firebolt

Oh I live hearing about youall's 'stuff." What an amazing group of peeps we have here - and I am so grateful for you all!!

honeypig

Today my little black Demon Terrier is getting some major dental work done. Those of you w/pets know how expensive it is. Lucky for me, the money I'd been saving for my yearly LP gas price lock-in payment was way more than I ended up needing, and that will cover the vet bill.

However--my car also developed a loud exhaust recently and I decided I'd use this day off of work to get it looked at. Long story short, there are just over $3K in repairs which I was NOT prepared for, of which the cat converter is by far the largest part but also including rear brakes and water pump. Luckily I was seated when the guy came to show me the estimate...

BUT. A great big BUT.

While none of this is great news, I am incredibly grateful that:

1) I have sufficient savings to handle all this. I hate to go into my savings, but isn't this what I was always saving for, that "rainy day", where it's raining catalytic converters and dogs? And now I need it, and thank heavens I have it.

2) I have come along far enough in my recovery to be able to say "well, this is not the optimum situation, but nobody died. Nothing irretrievably awful happened." I am the daughter of bankrupt dairy farmers. Money has always been a big, big concern for me, and to have this calm attitude about a large unexpected expense, to not be going absolutely ballistic, freaking out, hanging from the ceiling shrieking, is a giant step forward.

Again, thanks to all of you here who've been part of this ongoing journey towards sanity, or something kind of like it, at least!

Off to get my paper, pencil and calculator to see exactly where I stand and how best to make things work out...

Liveitwell

HP-that photo sums it up!! Yay for YOU! Look at the calm and rational thought-woohoo for recovery

honeypig

FoG, that whole idea of stepping back, taking a moment, sorting out what is an emotional and what is a rational response, was SOOOO foreign to me when I first came here! To me, feeling and acting were the same thing--if I felt anger, panic, sadness about something, then I needed to respond in an angry/panicked/sad fashion to it, and immediately, if not sooner!

The idea that I could choose how I responded to any given situation was something that I'd never ever imagined before. And what a huge difference it makes when I remember I have this choice and I exercise it...

Liveitwell

^ right there with you, my friend!!

firebolt

More gratitude today.

Went to the doc after my 'episode' last week.

My diagnosis of 'anxiety attacks' has now changed to 'vasovegal response.'

I was like....so I'm not Nervous Nellie, I'm a fainting goat?!

Anywho - they did an EKG - my heart is great and is not triggering it. They took blood, we'll see if an iron deficiency is the culprit from that. If it's not,

Well - then I have to identify the trigger....either:
Needles, blood, doctors, tattoos, stress, strong emotions, my period(talk about something I can't control..), the pot cookie I get from a neighbor every 6 months (my bad), viewing trauma (if loving horror movies is wrong, I don't want to be right), and standing too long. She helped me figure out that one or a combination of these are probably triggering me. Much of this I can change - easily.

Then, I am going to quit smoking. Again. And she gave me a prescription for welbutrin to make it easier.

I didn't get all the answers I wanted, but I also didn't discover anything horrifying. And bonus - I do not have anxiety attacks, or vertigo

Wisconsin

Good luck kicking the cigs, fb! My mom quit many, many times but it only ever finally stuck after my DAD nearly died of a heart attack. Funny how her own health was never enough motivation...

Liveitwell

I second your well wishes to quit smoking! It's tough but so worth it! Stick with it, friend!!!!

Wisconsin

Today my gentleman friend's daughter is at day camp with my DS. My DS is 6, and my gentleman friend's daughter is 11 (although she has some developmental delays that put her general maturity level a couple of years younger than that). I am so grateful that DS (who can be QUITE THE HANDFUL sometimes) told her not to worry or be nervous, because he will show her around the building and answer all her questions. (It's a really small program--one that I hope she will enjoy because it is unlikely she will be bullied there like she was at a much larger YMCA-affiliated day camp.) DS can drive me nuts at times, but he really gets along well with her, and I was proud to see that he wanted to look out for her in a way that involved her being independent and self-sufficient at the camp.

firebolt

Thank you W and FOG!

