Infinite Happy Days - Gratitude and Joy Posts - Part 1
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Today I'm grateful for my job, the same job that seemed to be NOTHING like what I'd been told it would be back when I started in July. One thing and another has happened and it's actually working out very well, w/one of the biggest advantages being that I have several hours a day in my car alone, giving me time to listen to all kinds of recovery/self-help material.
We get what we need, even if the box the gift comes in says "shop vac" when we were hoping for a set of good kitchen knives...!
We get what we need, even if the box the gift comes in says "shop vac" when we were hoping for a set of good kitchen knives...!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
So incredibly grateful to finally "get it" - that I can CHOOSE to be happy despite anything going on around me. I really can. Choosing Happy means not choosing to get personally affected by the actions of others. It doesn't excuse or negate anything happening around me, but allows me to stay separate from it & not get dragged into the fray.
Grateful that despite multiple trips to many stores, we managed to find 1 pair each of shorts & pants for DD's school uniforms. She always outgrows stuff mid-year but this time around puberty is wreaking havoc on her body & she is so terribly "in between". It is like reliving it all. over. again. watching her go through the process of trying on dozens of pairs, different sizes, different cuts, different lines completely & nothing fits.
I am even more grateful that as we discussed it over & over again throughout the shopping experiences (lots of changing rooms, lol) women of all sizes & shapes took the time to assure her that they too felt the sting of body changes & the last thing that she is, is Alone in all of this. What a blessing to have the point made over & over from other women - This is not Your Fault, You are Not The Only One, We All Go Through This At Some Point. We've been able to talk about the physical, emotional, social changes that this all brings about.
Happy & grateful that the experience continued when we went for acupuncture. She not only had DD laughing out loud over all of it, she also alerted me that what I thought was a mild but constant & irritating UTI was really a side-effect of low estrogen. She said it's not outrageous to consider how it may have somehow triggered in reaction to DD's own fluctuations. Makes sense - I definitely have seen it providing me with a lot of opportunities of re-parenting for me around me Inner Child.
Grateful that despite multiple trips to many stores, we managed to find 1 pair each of shorts & pants for DD's school uniforms. She always outgrows stuff mid-year but this time around puberty is wreaking havoc on her body & she is so terribly "in between". It is like reliving it all. over. again. watching her go through the process of trying on dozens of pairs, different sizes, different cuts, different lines completely & nothing fits.
I am even more grateful that as we discussed it over & over again throughout the shopping experiences (lots of changing rooms, lol) women of all sizes & shapes took the time to assure her that they too felt the sting of body changes & the last thing that she is, is Alone in all of this. What a blessing to have the point made over & over from other women - This is not Your Fault, You are Not The Only One, We All Go Through This At Some Point. We've been able to talk about the physical, emotional, social changes that this all brings about.
Happy & grateful that the experience continued when we went for acupuncture. She not only had DD laughing out loud over all of it, she also alerted me that what I thought was a mild but constant & irritating UTI was really a side-effect of low estrogen. She said it's not outrageous to consider how it may have somehow triggered in reaction to DD's own fluctuations. Makes sense - I definitely have seen it providing me with a lot of opportunities of re-parenting for me around me Inner Child.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Today I am very, very grateful that a dear friend has finally been able to finalize her divorce after two grueling years. Those of you who have been around for a couple of years may remember me mentioning these two in the past. Her now ex-husband is one of STBXAH's closest friends. This guy was present in my home during a couple of particularly bad episodes of emotional abuse, and when he and STBXAH had to work out of state for a year, he started attending Celebrate Recovery and then started messaging me on Facebook about how I needed to be very, very careful dealing with STBXAH because of how "toxic" and dangerous he was. (Of course, that lasted for about 6 weeks. He's been back to drinking for over two years now, and despite his extreme right-wing religious beliefs, which for years he used to control his wife, has had a baby with another woman. He thinks his now ex-wife doesn't know about the baby, but she does. The whole thing is utterly ridiculous, and exactly what you would expect from an A.) Anyway, I ended up deleting and then blocking him on Facebook well over a year ago. I am so, so grateful that my friend (and their daughter) can now move forward with their lives.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Grateful today that the results of my health assessment at work (part of our wellness program, and it gives me a discount on my health insurance premium) were good. Despite still being a bit into the "obese" BMI category even after dropping 20 pounds since I moved, my blood pressure and blood sugar are totally normal. My triglycerides were high, and the plan is to just step up my weight loss game, and hopefully that number will start to come down on its own.
