Custody appeal next week....so nervous need prayers!
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update number 2
Thanks again for all your prayers and well wishes.
Court was continued another 4 MONTHS. I am so upset. I feel like this will never end. This is the third continuance and now he has an attorney, which will make it much harder for me to gain sole custody. Because as of now, I still have to keep her out of school because he keeps showing up, even did so this past friday! So nothing got resolved.
I have court again friday and the following monday for his protective order violations. Praying those go well.
Court was continued another 4 MONTHS. I am so upset. I feel like this will never end. This is the third continuance and now he has an attorney, which will make it much harder for me to gain sole custody. Because as of now, I still have to keep her out of school because he keeps showing up, even did so this past friday! So nothing got resolved.
I have court again friday and the following monday for his protective order violations. Praying those go well.
Yes it is going to help him most especially from him having diarrhea of the mouth in Court.
But, it doesn't negate that he has repeatedly violated Orders. I know this is incredibly frustrating for you - to me I see 4 more months as 4 more months of no visitation YAY, and 4 more months for him to demonstrate his obvious inability or desire to respect the Judge, respect the system, or admit he has major issues.
I imagine his attorney has given him a list of things to do to get back into good graces by the time Court comes around. If a Judge can't manage to get him to do that I really am not expecting his attorney to manage it.
Let us know how the upcoming hearings go. Take a deep breath, relax, and go with the flow because there is nothing else to do BUT wait. I feel you will get positive reinforcement from the upcoming hearings.
But, it doesn't negate that he has repeatedly violated Orders. I know this is incredibly frustrating for you - to me I see 4 more months as 4 more months of no visitation YAY, and 4 more months for him to demonstrate his obvious inability or desire to respect the Judge, respect the system, or admit he has major issues.
I imagine his attorney has given him a list of things to do to get back into good graces by the time Court comes around. If a Judge can't manage to get him to do that I really am not expecting his attorney to manage it.
Let us know how the upcoming hearings go. Take a deep breath, relax, and go with the flow because there is nothing else to do BUT wait. I feel you will get positive reinforcement from the upcoming hearings.
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Thank you redatlana! I agree, and that is what my attorney and the victim witness advocates have been telling me. I am going to savor these precious moments with my babygirl knowing she is safe and try to take it one day at a time. My anxiety and PTSD are just really annoying voices in the back of my mind that are telling me its not going to be ok, and im trying to fight that!
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update number 3
The county dropped the charges against him illegally visiting my daughter. Even though shes on a no contact protective order. Why? I couldn't tell you. I just found this out 3 days before court when these charges were filed 3 weeks ago and the DA told me she had checked the statutes and we were good to go.
Spent 3 hours crying yesterday. He just gets away with everything.
Congratulations dude, you got your continuance, 4 months to get your new lawyer up to date, and your charges dropped. Looks like were back to square one.
I'm tired, i dont understand the point of having a PO if I cant use it.
DAs response was she didnt feel like she could win it, so she didnt want to try. Is that how you live your whole life? Because thats not how I live mine.
Spent 3 hours crying yesterday. He just gets away with everything.
Congratulations dude, you got your continuance, 4 months to get your new lawyer up to date, and your charges dropped. Looks like were back to square one.
I'm tired, i dont understand the point of having a PO if I cant use it.
DAs response was she didnt feel like she could win it, so she didnt want to try. Is that how you live your whole life? Because thats not how I live mine.
I'm so sorry, bluebird. That's really discouraging.
I am embarrassed for the prosecutor. Too many have that mindset--it's one we are working to train out of them. With a case like this, it's better to prosecute and lose than not try to hold the offender accountable.
That doesn't help you, though. All I can say is to keep documenting and reporting violations. Establishing a pattern can help for future cases.
I'm so sorry, though. It's discouraging.
Sending you a big hug.
I am embarrassed for the prosecutor. Too many have that mindset--it's one we are working to train out of them. With a case like this, it's better to prosecute and lose than not try to hold the offender accountable.
That doesn't help you, though. All I can say is to keep documenting and reporting violations. Establishing a pattern can help for future cases.
I'm so sorry, though. It's discouraging.
Sending you a big hug.
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I'm so sorry, bluebird. That's really discouraging.
I am embarrassed for the prosecutor. Too many have that mindset--it's one we are working to train out of them. With a case like this, it's better to prosecute and lose than not try to hold the offender accountable.
That doesn't help you, though. All I can say is to keep documenting and reporting violations. Establishing a pattern can help for future cases.
I'm so sorry, though. It's discouraging.
Sending you a big hug.
I am embarrassed for the prosecutor. Too many have that mindset--it's one we are working to train out of them. With a case like this, it's better to prosecute and lose than not try to hold the offender accountable.
That doesn't help you, though. All I can say is to keep documenting and reporting violations. Establishing a pattern can help for future cases.
I'm so sorry, though. It's discouraging.
Sending you a big hug.
The stupidest part about this is we had a plea deal into him that he hadnt turned down yet and she dropped the charge before even hearing back. W.T.F.
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On another note I got home yesterday and I was so angry I found this swarovski bear giving another bear a heart thing he had given me for valentines day one year. For some reason, i kept it, thought maybe ill give it to my daughter one day. I smashed it, and what was left was one of the bears intact holding its arms out into nothing and I thought to myself....how accurate.
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It's the hardest thing to do, I know it is. You are not whiny at all! You are going through serious things, this board is here to support you, encourage you, and listen to you. Please don't ever hesitate to post when you need to reach out for any reason! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!