W - I was telling my RA boss (2.5 years in recovery) last night that I've experienced the 'episodes' so many times - they are always terrifying! This was this first time it happened in front of people. They wanted me to go to the ER, and my friend flat out said 'you are scaring me." So yeah, I went to the doc because my FRIENDS were scared.....

Wholly Codie!

Grateful for my family today. We are all headed to our 'holy land' - a mountain range a couple hours from here we grew up camping in. Were all staying at a great cabin this weekend to sprinkle dads ashes. It will be bittersweet and I can't wait to hang with the fam and it's been way too ling since i've been to our spot there.

Have a great weekend all!

honeypig

((((hugs)))) firebolt. I hope you have a beautiful weekend.

CentralOhioDad

Had a great weekend - lots of sun and nice warm temps. DS got brave and started going off the diving board at the pool we belong to! For a timid kid, he's showing great moxie.

Wisconsin

Thankful for a nice weekend. My gentleman friend's daughter spent the entire weekend with DS and me, because my gentleman friend had to work. She has some disabilities that sometimes make it hard for her to fully understand that complaining about stuff can hurt peoples' feelings, and I am still pretty hypersensitive to complaining and criticism. So it was a good exercise for me to remember to QTIP, and to provide her with what I hope was a loving and supportive environment. We spent some time at the library, and at the beach. Yesterday we went to see Minions at the movie theatre (part of the summer movie series where they show older movies and tickets are only $3--and free passes are easy to find). I struggle a lot still with the notion that I do not have the budget to take my kids to a lot of places, or on fancy outings, and it is common for kids to spend time with us and not really understand how limited our budget is. But we had a nice time, and she and DS get along really well.

This week we get some final days with our foster dog before he goes to his forever home on Thursday or Friday. He's officially all ready to go--he had his Certificate of Veterinarian Inspection updated last week (required by law before transferring an animal from a rescue to a new home), and I have a packet of information ready for his new family.

honeypig

All such good news, Wisconsin! Thanks for a nice lift to my Monday AM!!

firebolt

Grateful for a great weekend with the fam scattering dads ashes while camping at out family's 'holy land.' LOTS of laughs, a hike, my 3rd trout on a fly rod, good meals shared, some tears, and lots of great, quality time. <3

FireSprite

So much gratitude today I can hardly keep track of it.

#1 is definitely Mom calling to let me know that she's going back to counseling; halleluiah. She has been running in circles for nearly a solid year & losing ground in her recovery & the only way to manage it has been to keep drawing firmer boundaries on my own side. You guys know how impossibly hard this has been so I am thrilled that she is finally taking the steps she needs. We had a LONG talk yesterday & while she has a very hard, long road ahead of her she CAN create positive change for herself if she really wants to.

#2 - DD is back, had an incredible vacation & grew a full half inch while she was away!!! As soon as she walked over to give me a hug we both realized she was nearly eye-to-eye with me. We JUST measured her height on June 5 because she'd been having another cycle of growing pains the last few months, so we've logged the 1/2" growth in 19 days time!

#3 - I completely deep-cleaned my home office over the weekend, creating a great place for my BFF to stay when she visits in 2 weeks - I'm so excited!!

honeypig

So nice to see the positive posts from both the Fire gals!

fb, I'm glad your weekend to celebrate your dad's life as well as celebrating the lives he touched was a good one. You were in my thoughts.

FS, so many things in your life ZOOMING ahead, including DD!

Wisconsin

I also had to tidy up my place this weekend, because my landlord was scheduled to show it yesterday. It's amazing how stuff like that forces you to get your act together! I also cleaned out DS's big toy chest, which is basically filled with 98% stuff he never plays with. I took a big bag of donations to Goodwill on my way to work this morning.

fb, you were in my heart all weekend.

firebolt

Grateful for summer - the long sunny evenings, the impromptu bbq for dinner with my neighbor, split second decisions on what to do with the daylight we're given after work - all that. Happy days friends!

CentralOhioDad

I second that! I love summertime - the long days, lots of sun, warmth, grilling, gardening, mowing, washing cars, long walks, etc. It's so energizing for me.