O/T Funny thing that happened to me

Old 02-08-2016, 02:20 PM
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O/T Funny thing that happened to me

OK, so I went to my friends house to go out at night for the Super Bowl. A friend of mine came in from NJ. ( I now live in Pa). So we were leaving to go out, and he grabbed my coat, and he held it open. I didn't know what he was doing !!!!!!! I went to take the coat from him, but he wouldn't give it to me, and then "stupid me" realized, he was helping me put my coat on. I have seen this happen in movies, but never to me. (lol) When I realized this, I let him help me. It really felt nice to be treated like a lady.

He repeated this again, when we were leaving after the game, and then again today, going out for breakfast, and coming back from breakfast, and then when we both left our friends house to go home.

When we were leaving my friends house, I just said to him, I wanted to feel that one more time, and I thanked him for the lovely visit, and that I'll see him again on cinco de mayo in NJ.

Do people still have manners like this, or is it because he is older (about 72) and this is the way that he was brought up and that's why he does that? I really don't care, I was just very impressed and really really liked it. I actually felt "special". He also wouldn't let me pay for my breakfast.

I felt like I was in the "Twilight Zone".

amy

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Old 02-08-2016, 02:22 PM
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I've been with my dear husband for eight years and I am still surprised when he extends a hand to help me out of the taxi behind him. He does it every single time. And every single time, I never expect it. It's awesome.
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Old 02-08-2016, 02:48 PM
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amy....I think that men of his age group were taught that "civilized men" did specific things to show their respect....opening car doors; helping with their wraps; pulling out chairs at the dinner table; assisting them over mud puddles (lol); carrying their packages; preparing and saddling up the horse; walking on the outside of the sidewalk; always allowing the lady to "go first" in all matters..a nd never using salty language in the presence of women.
This was officially spelled out by the likes of Gloria Vanderbilt....etc.....

I think that younger men may have let some of this go by the wayside as gender roles have blurred, somewhat....
However, I believe that men who have respect still have ways of showing it...
You can just tell when someone cares about and respects you...as opposed to someone who doesn't.....

I agree that being treated with care and attention feels good...r.e.a.l good!

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Old 02-08-2016, 03:08 PM
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Old 02-08-2016, 03:09 PM
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With my ex, I used to have to get in the car really fast, if not he would have pulled out while I only had one foot in the car. (lol)

Sparkle Kitty, you found a real gem.

Dandy, I just want a gentlemen to treat me with a little bit more respect then what my handyman shows me. My handyman comes over, if he sees me shoveling snow, he helps me, and doesn't charge me. My ex would just watch me do that. (lol)
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Old 02-08-2016, 03:14 PM
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amy.....I think that it is normal to want that....I want the same thing, also....

While you may not have gotten that kind of caring in the past....those days are over.....and, you can sure as hell make sure that you don't associate with anyone who treats you less than this, ever, again!!!!!!!

There is new lady in town.

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Old 02-08-2016, 03:21 PM
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It's funny, when he was doing that, even though I thought this is the strangest thing that ever happened to me was that I was hearing in my head " Do that to me one more time". Captain and Tennille.
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Old 02-08-2016, 03:21 PM
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.....I would like to add....my first husband gave me little to no special consideration....it left me feeling like I was of no importance to him. I looked, longingly, at others who were so well-treated...a little sad, inside....

After I divorced him....I kicked any men, who didn't treat me like I was valuable, straight to the curb. Guess what....there are tons of men who actually do know how to treat a woman!!!!!

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Old 02-08-2016, 03:24 PM
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LOL...I love Captain and Tennille.

Check out the song...."Lets Do It Again" on youtube.....(staple singers)....

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Old 02-08-2016, 03:26 PM
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and sometimes I wish this guy didn't live 3 hours from me. He is available. His wife was a really good friend of mine that died about 5 years ago.

But, he is just a really good friend.
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Old 02-08-2016, 03:34 PM
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RESPECT

Who sings that?

We all deserve respect from others. From
each other.

It brings out self confidence , self worth,
the best in each of us.

It's contagious so pass it on.

Thanks for sharing a lovely heartwarming
story.
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Old 02-08-2016, 03:40 PM
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Respect, ---- that Aretha Franklin. Love that song.

