Trying to ignore another drinker
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Trying to ignore another drinker
4 months ago a man and his wife ( she has now left) moved into the apartment on the ground floor of our building. Prior to that a couple had lived there and we all got along happily for over a year. The ground floor man bought his place. I am renting. He found out I was renting cos the hall and stairway is being decorated and he found out my landlord is paying my share. He wasn't happy cos he didn't realise my apartment was tenanted.
He goes out to buy alcohol every morning and sits in his place ( or the communal garden he's filled with rubbish ) with loud music booming out drinking his way through whiskey plotting ways to make my life a misery. So far he has complained to my landlord accusing me of flooding his basement and pouring stuff down his outside drain. ( I was away in Europe when it happened), breaking the gate ( he wasn't allowed to put up in the first place) to the communal garden he has taken over and breaking his satellite TV dish!!
I have an assisted bin collection due to my disabilities as the garden is up a load of steps so he hides my bin and the bin men don't see it so it doesn't get emptied. That's happened 5 times. He also pushes it onto the flower bed and it gets stuck in the mud. He complained about me taking garbage down the main stairs then wrote to my landlord I was using the fire escape when I took it out that way instead and he doesn't want me using the fire escape even tho it has nothing to do with him cos he's on the ground floor. He keeps dropping the latch on the communal front door so we can't get in as the yale won't work when it's doubled locked. My boys got locked out when I was away and my landlord had to come and let them in . He was in there and refused to open the door. He's rude to people who ring my bell to bring me stuff or like the meter man reading the meters. Latest stunt is he's blocked my fire exit with his bins.
My landlord is great and knows me well. He knows I'd not do the stuff he's accused me of doing and has been round to speak to him but he won't open his door. He won't open his door to speak to me either. He just leaves nasty notes in the hall. If I move his bins he puts them straight back again. Am dreading if we have fire. One of my boys doesn't walk very well anyway so getting him down 3 flights and through a wedged shut gate past bins would be difficult especially if it was dark. He just sits out there drinking all day and swearing at my cats. It's kind of like being with my exah again. Selfish, inconsiderate a hole. Fighting back just means he ups the ante. This place used to be our sanctuary.
He goes out to buy alcohol every morning and sits in his place ( or the communal garden he's filled with rubbish ) with loud music booming out drinking his way through whiskey plotting ways to make my life a misery. So far he has complained to my landlord accusing me of flooding his basement and pouring stuff down his outside drain. ( I was away in Europe when it happened), breaking the gate ( he wasn't allowed to put up in the first place) to the communal garden he has taken over and breaking his satellite TV dish!!
I have an assisted bin collection due to my disabilities as the garden is up a load of steps so he hides my bin and the bin men don't see it so it doesn't get emptied. That's happened 5 times. He also pushes it onto the flower bed and it gets stuck in the mud. He complained about me taking garbage down the main stairs then wrote to my landlord I was using the fire escape when I took it out that way instead and he doesn't want me using the fire escape even tho it has nothing to do with him cos he's on the ground floor. He keeps dropping the latch on the communal front door so we can't get in as the yale won't work when it's doubled locked. My boys got locked out when I was away and my landlord had to come and let them in . He was in there and refused to open the door. He's rude to people who ring my bell to bring me stuff or like the meter man reading the meters. Latest stunt is he's blocked my fire exit with his bins.
My landlord is great and knows me well. He knows I'd not do the stuff he's accused me of doing and has been round to speak to him but he won't open his door. He won't open his door to speak to me either. He just leaves nasty notes in the hall. If I move his bins he puts them straight back again. Am dreading if we have fire. One of my boys doesn't walk very well anyway so getting him down 3 flights and through a wedged shut gate past bins would be difficult especially if it was dark. He just sits out there drinking all day and swearing at my cats. It's kind of like being with my exah again. Selfish, inconsiderate a hole. Fighting back just means he ups the ante. This place used to be our sanctuary.
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Join Date: Dec 2016
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Not sure if this is feasible, but there are completely wireless and very easy to install surveillance systems on the market. One system available through Costco is called Arlo. A few cameras might stop this guy from doing these things. Sorry you have to put up with this stuff!
