Never a good first date sign
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Never a good first date sign
So I had been getting to know a nurse a little. We had met at a Wings place playing trivia against one another. Texting back and forth. Talking by phone.
In these exchanges she has asked what happened in my last relationship to make it end. I said she had a drinking and cheating problem. In passing that info along...she said adamantly, I'd never cheat on anyone. (My first clue was she didn't address the drinking problem in the same manner). So we eventually made our way to a first date.
She wanted me to teach her how to play Black Jack better. That was our first date plans. So we meet as planned and she gets out of her car and comes to mine. She has in her hand a Big Gulp Cup the large size, with a lid and a straw. Its hot here, this is a pretty normal thing.
She gets in my car and I smell that smell of alcohol. I asked her if she had alcohol in that cup. Yeah why do I ask? Well umm if its all the same to you, I'd prefer we go our separate ways about now.
Why whats the matter?
Umm do you not remember that I told you my last relationship ended due to drinking problems. Yes she said. OK well this isn't a great start to a date with me when you come in with a Large Big Gulp filled with booze.
Her response, well it isn't full, its half full (It was a 40 Oz size), and I don't have a drinking problem.
Man did this bring back memories.
So I can't say she has a problem I guess. But to me if someone feels this is first date appropriate...then I have a problem.
I enjoyed an evening alone watching a movie at the theater.
In these exchanges she has asked what happened in my last relationship to make it end. I said she had a drinking and cheating problem. In passing that info along...she said adamantly, I'd never cheat on anyone. (My first clue was she didn't address the drinking problem in the same manner). So we eventually made our way to a first date.
She wanted me to teach her how to play Black Jack better. That was our first date plans. So we meet as planned and she gets out of her car and comes to mine. She has in her hand a Big Gulp Cup the large size, with a lid and a straw. Its hot here, this is a pretty normal thing.
She gets in my car and I smell that smell of alcohol. I asked her if she had alcohol in that cup. Yeah why do I ask? Well umm if its all the same to you, I'd prefer we go our separate ways about now.
Why whats the matter?
Umm do you not remember that I told you my last relationship ended due to drinking problems. Yes she said. OK well this isn't a great start to a date with me when you come in with a Large Big Gulp filled with booze.
Her response, well it isn't full, its half full (It was a 40 Oz size), and I don't have a drinking problem.
Man did this bring back memories.
So I can't say she has a problem I guess. But to me if someone feels this is first date appropriate...then I have a problem.
I enjoyed an evening alone watching a movie at the theater.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Good for you for recognizing that her showing up to a first date with alcohol in her cup is a deal breaker for you...and way to end it quickly without rationalizing that 'she may have just had a bad day...it IS hot outside...and everybody gets thirsty.'
High five!
High five!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, that's pretty much for what first dates are for. Not for bringing a Big Gulp (half) full of booze, but for finding out whether you want to get to know someone better. Glad you found out before you had to pay for the popcorn--pricier than a ticket, these days!
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,000
Originally Posted by Hayfmr 
She did you a huge favor by showing her true colors at the beginning.
Man oh man, I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry. Hope you find someone really worth the price of expensive popcorn!
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 333
Originally Posted by Hangnbyathread
Why whats the matter?
Umm do you not remember that I told you my last relationship ended due to drinking problems. Yes she said. OK well this isn't a great start to a date with me when you come in with a Large Big Gulp filled with booze.
Her response, well it isn't full, its half full (It was a 40 Oz size), and I don't have a drinking problem.
Man did this bring back memories.
So I can't say she has a problem I guess. But to me if someone feels this is first date appropriate...then I have a problem.
I enjoyed an evening alone watching a movie at the theater.
Umm do you not remember that I told you my last relationship ended due to drinking problems. Yes she said. OK well this isn't a great start to a date with me when you come in with a Large Big Gulp filled with booze.
Her response, well it isn't full, its half full (It was a 40 Oz size), and I don't have a drinking problem.
Man did this bring back memories.
So I can't say she has a problem I guess. But to me if someone feels this is first date appropriate...then I have a problem.
I enjoyed an evening alone watching a movie at the theater.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: South Central USA
Posts: 1,478
Originally Posted by Thomas45
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Good for you!
Yep, I'm with Expanding...That would have been no big deal at all for me in the past, and I would have had my own Big Gulp... funny how things change.
Now that would completely repulse me... if I ever date again.
Yep, I'm with Expanding...That would have been no big deal at all for me in the past, and I would have had my own Big Gulp... funny how things change.
Now that would completely repulse me... if I ever date again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 151
Unreal....the same thing happened to me. Last winter I bonded with a guy over our alcoholic exes. I drink socially so going out for drinks is not normally problematic for me. When I got into this guy's car I noticed a cup and something just told me to smell it. Alcohol. I don't care if someone drinks and can stay in control, but how is a "roadie" ever ok? I have never once had open alcohol in my car while driving...especially if my date has an alcoholic ex. I was, and am still, shocked by this guy's behavior.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
let's not overlook that she was DRIVING with her Big Gulp too!!!!
My bf and I hardly ever drink when we're out if we're driving. 1 drink max or it's an Uber ride, lol.
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