This is a big deal to me, because by the time my mother was my age, she had eaten herself into morbid obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. I'd like to lose another 30 pounds or so, and even that still makes me "overweight" on the BMI chart, but I feel healthier today than I have in a long time. Thanks in no small part to my improved emotional health, and getting myself the hell out of that toxic home environment.
This is a big deal to me, because by the time my mother was my age, she had eaten herself into morbid obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. I'd like to lose another 30 pounds or so, and even that still makes me "overweight" on the BMI chart, but I feel healthier today than I have in a long time. Thanks in no small part to my improved emotional health, and getting myself the hell out of that toxic home environment.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Congratulations on your improvements in your health, Wisconsin! You've made great strides, especially since it looks like you may be working against a genetic component to at least some extent, too.
And it's amazing how much difference it can make to get out of a toxic environment, isn't it? I'm finding it much easier to remain on track w/my own exercise/weight loss efforts now than in years past. I guess when we're able to focus our time and energy on ourselves rather than on another person or on trying to control the chaos all around us, it's amazing what that time and energy can produce!
Go, Wisconsin, Go!
And it's amazing how much difference it can make to get out of a toxic environment, isn't it? I'm finding it much easier to remain on track w/my own exercise/weight loss efforts now than in years past. I guess when we're able to focus our time and energy on ourselves rather than on another person or on trying to control the chaos all around us, it's amazing what that time and energy can produce!
Go, Wisconsin, Go!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: MN
Posts: 49
Grateful that I finally tackled the HUGE mail pile that I ignored since Thanksgiving, not that anything was unpaid on time, but the filing of papers was long overdue! Now I am ready for tax time! Maybe a small vacation? DD was accepted for a internship at emergency room for the semester!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Thanks so much for the encouragement! Fortunately, my blood sugar and blood pressure have always been normal, but I could definitely feel the clock ticking away on that. I managed to munch my way up to my highest weight ever last summer, and I'm glad that I'm working to correct that now before it started affecting my blood sugar and blood pressure. After watching my own mother deteriorate so much over so many years, I just refuse to put my own children through that. Plus, I want to LIVE this life! Not watch it pass me by while I stress eat the days away.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Plus, I want to LIVE this life! Not watch it pass me by while I stress eat the days away.
Somehow, that moment of recognition shone a light on something I'd not cared to see or admit in the past, ever. It has made a big, big difference to me in the decisions I make regarding food as well as regarding how I deal w/any unpleasant emotion. It's a whole new perspective for me.
NUMBING. It was absolutely a revelation to me.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
WOOHOO Wisconsin! What a great accomplishment! Keeping up with DD is a big motivator for me, I want to stay active & be able to run & dance with her for as long as possible.
HP - I know the part that you are referring to & it fits me like a glove as well. I had already had a couple of AHA moments around my emotional eating issues prior to reading it in her book, but looking at it as "numbing" was a new, simpler way to think of it.
My lowest moment was when, while working hard to consciously tackle this issue last year, I "caught" myself picking a fight with RAH as he was on his way out the door for his weekly meeting. The entire time my internal dialogue was like "WTH? Why am I getting SO upset? This isn't a big issue? Is it even an issue at all? Why would I bring this up, especially right now?" etc.
Standing in front of the double doors on my pantry just seconds after he left I had an AHA that felt like an anvil really had fallen on my head a la Wile E. Coyote. In the absence of any "reason" to eat, I'd created the entire situation to validate stuffing my face. It was even more humiliating to mentally tick back over all the incidences in my mind & see how I'd been doing this in one way or another for a very, very long time.
It's also why I have such a snit-fit every time a teacher rewards my child with candy or any kind of food "treat". I realize it's an affordable way to acknowledge the kid's hard work, but food as a reward is WRONG, Imo.
HP - I know the part that you are referring to & it fits me like a glove as well. I had already had a couple of AHA moments around my emotional eating issues prior to reading it in her book, but looking at it as "numbing" was a new, simpler way to think of it.
My lowest moment was when, while working hard to consciously tackle this issue last year, I "caught" myself picking a fight with RAH as he was on his way out the door for his weekly meeting. The entire time my internal dialogue was like "WTH? Why am I getting SO upset? This isn't a big issue? Is it even an issue at all? Why would I bring this up, especially right now?" etc.
Standing in front of the double doors on my pantry just seconds after he left I had an AHA that felt like an anvil really had fallen on my head a la Wile E. Coyote. In the absence of any "reason" to eat, I'd created the entire situation to validate stuffing my face. It was even more humiliating to mentally tick back over all the incidences in my mind & see how I'd been doing this in one way or another for a very, very long time.