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Thank you. I just dont understand. Whats gods plan here? I have done everything in my power to protect my daughter and I. I have bettered my life and supported her financially by myself most of her life. I went back to school to get my degree. I started a great career and got a house. I offered to pay for his rehab. I did the mediation. I asked him to stop his bad behavior. I begged his family for an intervention. I cut him slack when he said he was weak, I tried to support him.
He has abused and manipulated me for 4 years. How does this keep happening? When is karma going to kick in? When am I going to stop feeling like a victim and feeling like a survivor?
He has abused and manipulated me for 4 years. How does this keep happening? When is karma going to kick in? When am I going to stop feeling like a victim and feeling like a survivor?
It sometimes takes time for things to work their way out. It's not like we decide to do the right thing, and everything lines up nicely for us.
You ARE doing the right thing, and don't stop just because you aren't getting the results you want immediately. I TOTALLY understand your disgust and frustration. Those are valid feelings. But what we have to do is to work past them, because they can keep us stuck if we live there.
This is a roadblock, a pothole, not the end of the road. You will get through it. All I can say is that in many of the cases I handled as a prosecutor, these guys push and push, and the more untouchable they feel the more careless they get and sooner or later it does catch up with them. But it won't happen if you give up.
Take what comfort you can in knowing others have been through the same thing and eventually came out happy and whole on the other side. You can, too.
You ARE doing the right thing, and don't stop just because you aren't getting the results you want immediately. I TOTALLY understand your disgust and frustration. Those are valid feelings. But what we have to do is to work past them, because they can keep us stuck if we live there.
This is a roadblock, a pothole, not the end of the road. You will get through it. All I can say is that in many of the cases I handled as a prosecutor, these guys push and push, and the more untouchable they feel the more careless they get and sooner or later it does catch up with them. But it won't happen if you give up.
Take what comfort you can in knowing others have been through the same thing and eventually came out happy and whole on the other side. You can, too.
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It sometimes takes time for things to work their way out. It's not like we decide to do the right thing, and everything lines up nicely for us.
You ARE doing the right thing, and don't stop just because you aren't getting the results you want immediately. I TOTALLY understand your disgust and frustration. Those are valid feelings. But what we have to do is to work past them, because they can keep us stuck if we live there.
This is a roadblock, a pothole, not the end of the road. You will get through it. All I can say is that in many of the cases I handled as a prosecutor, these guys push and push, and the more untouchable they feel the more careless they get and sooner or later it does catch up with them. But it won't happen if you give up.
Take what comfort you can in knowing others have been through the same thing and eventually came out happy and whole on the other side. You can, too.
You ARE doing the right thing, and don't stop just because you aren't getting the results you want immediately. I TOTALLY understand your disgust and frustration. Those are valid feelings. But what we have to do is to work past them, because they can keep us stuck if we live there.
This is a roadblock, a pothole, not the end of the road. You will get through it. All I can say is that in many of the cases I handled as a prosecutor, these guys push and push, and the more untouchable they feel the more careless they get and sooner or later it does catch up with them. But it won't happen if you give up.
Take what comfort you can in knowing others have been through the same thing and eventually came out happy and whole on the other side. You can, too.
HE is trying to paint you as a "vindictive ex who is using the PO as a way to get a leg up on custody." That doesn't mean the court or anyone else will buy it. Courts see these situations all the time. Those situations DO exist, but there's nothing here to suggest that's the case in your situation. The order prohibits him from seeing her. He's going to her school in an effort to violate the order by seeing her. Even if the prosecutor thinks that's insufficient to prove a violation (which is HIGHLY doubtful), there's clearly a good-faith basis for your report.
So tune out what he's trying to do. You KNOW he will do that. You don't have to give him more power by letting his song-and-dance dictate what YOU will do.
So tune out what he's trying to do. You KNOW he will do that. You don't have to give him more power by letting his song-and-dance dictate what YOU will do.
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update 3
HE is trying to paint you as a "vindictive ex who is using the PO as a way to get a leg up on custody." That doesn't mean the court or anyone else will buy it. Courts see these situations all the time. Those situations DO exist, but there's nothing here to suggest that's the case in your situation. The order prohibits him from seeing her. He's going to her school in an effort to violate the order by seeing her. Even if the prosecutor thinks that's insufficient to prove a violation (which is HIGHLY doubtful), there's clearly a good-faith basis for your report.
So tune out what he's trying to do. You KNOW he will do that. You don't have to give him more power by letting his song-and-dance dictate what YOU will do.
So tune out what he's trying to do. You KNOW he will do that. You don't have to give him more power by letting his song-and-dance dictate what YOU will do.
Yesterday I finally broke down, with the stress of everything and just cried hysterically, like I could barely breathe and hyperventilating blubbering mess type crying in my boyfriends arms. I couldn't even hold myself up. But releasing the emotion I had kept bottled inside helped a lot, and I realize that I do have so much support and love surrounding me and my family.
bb, thinking of you and the stressful song and dance you're being put through. I'm so glad you have supportive people behind you.
Although we're in different countries, the same crazy legal decisions make the struggle of partners protecting their children far more difficult than it should ever be, even when the evidence is clear cut. There is so much room for reform.
Although we're in different countries, the same crazy legal decisions make the struggle of partners protecting their children far more difficult than it should ever be, even when the evidence is clear cut. There is so much room for reform.
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