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How awful for you and your boys! What a piece of work.
Yes, I agree with a camera. I also would say you may need to find somewhere else to live. I know that stinks, but if he bought the place, it's not likely to change. I would call your fire marshall regarding him placing items in an unsafe place due to fire hazard.
What a jerk. Sorry friend.
Yes, I agree with a camera. I also would say you may need to find somewhere else to live. I know that stinks, but if he bought the place, it's not likely to change. I would call your fire marshall regarding him placing items in an unsafe place due to fire hazard.
What a jerk. Sorry friend.
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Here in the U.S. you can call the police - but that will likely make things worse.
Have you talked to him?
I was on the Board of Directors in my condo community - your landlord should be taking all this up with the Board and the property management company. Document and photograph everything and copy emails to your landlord and the management company. He can be fined for each incident that breaches the community covenants. In our community the fines start at $200 per incident and go up from there. If he's a problem, you're not the only one who wants to get rid of him - but it has to be done methodically.
I tend to agree that the best thing would be move. It's the path of least resistance, at least. As an owner, I've had to deal with this stuff. It can be stopped, I just don't know if you want to take it on. The police can help with the noise stuff.
Have you talked to him?
I was on the Board of Directors in my condo community - your landlord should be taking all this up with the Board and the property management company. Document and photograph everything and copy emails to your landlord and the management company. He can be fined for each incident that breaches the community covenants. In our community the fines start at $200 per incident and go up from there. If he's a problem, you're not the only one who wants to get rid of him - but it has to be done methodically.
I tend to agree that the best thing would be move. It's the path of least resistance, at least. As an owner, I've had to deal with this stuff. It can be stopped, I just don't know if you want to take it on. The police can help with the noise stuff.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Also, Ladybird, this man is harassing you. Bimini's advice is solid. perhaps you can enlist your landlord's help in this as well. Document everything and keep the landlord in the picture. You can't be the only one affected by his harassing behavior.
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Thanks for all your replies. My landlord is helping and is seeing a lawyer soon to find out what exactly the owner can and can't do. He also spoke to the maintenance agency but they seem reluctant to be involved I think cos they are sick of him complaining constantly. I've tried talking to him but he shuts me down and walks off and refuses to answer his door even when know he's in. He is very, very angry he bought his place and it never came up my place is rented. I think he has issues. I saw his public Facebook and it 's very obvious he hates women and has issues with people who stand up to him. His latest is I am supposed to have put a wooden veg box on his porch roof. I am only 5 foot 1 and can't reach. It is my box but I put it out for the delivery man who brings me vegetables each week. He normally takes the empty one away so am mystified what has happened. :/
My landlord would have to let this place even if I left to a different one. He gave me this one when I got my two boys back and I was I with him before in a different one across town. He let me have it at a cheaper rate then it's worth and my boys love it here. It's also a great place for my cats cos it's on a quiet road with fabulous view to the hills and they can get outside. Am not going to be forced out by a heavy drinking bully boy. CCTV is a great idea but I think he'd pull it down if he saw it cos he'd say it was on his property. I am too high up to put it on mine.
My feeling is he'll move. He came here cos he used to visit for holidays and the reality is not what he expected. The winters are very harsh and the locals banned together so his ability to cause trouble has been limited.
My landlord would have to let this place even if I left to a different one. He gave me this one when I got my two boys back and I was I with him before in a different one across town. He let me have it at a cheaper rate then it's worth and my boys love it here. It's also a great place for my cats cos it's on a quiet road with fabulous view to the hills and they can get outside. Am not going to be forced out by a heavy drinking bully boy. CCTV is a great idea but I think he'd pull it down if he saw it cos he'd say it was on his property. I am too high up to put it on mine.
My feeling is he'll move. He came here cos he used to visit for holidays and the reality is not what he expected. The winters are very harsh and the locals banned together so his ability to cause trouble has been limited.