It's also why I have such a snit-fit every time a teacher rewards my child with candy or any kind of food "treat". I realize it's an affordable way to acknowledge the kid's hard work, but food as a reward is WRONG, Imo.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 246
I haven't posted in this thread for ages. I only did it once. ..way back in October.
Where I live, we have a blizzard watch in effect later this week. I started to think of the hunk of machinery (our snow blower) in the garage. It's been a year or two since I used it last. Thankfully, I have wonderful neighbors that I can depend on and are always there for me. We always come together and make sure everyone is taken care of. And, the snow blower is passed along to whomever is in need of it. So much gratitude for my neighbors.
Of course, the more snow the better in my children's eyes. Sleds, snowmen and snow angels. I hope the snow comes for my children's sake so they have an opportunity to enjoy the white fluffy stuff.
That said, power outages? Umm...my gratitude for the snow might go south without power.
Where I live, we have a blizzard watch in effect later this week. I started to think of the hunk of machinery (our snow blower) in the garage. It's been a year or two since I used it last. Thankfully, I have wonderful neighbors that I can depend on and are always there for me. We always come together and make sure everyone is taken care of. And, the snow blower is passed along to whomever is in need of it. So much gratitude for my neighbors.
Of course, the more snow the better in my children's eyes. Sleds, snowmen and snow angels. I hope the snow comes for my children's sake so they have an opportunity to enjoy the white fluffy stuff.
That said, power outages? Umm...my gratitude for the snow might go south without power.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I have been a loyal viewer of a TLC television show called My 600 Pound Life for a few years. Each episode follows a extremely morbidly obese person as they seek weight loss surgery and (hopefully) lose weight. In the first season, there was very little attention paid to the emotional side of eating for these people, but more recently, the patients are shown going to therapy, discussing their issues, etc. I think I latched on to this show as a way to try to understand why my own mother got as bad as she did.
I am totally an emotional eater. I always have been, and I have always known that I am. It's clear that I've dropped these 20 pounds because I'm not doing nearly as much emotional eating now that I'm out on my own. That said...it's still important for me to deal with the fact that I DO eat emotionally under stress, because stress will find me no matter what. I need to keep working on developing coping skills before the next majorly stressful life event happens.
I am totally an emotional eater. I always have been, and I have always known that I am. It's clear that I've dropped these 20 pounds because I'm not doing nearly as much emotional eating now that I'm out on my own. That said...it's still important for me to deal with the fact that I DO eat emotionally under stress, because stress will find me no matter what. I need to keep working on developing coping skills before the next majorly stressful life event happens.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
I'm grateful it warmed up here (into the 20s, *****!) and I can take my houndies over to the park and get a decent walk in for the first time in several days! The basset just plain doesn't function in cold, cold weather--he simply does not walk. The little Demon Terrier would go, but she is so hell bent I worry about her freezing her little foot pads (she is the definition of the word "dogged"...).
Off to put my kitchen in order and then take the little ones exploring!
Off to put my kitchen in order and then take the little ones exploring!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
Got some catching up to do.
Also grateful for our local "double digit heat wave."
Grateful for some time to write at the library while DS6 played yesterday.
Grateful for an opportunity to practice saying "no" kindly but firmly.
Grateful that the earlier no left room for a "yes" when something I really did want came along. (This whole setting boundaries/not being a martyr thing is really working out for me, lol).
Grateful for a quiet day to work at home.
Also grateful for our local "double digit heat wave."
Grateful for some time to write at the library while DS6 played yesterday.
Grateful for an opportunity to practice saying "no" kindly but firmly.
Grateful that the earlier no left room for a "yes" when something I really did want came along. (This whole setting boundaries/not being a martyr thing is really working out for me, lol).
Grateful for a quiet day to work at home.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I got cold just reading, "20's" in your post, HP. 
I know I'm always too wordy, but I really want to share this Happy with you guys.... I really will try to make it brief.
Background: Working on a marketing item for clients, a feel-good, touching-base kind of thing - the exact type of thing I've been trying to incorporate for us. Meantime, boss is cranky - physically unwell, personal issues, challenges at work, trying her best but carrying sadness.
