desperatesister

Advice needed as I am wavering......here's the background. My sister has been an alcoholic for 20 years. She is 53 years old. After too many rehabs to count we have pretty much severed ties and said she is on her own. She has not had a job in years and gets by on $400 a month and food stamp assistance. At this point she is homeless. In May we went to court to have her evaluated for mental illness and she presented herself well to the court and the judge determined that she is mentally competent but needed to spend 30 days at a state supported rehab which has never happened. She has been in and out of jail and also becomes violent if she is drunk with no memory of the event.
Tonight she forced her way into my 78 year old mothers house and before I or the police could get there she tried to steal my mothers purse and she hit her in the face. The police said they would write her a ticket no jail time and the best we could do is have a no trespassing order to protect my mother.
I will file for another competency hearing on Monday. Here is my dilemma~~I have been doing the no contact and she is getting worse. It seems the police hands are tied as are mine. She is drinking hand sanitizer and really anything she can get her hands on.
She is living on the street. She has been evicted from every place she has lived for being disruptive. My thought is that she will never get better. Doesn't like AA blah blah blah.
Do I find her a place to stay and at least get her off the street? Or just let her continue the way she is trying to protect my mother?

Adrian80

Let her go. Focus on protecting your mom and keep her safe. 20 years is too long to be constantly putting up with somebody else's crap especially if they refuse to get help. I don't understand how she got away with hitting your mom. That should have been an assault charge and attempted theft .

FeelingGreat

You're a good sister, but she's way beyond your help right now. If you did find her a place it would only be a matter of time before she was thrown out. Her best hope now is to be forced to dry out; better if she wanted to, but that's unlikely from the sound of things. It's not just that she's a drunk, it's also that she becomes aggressive and harms others.

Do what you can to protect your mother instead. You might be able to beef up security at her place. Put in stronger locks and security screens if possible to give your mother time to get the police there.

I hope her behaviour this time around ends up with her being detoxed, even if it's not her choice, because she seems out of control.

maia1234

I also agree, stop saving her. May this will be the low she finally needs to get some help. Please don't take that from her. What are you doing for you and mom, I am sure both of you are in need of some support.

Hugs my friend!!

desperatesister

Thank you all! I knew the answer I just needed reinforcement. My mom is heartbroken so it's very hard. The police said it would be aggravated assault which is a misdemeanor charge and she wouldn't go to jail. We put out a non trespassing notice which will hopefully keep her away from the house.
I am going to stay the course.
:

AnvilheadII

protect your mother. install an alarm system. consider getting your mom one of those emergency alert systems she can wear at all times.

press charges. file a restraining order. your sister is a dangerous threat now.

i don't think a No Trespassing sign is the solution.

dandylion

I am just spitballin"....but, I am guessing that your mother has refused...or, doesn't know how to get a protective order........
It also sounds like senior abuse, to me.....

dandylion

PuzzledHeart

Everybody here has said what I would have said. I have a sister who is struggling as well; it can be so hard. My fingers are crossed for you tomorrow.

hopeful4

I believe breaking into someone's house and slapping them is assault. I would not be ok with a ticket and a no trespassing. A restraining order is what is needed. I would go demand to speak to the police supervisor.

Hugs.