my mental competency r/t in her exact words that "brain thing I had". At this point being a medical professional I had enough! I got up and ask her does she know what "brain thing" thing I had? She couldn't answer. Asked her what medical qualifications does she have to talk about someone's medical condition when she doesn't even know what it is. And most importantly what does that have to do with my AH abusing me! That was just one incidence of her cruelty. The judge let me talk, but told me I needed to ask his permission next time. I'm very passionate and a huge advocate of people with disabilities!
Then I have a letter she wrote to me through my attorney calling me a thief, actually saying it!!! No alleged thief, I am a thief! Please return the stolen funds. It was clearly documented where the money went, she was listening to my AH, and didn't read the information provided.
This one I understand her doing. At the last hearing, was our motions to compel my AH to answer some questions. One was if he was beneficiary of a trust. I told the judge I knew he was. I saw an email from his lawyers law firm in January stating that he needed to come down to the lawyers office to sign paperwork to remove himself from the trust. His lawyer said in court how could I have seen an email I. January when I wasn't in the office? I answered I checked email remotely until I was locked out. I understand her doing that! I have since checked my computer and found the attachment from her law office emailed to him to fill out to resign as trustee of the trust. It shows he clearly lied, when he said he knows nothing about a trust, so can't produce a trust document.
Hopefully if I can afford it my lawyer will come with me. He wanted an additional 1000.00 to come with me last time. I frankly don't have the money. Not complaining, but living on very little right now!
Again, I understand what you said in a previous post regarding the law. I still find it hard to understand why during such a difficult time for both parties, why she can't be a little less judgemental.
It appears she is just listening to him, and not reading the information provided to her.
I feel like she is targeting me!! Her accusations feel like myAH saying them!!
I'm rambling! I think you can get the flavor of how I feel!!
Z
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
LOL, you must have been a pistol on the stand. Ordinarily the witness isn't allowed to ask the lawyer questions--see, I think the judge DID give you a lot of leeway because you were there on your own.
She was going on what her client told her, which gave her a "good faith basis" for asking the questions. It's not entirely off the wall; someone's mental condition can sometimes be explored as part of testing their credibility. SOME mental conditions DO affect credibility, but it doesn't mean the witness isn't telling the truth.
Try to just let it roll off you next time, and turn to the judge, asking something like, "I have no idea what a 'brain thing' might be. Is she asking about a specific condition that has any relevance here?" That amounts to making an objection, which you really could do only if you were there without a lawyer to make it for you.
Try not to think of it as "cruel," but rather just part of the process that you don't have to allow to derail you. Remember, sometimes getting a rise out of you can undermine your credibility--you don't want that to happen.
She was going on what her client told her, which gave her a "good faith basis" for asking the questions. It's not entirely off the wall; someone's mental condition can sometimes be explored as part of testing their credibility. SOME mental conditions DO affect credibility, but it doesn't mean the witness isn't telling the truth.
Try to just let it roll off you next time, and turn to the judge, asking something like, "I have no idea what a 'brain thing' might be. Is she asking about a specific condition that has any relevance here?" That amounts to making an objection, which you really could do only if you were there without a lawyer to make it for you.
Try not to think of it as "cruel," but rather just part of the process that you don't have to allow to derail you. Remember, sometimes getting a rise out of you can undermine your credibility--you don't want that to happen.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
LOL!! A rise out of me is an understatement!!! I just have such a passion for people with disabilities. I don't consider myself disabled, especially mentally disabled. I worked in a high stress for 6 years after my brain hemorrhage! I think, frankly I was shocked, that first she was using this, but didn't do her homework to adequately describe my condition!
No, I think I'm learning to be more proactive, rather than reactive. LOL!!
I'm learning so much about the law throughout this process. I see this as a huge positive.
Funny though, before I moved out of my home, my AH threatened me that his attorney would use my medical history, job history, and family stuff against me if I didn't agree to what he was willing to give me!
I'm thinking? Probably not a good thing! LOL!! What am I going to have to persevere about when this is over!!
I definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel, but feel I have at least another 6months to go!
It's obvious my AH wants the family home. I don't think(hope), the court will give it to him. So it'll need to be sold, or he'll have to refinance and buy me out. Hard to do, when my AH has showed no income for the past almost 2years. At mediation he wanted another 6 months to get the business up and running so he could prove income! I think a bank would have a hard time loaning him money, when his credit right now is as bad as mine, LOL! And he's looking for at least a 175,000.00 dollar mortgage with proof of income for only 6months. All the other loans he got were in my name first because I made more money! This is the major reason I want the DV order to remain in place. If he loses that house, has his arsenal of guns back and is drinking as he has, I fear what might happen!!
Sorry rambling again ! Oh, one more thing. He has his sister( crazy), supporting his every move! She has control of the trust, and him.
I'm done!! Sorry again!! LOL!
Z
No, I think I'm learning to be more proactive, rather than reactive. LOL!!
I'm learning so much about the law throughout this process. I see this as a huge positive.
Funny though, before I moved out of my home, my AH threatened me that his attorney would use my medical history, job history, and family stuff against me if I didn't agree to what he was willing to give me!
I'm thinking? Probably not a good thing! LOL!! What am I going to have to persevere about when this is over!!
I definitely see a light at the end of the tunnel, but feel I have at least another 6months to go!
It's obvious my AH wants the family home. I don't think(hope), the court will give it to him. So it'll need to be sold, or he'll have to refinance and buy me out. Hard to do, when my AH has showed no income for the past almost 2years. At mediation he wanted another 6 months to get the business up and running so he could prove income! I think a bank would have a hard time loaning him money, when his credit right now is as bad as mine, LOL! And he's looking for at least a 175,000.00 dollar mortgage with proof of income for only 6months. All the other loans he got were in my name first because I made more money! This is the major reason I want the DV order to remain in place. If he loses that house, has his arsenal of guns back and is drinking as he has, I fear what might happen!!
Sorry rambling again ! Oh, one more thing. He has his sister( crazy), supporting his every move! She has control of the trust, and him.
I'm done!! Sorry again!! LOL!
Z
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