Last night I ran into the Dollar Tree for exactly TWO items, found them, dove for the register lines & got cut off by a harried mom towing a very precocious 4-yr old. Kid is amped, hyper, keeps leaving the line to look at other stuff, bringing more stuff back to mom who is a constant -but unauthoritative- "no", "no", "not today", "I already said no", etc. with nervous looks toward the rest of us in line trying to juggle around kiddo. She's asking the kid to check the other line for speed of checkout (she's FOUR), it's rude & chaotic & I found myself falling into a judgmental thought process. Completely.
Cuz, you see, MY kid would NEVER act that way. And I'm in a hurry too Lady, my own DD is at home waiting for me, bad day, awful traffic, dinner, laundry, etc waiting...... do you really have NO control over this kid? She just gets to run everywhere in public like this?
Ouch. I really did feel the burn of my own judgment & instantly thought of Brene Brown's examples of mother-shaming & I saw how simply it happens. Ugh, ugh, ugh. So, I engaged the kid, kept her attention so mom could check out & pay (that's all she really needed, she was cute as heck & just wanted to talk, talk, talk... just like my own at that age) & finally gleaned enough info to see the picture - dad is in the car with a screaming baby, mom is Stressed, her anxiety is all over her face, Kid is just being a Kid. I've been THERE a million + times. Total flood of empathy.
Kid shoves another item at mom as she's paying for their stuff - what is it? can I have it? No - no, let's go..... she smile gratefully at me.
I look down at the item & the other one on the shelf obviously meant to be it's partner in a pair & it's a lightning bolt moment - The PERFECT marketing pieces for what I need. For $2/gift essentially. By the time I pretty them up, it'll be no less than exactly perfect, I already know it.
When I put together a mock-up & present it first thing this morning, Boss throws her head back & belly laughs harder than I've heard in forever. She's ALL smiles, totally thrilled with all of it. I'm even HAPPIER to be able to make her feel this way, even if just for a moment because she really does do a lot for me & my family.
A small, irritating, negative moment will have turned into positive energy paid forward for at LEAST 36 people - those directly receiving these gifts. I have zero doubt it will compound from there & that it will be shared over & over with their own family & friends.
I know I'm always too wordy, but I really want to share this Happy with you guys.... I really will try to make it brief.
Background: Working on a marketing item for clients, a feel-good, touching-base kind of thing - the exact type of thing I've been trying to incorporate for us. Meantime, boss is cranky - physically unwell, personal issues, challenges at work, trying her best but carrying sadness.
Last night I ran into the Dollar Tree for exactly TWO items, found them, dove for the register lines & got cut off by a harried mom towing a very precocious 4-yr old. Kid is amped, hyper, keeps leaving the line to look at other stuff, bringing more stuff back to mom who is a constant -but unauthoritative- "no", "no", "not today", "I already said no", etc. with nervous looks toward the rest of us in line trying to juggle around kiddo. She's asking the kid to check the other line for speed of checkout (she's FOUR), it's rude & chaotic & I found myself falling into a judgmental thought process. Completely.
Cuz, you see, MY kid would NEVER act that way. And I'm in a hurry too Lady, my own DD is at home waiting for me, bad day, awful traffic, dinner, laundry, etc waiting...... do you really have NO control over this kid? She just gets to run everywhere in public like this?
Ouch. I really did feel the burn of my own judgment & instantly thought of Brene Brown's examples of mother-shaming & I saw how simply it happens. Ugh, ugh, ugh. So, I engaged the kid, kept her attention so mom could check out & pay (that's all she really needed, she was cute as heck & just wanted to talk, talk, talk... just like my own at that age) & finally gleaned enough info to see the picture - dad is in the car with a screaming baby, mom is Stressed, her anxiety is all over her face, Kid is just being a Kid. I've been THERE a million + times. Total flood of empathy.
Kid shoves another item at mom as she's paying for their stuff - what is it? can I have it? No - no, let's go..... she smile gratefully at me.
I look down at the item & the other one on the shelf obviously meant to be it's partner in a pair & it's a lightning bolt moment - The PERFECT marketing pieces for what I need. For $2/gift essentially. By the time I pretty them up, it'll be no less than exactly perfect, I already know it.
When I put together a mock-up & present it first thing this morning, Boss throws her head back & belly laughs harder than I've heard in forever. She's ALL smiles, totally thrilled with all of it. I'm even HAPPIER to be able to make her feel this way, even if just for a moment because she really does do a lot for me & my family.
A small, irritating, negative moment will have turned into positive energy paid forward for at LEAST 36 people - those directly receiving these gifts. I have zero doubt it will compound from there & that it will be shared over & over with their own family & friends.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