Hate to say this, but is I lived closer to this guy, I would be all over him like white on rice, but he has his life, I have mine.
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Old 02-08-2016, 04:12 PM
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Where I come from, this is not unusual at all. Men will help you with the coat (I remember my cousin always helping his mom, or my dad helping his sister put her coat on when she would come over. I would for example always hold it for my grandmas). There are cultures with strict sets of rules, how you greet and who greets first, the form of address, opening doors, pulling chairs out for the ladies, quiet hours after lunch in apartment buildings. It kinda becomes a usual thing.

But I can see how niceness may freak you out.

I miss niceness and good manners.
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Old 02-08-2016, 04:37 PM
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That's so lovely. I think it totally depends on the guy. I have several guy friends (early to mid-40s) who do things like this (pull out chairs to help seat their dates, hold doors, hold coats, make sure they walk closest to the road). Their dads do, too, and they're teaching their sons to do the same. Then I have other friends, who while great friends and doting on their partners in other ways, just never think of stuff like that.

I hope I'm showing DS that being a gentleman is a way to show he cares, too, or in the case of strangers, is a way to be polite. I know he sees my dad, Grandpa, hold the door for or help Grandma out of the car. And I think it's sinking in. DS may not always remember to hold the door for me (it's so hard to slow down all the time ), but if there others walking out of or into the building, he always remembers to hold the door. And to be honest he's tried to walk closest to the street with me, but it's awfully hard for me let him; at 11 yo, he may be as tall as I am now, but it's hard for me to not think of him as little still.
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Old 02-08-2016, 04:40 PM
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In my family, I actually introduced the idea of a hug for saying hello or goodbye for both my family and my ex's family. Neither ever did that. I learned that from my friends, and I liked it.

I felt like a "weirdo" doing that.
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Old 02-08-2016, 04:43 PM
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amy....do I dare to suggest that there are a few million men out there....and, many of them would feel privileged to show you some good attention.....

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Old 02-08-2016, 07:19 PM
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Love this thread. I had a boyfriend in high school that would (humorously) get onto me if I touched a door, car or house. AH never opened car doors. I just got use to not expecting it :-(
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Old 02-08-2016, 09:09 PM
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When I was at the sports bar last night, I went out to have a cigarette. A guy was leaving before me. To me it appeared that he had a problem with one of his legs, so I went to hold the door open for him, he insisted on opening up the door for me.

He told me that he had no problem walking, that he was just drunk. OK. I can deal with that. Then he asked me a question that I could not answer. He asked me what I like to do? My brain went numb. I was trying to think. I could only say, I use to be married.

I think many people here can understand my reply.

The guy responded by saying, I probably won't remember this tomorrow, so I will tell you now, "if I remember anything tomorrow I want to remember that an angel spoke to me like I was a human".
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Old 02-08-2016, 09:16 PM
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I love this thread and your story Amy... That just brought a smile to my face and I do think that there are lovely, polite men and woman all around us-- it's just that many of us were conditioned to be drawn to the ugly toxic rude ones for so long that we were perhaps blind to the polite ones who've always been here.... Glad you had a nice encounter
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Old 02-08-2016, 10:05 PM
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Sometime normal things, don't seem normal to us, or should I say me. Yesterday was really like the "Twilight Zone" for me.

I'm not use to "nice", or "normal".

My next cigarette break was with a different crew. At first I thought they were complaining about their wives. I stepped back. Didn't want to hear that. (That's how much I want to avoid confrontation. Would you believe they weren't complaining about their wives. They were talking about what they got their wives for X mas, and that they enjoyed doing that because they just wanted their wives to be happy.

So, me, cynical me, I don't understand this conversation. I'm scratching my head. Totally alien stuff that I am hearing.

I asked the first guy what he got his wife for xmas? He told me an automatic thing to pre heat the car, so he doesn't have to do that, so he could spend more time with helping her getting the kids ready for day car.

Next guy said, I got her a charm, from the first place we went on a date and bought a chain for it.

Well.............................. I don't want to hear anymore of this stuff. I wanted to go off somewhere to cry. This never happened to me.

I go to a sports bar, I go outside to have a cigarette, and I meet decent people.

What's wrong with this world?

I got married, this person said they loved me, and they are the one that hurt me the most.

I go out in the world, and things seem normal, or what I think is normal, because I don't know normal anymore, anyway.
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