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After he locked the exit from the fire escape today I completely lost it with him. It wasn't like me. I am usually calm, measured and reasonable but having had to get my 7 kids out of a house fire during a flood ( emergency services line was busy when I phoned) at 4 am into a garden under water, with exah so drunk I couldn't wake him, I went ballistic. I beat his door down and gave him what for. He moved the gate. 
He's a bit scared of me now. Hell have no fury like a momma bear scorned.
He's a bit scared of me now. Hell have no fury like a momma bear scorned.
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Hopefully, he is a bully who backs down when strongly confronted. I would still document it with my landlord so he is kept in the loop. May be helpful if they want to make sure he complies.
Be careful, Ladybird. He sounds a bit nutty.
Be careful, Ladybird. He sounds a bit nutty.
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I've sent a letter to the maintenance company with photos of things he's done and documented my side of things as he has lied about me to them. One being saying I used the fire exit to come and go when I didn't realise I even had a key to the outer door so could only go out of it NOT back in.
My boys..well men now not boys .....made me smile today cos I had to take some metal down for the scrap man and both came with me in case the neighbour came out. They are very protective of me.
My boys..well men now not boys .....made me smile today cos I had to take some metal down for the scrap man and both came with me in case the neighbour came out. They are very protective of me.
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Update
It's nearly July and the battle with the downstair alcoholic continues unabated. It started last September initially. All my efforts to have the fire escape issues resolved has resulted in further escalation on his part. His latest is putting a fire exit sign on a back gate while blocking the other exit with a locked gate, his many bins and letting the tree grow over the path. The back gate is locked and if it did open leads out onto a narrow overgrown alley with no lighting and a 20 minute walk to a main road. However it also has a sack of builders bricks in front of it.
I realised eventually, yeah am slow.... I cannot win. He ignores any enforcement letters and continues exactly as he was while bullying one of my sons if he sees him and upping the ante with his latest antics. ( massive pool on the fire exit route to date and he knocked down a wall to block the path too) He's an active alcoholic so of course I cannot win. It's like dealing with my exah..circular arguments, being stone walled and being abusive when I am trying to have a reasonable conversation. He triggers my sons. He twists everything around so I look like the one in the wrong. He acts oh so reasonable to the agency and makes me out to be a shrew who is rude to him. I have never even raised my voice to this man.
So we are planning to leave. I am hoping to rent a house with a garden for the kitties and leave him to his toxic life. Life is too short to carry on arguing with him.
I realised eventually, yeah am slow.... I cannot win. He ignores any enforcement letters and continues exactly as he was while bullying one of my sons if he sees him and upping the ante with his latest antics. ( massive pool on the fire exit route to date and he knocked down a wall to block the path too) He's an active alcoholic so of course I cannot win. It's like dealing with my exah..circular arguments, being stone walled and being abusive when I am trying to have a reasonable conversation. He triggers my sons. He twists everything around so I look like the one in the wrong. He acts oh so reasonable to the agency and makes me out to be a shrew who is rude to him. I have never even raised my voice to this man.
So we are planning to leave. I am hoping to rent a house with a garden for the kitties and leave him to his toxic life. Life is too short to carry on arguing with him.
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Picking your battles is an important skill, and as you say, this is one you can't win, nor is it worth the trouble. I wonder how many different tenants will have to lodge the same complaints as you have done before the landlord sees that there is ONE constant in all the problems--this guy downstairs?
Whatever--you have better things to spend your time and energy on. I hope the house hunt goes well, and I look forward to hearing about the lovely little place WITH a garden that you find soon!
Whatever--you have better things to spend your time and energy on. I hope the house hunt goes well, and I look forward to hearing about the lovely little place WITH a garden that you find soon!
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[QUOTE=Ladybird579;
Life is too short to carry on arguing with him.[/QUOTE]
Sigh....sending hugs.
Indeed, life is too short to have to deal with someone like this.
Sadly, I've known someone like this - getting away from him is the best thing you can do.
Best of luck in your next home!
Life is too short to carry on arguing with him.[/QUOTE]
Sigh....sending hugs.
Indeed, life is too short to have to deal with someone like this.
Sadly, I've known someone like this - getting away from him is the best thing you can do.
Best of luck in your next home!
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