Needing good vibes/prayers/mojo...

Old 02-11-2016, 10:18 AM
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Thanks, everybody!!! I'm still in the hospital and they are planning to keep me here until the baby comes. My BP has been up and down a little, but under control enough that the doctor hopes the baby can have a couple more weeks before they induce. At first after the ultrasound they told me I could go home for the bed rest, but then my BP went up again and they decided to keep me for the duration. I was pretty disappointed and cried like a frustrated child, which was embarrassing, but I can see now that this is probably for the best. I think I would have worried at home about whether I was OK and it's reassuring to be here where they can take good care of me. They've been giving me a little anxiety medication, and it's helping me relax and just go with the flow. And at least the food is decent! After a solo pregnancy, being taken care of is really not so bad! Will keep you guys updated--the little man should be here soon enough!
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Old 02-11-2016, 10:27 AM
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Glad to hear it. I would have killed for some bedrest during my pregnancies. Got any names in mind? I had a terrible time with that. Both my kids both literally got named on the way to the hospital while I was in labor.
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Old 02-11-2016, 10:57 AM
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Prayers for you and your baby. Motherhood is so hard in the very beginning but then it's 80x more amazing than you can possibly imagine. All the hard work is worth it! My son is the delight of my life. Keep us updated
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:06 AM
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Congratulations on the pregnancy! Ugh, bedrest SUCKS at best, sorry you have to go through it, especially at a hospital. What I can tell you for sure about difficult pregnancies (I have 4 kids and have had miscarriages and an ectopic along the way) is this: As soon as that baby is in your arms, everything that you are going through now and the labor and the pain all disappear and all you can think of is how you would be willing to endure 10x the amount of pain for 10x longer to have that baby look up at you. xoxox
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Old 02-11-2016, 11:13 AM
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You are both in my continued prayers!!!!! (& thanks for taking the time to pop in with an update!!)
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Old 02-12-2016, 01:01 PM
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Thanks, everybody! It's so hard to believe that I will leave here with a baby! This has been a long time coming! He is still monitoring well, and my BP has actually been pretty good the past couple days, just slightly elevated. So hopefully he can cook a while longer. I have chosen a name--I am going to name him after my great uncle, who was like a grandfather to me. He lived in my town for most of my childhood and spent a lot of time with me. He loved to play cards and teach me different games. And he was a very calm presence in my life--really the only adult relative I had who was sober! My parents both drank, but my great uncle never did and it was always a special time when he came and spent a Saturday night with us, a real break from the insanity. And he was so generous in such a humble way. I didn't know until I was grown that he had always paid for most of my and my siblings Christmas presents! He always told my Mom not to tell us. He was also a very talented artist, and I have several of his lovely paintings hanging in my home. His name was Felix. I talked to my psychiatrist last week at a kind of low point when I was feeling very anxious, and she pointed out that name means "happiness." And it's true, despite the rough ride, the arrival of this baby will be one of the most joyous things to ever happen to me.
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Old 02-12-2016, 01:23 PM
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That is really beautiful JJ, what a great way to honor someone so special to you. I can't wait for you to hold Baby Felix in your arms.
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Old 02-15-2016, 01:54 PM
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Thank you so much for sharing this! It's nice to know I'm not alone on this journey. I'm about a year older than you and for me this too has been going on for almost a year....all this coupled with cancer and medical malpractice.

I'm so happy for you!
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Old 02-23-2016, 02:39 PM
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Hi all, I really appreciate the support, wanted to give an update: my doctor let me come home for bedrest on Thursday, hooray! I've been getting lots of rest and enjoying the comforts of home. My neighbors down the hall have been such a blessing--they are an older lesbian couple who never had kids and are very excited about my baby on the way, and they have been bringing in packages for me, bringing me hot dinners, so kind! It's amazing how life supplies the support you need.

It's been a challenge because I don't have any family here. My parents have both passed away, and brother and sister live far away. It's been a disappointment that my sister, in particular, just doesn't seem capable of being supportive, even in the ways that she might be from afar. She sent me flowers when I first was admitted to the hospital, but since then has barely been in touch. She has a long history of addiction, and she also has a related history of hypochondria that I think is partly fueled by her addiction to pain pills (a lot of her phantom illnesses coincidentally require narcotics) and partly to her narcissism/need for attention. She has been doing a little better the past few years, but I think that my hospitalization raised some issues for her. It might sound strange, but I think she is actually a little jealous! She hasn't been in touch for the past week, and then she wrote me today and asked very briefly how I'd been doing, and then quickly changed the topic to her escalating fears about her son's health, which she offered as an excuse for not being in touch. He is five now, and I've noticed that her health anxieties are projected on him a lot. She has been mentioning for years that she fears he is autistic. She works with autistic kids and so is hyper-aware of the symptoms. For a while she kept mentioning that he was flapping his hands but said the experts were telling her it wasn't autism, but she has continued to pursue a diagnosis and now reports he sometimes slaps his knees or crotch when he's excited. She says she has been talking to her pediatrician who has told her to go to a special university center if she wants to pursue it. As far as I can tell, he is a high functioning, social kid and I'm really suspicious of all this. So it just feels weird that she is escalating her pursuit of an autism diagnosis at the same time that I've been hospitalized and am getting ready to give birth. Anyway, this is a little O/T, except that it's the latest challenge in dealing with my addicted/NPD sister, sigh.

As for me, my blood pressure has been under control at home and I'm hoping that will continue and my doctor will give me a little time before he wants to induce. I'm 36 and a half weeks now and hope I can let the little guy cook for a while longer! It's nice to be home where I can nest a little here and there--trying not to do too much, but I think I've got everything the little guy needs in place, now just waiting on the little guy! It's been so good to be reminded by you guys that this stress around how/when he will be delivered is just the final phase before I get to meet my baby!
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Old 03-17-2016, 11:33 AM
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~~~Bumping~~~ for an update JJ!

You and your little miracle have been heavily on my mind this week.... sending continued prayers & happy thoughts!!
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