How long did your
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 158
Iīm certain my xabf has someone new already, though I donīt want to know...
It really hurts that he didnīt put any effort in maintaining the relationship with me, that he can move on so easily. He has a large history of countless gfs, two marriages, several live-in gfs. Has been a stepfather in more than one occasion as well.
We havenīt spoken at all since the relationship ended 4 months ago, which is weird, you always keep in touch in the beginning. At least that has been my experience.
The thing that helps me is thinking that he moved on because he realized I had seen him for what he is - an active alcoholic. He couldnīt pretend he doesnīt have a problem anymore if his SO was aware of the truth. He just needed someone else to smile at him and pretend with him that heīs a great, non alcoholic guy. Oh yes, and be his enabler of course.
It really hurts that he didnīt put any effort in maintaining the relationship with me, that he can move on so easily. He has a large history of countless gfs, two marriages, several live-in gfs. Has been a stepfather in more than one occasion as well.
We havenīt spoken at all since the relationship ended 4 months ago, which is weird, you always keep in touch in the beginning. At least that has been my experience.
The thing that helps me is thinking that he moved on because he realized I had seen him for what he is - an active alcoholic. He couldnīt pretend he doesnīt have a problem anymore if his SO was aware of the truth. He just needed someone else to smile at him and pretend with him that heīs a great, non alcoholic guy. Oh yes, and be his enabler of course.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 328
Can I put a spin on this? My XH was not an alcoholic but rather a textbook narcissist. The divorce was very ugly. I had a PFA and he refused to abide by it. He just would not leave me alone. Guess when he did? The day he met his current wife. They are still miserably married 17 years later. It's not always a bad thing they move on!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Depends on what your criteria is for 'starting a new relationship'...
I moved out so we could have space to work on our individual issues. AXH waited almost a year before moving in with a new GF, but he moved in with her and her kids the same month they met and before we even discussed a divorce. He told me she was a landlord; he told her he was divorced. She was surprised and confused that he got angry when I finally filed for divorce.
Before he found her, he was couch-surfing with friends. It turns out he started bringing girls home immediately. It just took him longer to find one who was willing to "help" him and let him move in.
To be completely honest, I'm fairly certain he was cheating for a while before I moved out.
I moved out so we could have space to work on our individual issues. AXH waited almost a year before moving in with a new GF, but he moved in with her and her kids the same month they met and before we even discussed a divorce. He told me she was a landlord; he told her he was divorced. She was surprised and confused that he got angry when I finally filed for divorce.
Before he found her, he was couch-surfing with friends. It turns out he started bringing girls home immediately. It just took him longer to find one who was willing to "help" him and let him move in.
To be completely honest, I'm fairly certain he was cheating for a while before I moved out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: northern california
Posts: 740
I am blessed my wife and I raised our kids in a sober household I was sober 23 years before I started drinking again. It would be so hard to be single with kids man or woman and go through watching an ex with someone new when the kids are still young.
When our marriage is finally over I hope my then ex falls in love again with no timetable , not all people are needy I was single until 28 and happy I loved it and I look forward to being single again.
So many times I saw co workers with kids divorce and jump right into relationships all because they did not want to be alone and it always led to more dysfunction.
I wish you all the best please take care of yourselves.
When our marriage is finally over I hope my then ex falls in love again with no timetable , not all people are needy I was single until 28 and happy I loved it and I look forward to being single again.
So many times I saw co workers with kids divorce and jump right into relationships all because they did not want to be alone and it always led to more dysfunction.
I wish you all the best please take care of yourselves.
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